"It's okay, angel." She whispered as she rocked the baby in her arms slowly. "Shhh, please." Karen left a soft kiss on Clancy's temple as she swayed back and forth, trying to soothe her.
She had been upset for almost half an hour, since the sound of loud yelling at erupted between her parents in the other room that is.
"Why don't they just stop?" Lola whispered, staring at the cartoons on the television as she sat on the living room rug.
"They'll never stop." Crew mumbled, trying to drown it out as best he could.
"The kids were late to school again, Stevie!" Lindsey shouted, eyes wide as he watched her sink back into the kitchen counter. "That's everyday for the last two weeks that I've gotten a call at work about it." Lindsey was so fed up with the excuses, he really was.
"I said, I was sorry, Lindsey!" She wasn't afraid to yell back, not in the absolute slightest. "What else do you want from me?" She held a hand up to her chest as the tears began to fill the brims of her deep brown eyes.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, his hand hit the counter with a loud thud. "I want you to get out of bed before six in the evening and I want the kids to go to school, like normal." He was trying to calm himself down... screaming at each other never got them very far.
Scoffing lightly, she shook her head in disbelief. "Our daughter got hit by a car a month and a half ago and you want us to be 'normal?'" She didn't think, not for a single second that she would ever feel normal again... she was right.
He just stared at her for a moment, shaking his head as he watched her pour herself another glass of wine... that was the second bottle that evening. "If you would have been paying more attention, life wouldn't be like this." His words were as cold as ice, even though his voice was soft and sad.
Without another thought, she reached out immediately, grabbing an orange out of the fruit bowl to throw before the sting of his words even set in completely. "I hate you, Lindsey!" She really felt that way in that moment... She hated him for saying that.
Nodding his head, he shrugged his shoulders. "I feel the same way about you right now..."
~~~
Jumping up in bed, Stevie's hand met her chest as her heart continued to beat a mile a minute. "Oh, my gosh..." she whispered, trying to calm herself down as she rubbed at her sweaty forehead.
"It's okay, Steph." Wrapping his arm around her waist, Lindsey left a soft kiss on her side as his eyes remained closed.
Even through the dark room, Stevie could tell he had moved in closer. "It's been five years today..." she whispered as her hand met the back of his head, lazily.
His heart sank instantly, while his blue eyes opened to pure darkness. "I know, baby." His voice was gentle as he pushed himself up. "It's okay." He repeated, leaning back against the headboard as his hand ran along the small of her back.
With a very deep sigh, Stevie sank back into him, feeling as he wrapped her up in his arms. "I miss her, Lindsey." She had tears streaming down her cheeks as she titled her head to one side to look up at him.
Nodding his head, he left a soft kiss on her temple. "I miss her, too." He missed her more than he even thought possible.
Losing a child is the most unfair thing in the entire world.
Bringing her hand up to his cheek, she slowly ran the pad of her thumb back and forth. "I'm so thankful to have you..." she lingered, biting down on her lower lip lightly.
He felt an instant wave of guilt wash over him as he gave her a subtle squeeze. "You'll always have me, baby." He ran his fingers through her long blonde hair as he kissed her face a couple more times. "Are you okay?" He knew she probably wasn't, but he also wanted to leave the door open to talk about it if she felt the need to.
She thought about it for a second and then her head fell back against his chest. "I'll be okay..." her hand met his, feeling as the tips of his fingers ran across the fabric of her silk nightgown.
~~~
Instead of staying in bed all day, like she usually did when the anniversary of that day came around, Stevie got up early with Lindsey to make the kids breakfast. And she even got out of her pajamas, put on a little makeup and tried not to act as sad as she felt on the inside.
Her other babies deserved to have a good mother too...
"How are you doing, dear?" Setting plates down on the patio table in the backyard, Stevie watched the nanny pour glasses of juice for the kids.
It was just the two of them outside and Clancy, but she was far too distracted with blowing bubbles into the warm morning air to worry about their boring, adult conversation.
Glancing up, Carrie's eyes met the brown orbs for a short second. "I'm alright," she shrugged, not sure if she should really go into anymore detail than she already had... she really didn't want to lose her job.
"Okay..." nodding her head, Stevie decided that she wasn't going to push.
If Carrie didn't want to share, she didn't have to.
"I just know that he isn't happy, and I don't know why he's choosing her over me." She said it so quick, it caught Stevie off guard. "He was different... happier when we were together." She had never told anyone that and she did feel bad that she was venting to Stevie, of all people.
Sighing lightly, Stevie's eyes grew gentle. "It must be so hard loving a man that you have to share." She sympathized as she let off a light nod.
"It's just not fair, ya know?" It hurt, it really did. "He told me that he was going to leave her..." she added as she slouched down into a patio chair in slight defeat. "But it's too hard right now, because they have kids and..." she was really stretching the truth- Lindsey had never, ever said anything about leaving his wife... He never planned to.
Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach as she pulled out a chair to take a seat as well. "Carrie, they never leave." She admitted, almost totally certain of that. "A man won't leave his wife... his wife will leave him first."
