What Could Have Been

Joe

I'm walking down the street because I just needed time alone to think about how am I going to get me and my mother out of this situation without losing everything that we have. It seems like the world is hard to live in, and I don't know what I want for myself, I haven't figured that out yet. What I want right now is for my father to leave us alone and let us live the life that we so desperately want. As I'm walking down another street I see the girl again with some guy, I'm pretty sure that's her. I never thought I would see her again, I kept my distance but I just wanted to watch. I seen he gave her a blunt and then he walked away, she's smoking it and I'm just watching her, you may think I'm a stalker or that I'm weird but somehow I just want to protect her without even knowing her. 30 minutes has passed and I see her start to walk so I follow, keeping myself as far as way as possible. She's stumbling just a little bit and I'm quite worried. Why am I worried about someone I haven't even spoken to? Something about her has me hooked already. She falls down, I was going to run over to her when I seen this older man come to her, now I didn't react bad or worried for her because this older man is like a family member to me, I trust him with my life. He helps her, making sure she's okay but she started to have a panic attack and she ran, you know what this means? I have to run to catch up to her to make sure she's okay. I started running and she collapsed, I hurried over to her and I asked her if she was okay and she told me thank you and she even asked me if this was real? I thought to myself is she thinking about me too? So I replied with a smile. I asked her if she needed a ride home and she told me yes. I open the car door for her and she got in, I went around to get to the drivers seat.

She looks so tired but beautiful, gorgeous, stunning.
"I seen you take something from a guy, who was that?" I say
She looks at me and said "you were watching me? Okay weirdo" she started to laugh
" I mean not stalking just making sure you was okay." I replied with a faint tone
"Well thank you for saving my life, he gave me blunt with LSD in it and it was the best thing of my life."
"Was it now? How so?" I say
" I had a moment of relief from all the shit I go through so I needed a little break".
" I see, I mean I don't judge"
Then we were silent for a bit before I asked her for her address and she said
" I just want you to drop me off a few blocks away from my place" she says
"Are you sure?"
" I don't want you to know where I live"
"Understandable"
She gives me a place to drop her off at, I got closer and I asked her
"Do you want my number? To be friends? Or if you're in trouble?" I say
She sighs and says " yes please, let me just put my number in your phone" she grabs my phone and puts her number in and texted herself saying "hey"
"Thank you for putting your number in my phone, I appreciate it" I said as I stopped the car
"No problem" she gets out and waits for me to leave
and I sped off.

I finally got her number, now if I want to talk to her I could message her right? Without her thinking I'm weird or strange? I'm just so happy that I seen her again. Maybe it's time for me to make my move and try to take her out for dinner? Nah I'm getting ahead of myself. I get out of my car and walked into my place, and I see my mother crying on the couch
"Mom are you okay?" I say
"Baby, I'm just so depressed, I don't want him to stay here anymore" she says crying even more
"Mom, I know it's hard but we're going to get out of it, we just have to make a plan okay? I'm here for you and I love you so much. You're so beautiful inside and out and you will be okay and safe with me alright?"
"Alright baby I love you too, I'm so happy I have you" she says as she hugs me tight.
Seeing my mom in pain is the worst thing ever because what are we going to do? Where are we going to go if we get away from him? He could take money from us and we can be out on the streets but is that better than living here? Maybe.
I went up to my room and turned on my record player and played the song called lovely by billie eilish, yes I'm a big fan of hers and her music has saved my life countless of times. I get cocaine out of my drawer and I sniffed some before I lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling. Yes I do drugs, no my parents doesn't know but they don't have too. This is the only way I can get a clear piece of mind while not giving a fuck about what's going on. I'm in a trance, high out of my mind but all I could do is pick up my phone and message her.
"Hey" I messaged and she left me on read and haven't answered me. Maybe she'll answer me on her own time so I'm not going to triple text her.
I throw my phone down and get up from my bed to go get some food because I'm starving. I go downstairs to the kitchen to see my dad eating and listening to his music, I walked passed him, grabbed some Frosted Flakes with some milk and he looks at me and says
"Your mother is a big cry baby" he says while smirking
"She isn't, she's a strong woman who you don't deserve because you're a piece of shit" I said.
Usually when I talk back, he gets up and starts screaming in my face but he doesn't all he says is
"You both are worthless I swear. I regret meeting her and having you."
I take my cereal and go upstairs back to my room and slammed it.
He think he can talk to me in this way still huh? I can turn all psycho on him and let him have it. That day is coming close. As I'm eating my cereal I get a message saying
"Hey, By the way my name is Love. "
I said " Nice to meet you Love, my name is Joe"
"That's nice." She says
I put down my phone and think of her name in my mouth while I would just fuck her, what am I doing? I need to stop this but I can't. I'm obsessed.