With the hem of her long black dress in one hand, Stevie used the other to keep her curly blonde locks out of her eyes as she trailed only a couple of inches away from her husband.
It was a cloudy day, with a slight breeze, but still beautiful, nonetheless.
"It's a little chilly." She whispered, staring down at the creamy grains of sand.
Instead of going to pick the kids up from school that afternoon, Lindsey asked if she wanted to walk along the beach, just the two of them. It was something that seemed a little more intimate than going out for a simple dinner, or to see a movie... He kind of wanted to just talk to her, alone.
"Here," Lindsey paused, slipping his jacket off his arms for her.
"Oh, no... I'm fine." She held out a hand to stop him as she allowed a soft chuckle to fill the air around them. "I'm okay, Lindsey. I should have brought a sweater from the house." She shrugged a shoulder, not at all interested in taking his.
"I'm not even cold." He assured, moving her hair to one side as he draped the jacket over her shoulders. "I want you to stay warm." Lindsey took her hair in his hand once more, fanning it back out over the leather coat.
"Thank you, Linds." She gave him a very gentle smile as her deep brown orbs melted right into those blue storms.
He had always had the most enchanting set of eyes- the kind of eyes that just spoke such high volume, even when words went unsaid. She could read those eyes, even on the worst of days.
"You're so beautiful." The longer he stared at her, the more he was reminded of the woman he had gotten married to.
She looked so happy in that moment, almost like nothing else really mattered... Almost like all the bad things in life had drifted so far away, it wasn't even real anymore.
He loved her all the time- he really did, but he adored her when she was that carefree. It made him feel like there was still hope for them, after everything they had been through.
"That's only because I got dressed today." Stevie sometimes, on the very rare occasion, made a joke out of all the chaos.
Sometimes it was just easier to laugh it off, instead of worrying about it more than she already did.
His lips turned him as he nodded his head lightly. "Yeah, you clean up pretty nice." His heart did a little dance when he heard her giggle... He had missed that little laugh more than he had even realized. "I really want you to know how proud I am of you, Steph." He announced after a moment of silence had washed over them. "I know that it hasn't been easy, but it makes me really happy to see you like this."
He was proud, very much so. She hadn't gone out and done an entire one- eighty or anything, but she was really trying and that was all that mattered to him. For a long time, quite a few years, it felt like they were both just allowing their whole life to slip away and disappear... He didn't want that and he was so thankful that she didn't either.
Wrapping the jacket around herself a little tighter, her eyes fell back down to the sand. "We're gonna make it through this, right?" She creased a brow, still not totally certain that her efforts would be enough to save what they had once shared.
Stevie had missed a lot... a lot of life in the years that had led up to that very moment. She'd missed soccer games, gymnastics class, recitals, and even some school dances- all those things that mothers look back on and gush over. She'd been absent for a lot of it.
And she was worried that if she kept on the same path, she'd sleep right through it all and wake up as an empty nester, which was one of their biggest fears.
"We're going to make it through this, baby." He didn't mean to call her that, but it just sort of slipped out. "I'm-" he was getting ready to tell her that he was sorry- he knew that she didn't want to be called things like that anymore.
"Don't be sorry." She shook her head softly. "We're married..." she lingered, biting down on her lower lip.
With a light nod, he glanced over at her. "That was the best day of my life." Lindsey admitted for the first time in a really, really long time.
"Oh, please." She tossed her head back, letting out a deep laugh. "Now you're just trying to win yourself some brownie points." She smirked as she shook her head softly.
"I'm being serious." He half grinned as his mind drifted back, twenty years in the past. "You were all I ever wanted." He added, totally certain of himself.
They had gotten married in December, only a couple of weeks before Christmas in 1978. Their wedding came at a time of totally insanity. They had broken up, gotten back together, ended it again and then, one night, they just decided to tie the knot out of no where.
It wasn't really romantic or gigantic, but it was still special and it was still their day... It was just as unpredictable as they were.
"Oh, how times have changed." She whispered, heart beating a mile minute as she also thought back on that day.
She couldn't wait to spend her life with him, even though they had always shared such a complex relationship.
It would never be easy, she knew that going in.
Pursing his lips to one side, he shrugged. "You're still all I want." Lindsey couldn't believe how open they were being, but it felt good.
It was like finally, after all the built up secrets and sadness, they were figuring it out.
Half heartedly, Stevie reached out to take his hand in hers. "Thank you for that." Her voice was soft and quiet as she tangled their fingers together.
Bringing their hands up, he used his free one to cup hers as comfortable silence engulfed them once more.
~~~
It was later that evening, long after everyone had disappeared to their rooms for the night, when Lindsey snuck out. He had done it a million times before, but for some reason, that night it felt different... It felt really wrong.
"I can't do this anymore." He had hardly stepped into her apartment when those words left his mouth.
Staring at him with a blank expression, Carrie's heart instantly sank into the very pit of her stomach. "What do you mean?" She wasn't totally dumb, she was just hoping he wasn't saying what she thought he was saying... she didn't want it to be over.
Sighing lightly, he shifted all his weight from one foot to the other. "She's really trying." His eyes fell to the tile floor as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "And I can't do this anymore, not when I know how much it could hurt her." He had always known that he was doing the wrong thing, but it felt far worse now that they were working it out.
With a light scoff, she crossed her arms over her chest. "She can't love you like I can, Lindsey." Carrie really, truly believed that. "And she doesn't deserve you anymore." Her voice cracked as tears built up in the brims of her eyes.
Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he shook his head in disagreement. "You don't understand what we've been through together."
"I understand perfectly well..." she lingered, swallowing hard in hopes she wouldn't totally break down in tears. "Please, don't do this." Carrie tried to reach out for him, but before she could, he held out a hand to stop her.
"My wife has to start coming first in my life." As a husband, it was sort of embarrassing to admit that she hadn't been his first priority to begin with. "She's far too important for me to lose over something totally meaningless."
"Meaningless?" Carrie repeated, eyes burning right into him. "Leave, Lindsey."
