"I've missed you." Lola announced, looking up from her cup of tea for a brief moment.
Nodding lightly, Karen gave her a warm smile in return. "I've missed you, sweetie." She assured as she cradled her cup of coffee close to her lips. "What have you been up to? How's school going?" The older woman wondered, eyes still locked with Lola's deep blue orbs.
She had picked her up from school that day, which was quite the surprise. She hadn't been in charge of school pick ups in years, but when Lola got called down to the office a little early to leave, she was thrilled to see their old nanny waiting for her.
"I'm doing better, but I still see my counselor twice a week." Lola wasn't afraid to admit that to Karen, but if anyone else asked, she got incredibly defensive.
They had been through a lot together and a part of her felt like Karen was the only person who actually understood what she went through. After all, she was there- she was the one that rushed the kids into the house that day and then, she hurried back outside to handle Stevie... She had seen it all, which is why she could no longer work for them the way she had been.
It was too heartbreaking and she was too attached.
"You're the strongest girl I know, Lola..." Karen lingered, raising a brow lightly before she continued. "Between you and your mother, that is." She knew their relationship wasn't easy- not since the accident, but it was still the truth.
Lola and Stevie were quite similar, which was probably why they had a tendency to bump heads as often as they did.
They both threw themselves into their journaling, rather than sharing their true emotions with others... others who could, potentially help with the healing process. And they both loved incredibly hard, which inevitably made loss far worse for them, even though that sort of loss would have been absolutely heartbreaking for anyone.
"Who called you?" The teenager wondered, suddenly very aware of the fact that Karen knew things weren't going very smooth at home.
Taking a sip of her coffee, Karen shook her head lightly. "No one called, dear." She lied, not at all interested in putting all the blame on Lindsey, even though she definitely wasn't his biggest fan. "I just hadn't seen you in a while and I want to make sure you're doing alright." She shrugged her shoulder casually, silently telling Lola that she wasn't there to judge... she was there as a friend, not an authoritarian.
Sinking down slowly, Lola's eyes fell to the table as she closed the menu and set it off to the side. "Do you remember the way she screamed?" Creasing a brow, her mind instantly drifted back in time... She would never forget that sound, not for as long as she lived.
It was one of those moments that would forever be engraved in her mind... It was something no twelve year old should have ever had to experience.
Swallowing hard, Karen shifted in her seat awkwardly. "I don't think about that day very much anymore." She admitted as this feeling of pure sadness washed over her in one big wave. "But I remember that, yes." She didn't mean for it to happen, but her voice cracked as she tried hard not to cry.
She had spent years getting over it too.
"She's never been the same since." Lola whispered, chewing on her bottom lip from the built up nerves.
With a heavy sigh, the older woman reached across the table for her hand. "She lost her daughter in a very sad way, sweet girl." She reminded her, even though they were both very aware. "She will never, ever be the person she was before that. It broke her.... But she's working on it, I know she is." Karen knew it wasn't easy for Stevie- the kids didn't even know the half of what their mother had gone through, so to judge her for her choices wasn't viable.
But Karen had always been there, even after she no longer worked for them. In the beginning, shortly after she resigned, she still drove Stevie to her therapy sessions, cooked dinner, juggled the kids, and she even helped them in their search for a new nanny.
She loved them all, but after something like that, it was just too hard. She adored those children and when they lost one, she was heartbroken as well.
"I'm still mad at her." Lola got tired of the "cut her some slack" speeches- it got old.
She understood it was difficult, but she didn't understand how her mother could just give up. She still had three other children that deserved the same loving mother... It didn't seem fair.
"Why?" Karen had always been the easiest one to talk to- that's why all the kids were so sad to see her leave.
"Because she's never happy. She can never just be happy, not for anything, not even for Clancy." It came out of her mouth so fast, it was obvious to Karen that it really upset her. "Clancy doesn't even understand what happened. She just thinks our life is normal and it's not." She added, shaking her head out of disbelief. "Between dad not coming home at night and mom not getting out of bed, our family is a train wreck." She wasn't oblivious, not in the slightest.
She knew it wasn't how families we're supposed to function. She had gone over to other friends houses, whose families all sat down to eat, they shared conversations, they watched movies together, laughed with each other and their parents really loved one another... She couldn't remember the last time it felt like Stevie and Lindsey even enjoyed being in close proximity, let alone loved each other.
"I think you should try talking to your mom..." she lingered for a moment. "Or even your dad." She added, trying hard not to roll her eyes.
She was never impressed with him, especially not after hearing that he didn't come home most nights. That didn't sit well with her.
With a soft sigh, she shrugged. "I guess, I can try."
~~~
"I told you not to worry about us, you can go." Stevie repeated herself for the third time in the last couple of minutes as she stood in the living room doorway with a glass of wine in hand.
Looking up from the puzzle he was helping Clancy with, Crew shook his head lightly. "I'll just hang out here tonight." He assured, secretly hoping that she would just drop it.
"But you wanted to go to the football game earlier." Stevie creased a brow, not sure why he didn't want to leave all of a sudden... He was so excited about it when he got home from school.
Sighing quietly, he shrugged a shoulder. "All my friends are staying home, too." That was a lie, but he would rather tell her that, than tell her that he didn't want to leave them alone after she'd had a couple of glasses of wine... It was sad, but he felt better that way.
"Your dad should be home soon, Crew." His mother could see it in his eyes that he was stretching the truth a bit. "He just went to the studio for awhile, that's all."
That was the story he told her, even though he had actually gone to meet Carrie... Like usual.
"I don't wanna go, mom." The way he said that was enough for her know that she should just stop talking about it.
He wasn't leaving and that was that.
