He just stared at her for a long moment, heart sinking into the pit of his stomach as he looked into those deep brown eyes.
He could tell that she had been crying for quite awhile- her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed... He hadn't seen her like that in a long time.
And he knew, in just that split second, that she had found out. He could tell... He could feel it in the stillness of the room.
"Okay, we're gonna head out." Karen's voice is what broke the silence that had completely washed over the room. "Do you guys wanna join us?" She wondered, leaning into the doorframe as she held a cup of hot chocolate in one hand.
Stevie didn't turn around, she didn't want Karen to see the tears in her eyes. And she wasn't ready to explain anything quite yet, so instead of making it obvious just how upset she was, she decided to shield everyone else for the time being.
"No, honey." Shaking her head, her eyes drifted from her husband, back to the living room carpet. "We'll stay here." She added in a low murmur as the tears finally fell down her puffy cheeks.
She didn't want to be that upset, but it was so hard not to... She really thought they were getting their shit together and for awhile, she had this feeling, this strong hope that they were going to make it through that storm... She didn't know that there was another one brewing right in front of her.
Lindsey's heart was beating a mile a minute as he glanced up. "Have a good time." He told Karen with a weak, very faint smile.
Raising a brow, she nodded her head. "Alright," she could feel the tension in the room- it was almost suffocating, but it wasn't her business... Their marriage had always been incredibly complicated. "We'll be back later tonight." She added as she trailed into the foyer, where all the kids were waiting for her.
"What-" he was getting ready to ask her what had happened, but she silenced him instantly.
"Don't talk to me until my kids are gone." She warned in a leery tone.
She didn't want to argue at all, but she really didn't want to argue in front of their children... not about that, not about his infidelity.
That wouldn't have been fair, not to them. And even though Stevie was pretty devastated, she still wanted to consider their feelings as well. That was their father... they didn't need to know that he had been cheating on their mom.
That's the sort of stuff that ruins children's lives when they find out.
So instead, they sat in silence for a couple of more minutes, while the kids grabbed their sweaters, put on their shoes and bickered about who was going to sit in the front seat.
It wasn't until the sound of the front door closing filled the room when Lindsey finally spoke up once more. "It was a mistake, Steph." He repeated the same words Carrie had used just a couple of hours earlier... mistake? It was a mistake.
But how could it be a mistake? How can someone accidentally cheat on their spouse?
Mistake just wasn't the right word, not for that situation.
Biting down on her lower lip, her brows wrinkled up and her heart did a little flutter, but not the good kind- the sad kind. "How long?" She had thought about that all the way home, trying to pinpoint when exactly their marriage had fallen apart.
She assumed it was shortly after Allison, probably within the couple of months that had followed her passing. That was the most difficult time for them- the hardest, scariest time, for sure.
Stevie figured that if she had really lost him along the way, it was shortly after that.
Pursing his lips to one side, he leaned forward with his hands clasped in front of him. "It started about a year ago..." he lingered, no longer able to look her in the eye.
He felt terrible, he really, seriously did. He knew, in that very moment that he had let her down... He had let their entire family down for so long, it was almost embarrassing.
His wife deserved better.
"One year...?" She nodded her head softly as she sank back onto the pad of her feet.
She wasn't relieved, that's not what she felt, but she was a little shocked, in a good way, to find out that it hadn't been nearly as long as she had originally thought.
A year was bad, but not really catastrophic.
"I'm so sorry, baby." His voice was soft as he pushed himself up off the couch to trail towards her.
Shaking her head, she held up a hand to stop him. "Don't call me that." She mumbled, bottom lip trembling from the built up nerves that had taken over.
"It was such a difficult time for us-"
"I can't do this anymore." She couldn't listen to him make up pathetic excuses... She didn't care. "I've tried so hard the last couple of weeks to fix this shit show that we've called life, just to find out that you've been screwing the nanny." Stevie was starting to feel stupid.
How could she not have noticed it? How could she have been so oblivious to the fact that her husband had wandered... She felt like she should have known that all the late night studio trips and long days at work weren't legit.
But she was too caught up in her own grief and sadness, she hadn't even taken into consideration that Lindsey might have been finding different coping mechanisms and that's what hurt the most.
"It ended as soon as we started working this out, Stevie." He knew that there was no good excuse- he had done the wrong thing, but he didn't want that to ruin what they had shared... Stevie was the only woman he'd ever really loved.
Biting down on the inside of her cheek, she shrugged a shoulder. "If you don't want to leave, then I'll go stay with my parents." She didn't want to be around him, no matter how many times he apologized, or how many different excuses he came up with.
She could hardly even look at him, that's how upset she was.
Lindsey's stomach twisted into tight knots as his eyes fell. "I'll go." He assured with a subtle nod.
"I'm sure Carrie has room at her apartment for you." Stevie added in a soft voice.
