Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at herself with a blank expression, Stevie tried hard to keep the tears a bay. She had snuck in there as soon as Lindsey went to change for the night and nerves instantly took over.
She could remember the last time they had shared a bed. It was almost five years prior, which feels like an eternity in a marriage. It was only a couple of weeks after they had lost Alli and she'd had nightmares like never before.
If she even fell asleep at night, she'd just toss and turn for hours on end, making it impossible for Lindsey to get comfortable. And then, on top of that, many times she'd wake up in a pool of sweat from intense hot flashes, or normal dreams that left her frantic.
It was unbearable, for the both of them, and she was the one that had decided that they could no longer function in the same sleeping quarters.
Of course, through the years, she'd missed him occasionally, but for the most part, their distance made life easier for her in an odd way. If she didn't have to sleep next to him, she didn't have to worry about how their life was just slipping right through the cracks of her fingers.
But she was ready to change that, though it wasn't that simple. She couldn't just flip a switch and be happy, even though she really wanted to.
"You're okay, Stevie." She reminded herself as she slowly slipped out of her dress, letting it hit the tile floor before she stepped out of it. "He's your husband..." she whispered, not exactly sure why she was so nervous all of a sudden.
He had seen her at her absolute worst... Bottom of the barrel, actually. He had been there through all of her life phases and she wasn't sure why she couldn't present herself in the fragile state she was in in that very moment.
He wouldn't have judged her, he never had.
It wasn't until she had changed into her silk white nightgown, took off her makeup and put on her wrinkle cream before she finally pulled open the bathroom door, only to be greeted by emptiness. He wasn't there yet, which gave her enough time to slip into her side of their bed... the bed he hadn't taken up residency in in quite awhile. It was her bed at that point.
"Hey, there." He let off a subtle grin as he stood in the doorway, staring at her intently.
Shifting under the duvet, Stevie returned the smile. "You're so cute." She half giggled, reaching out to pull the blanket back on his side of the bed.
"Well, you're absolutely gorgeous." Pulling his hoodie over his head, he tossed it on the accent couch in the corner of the room.
She watched him climb in next to her and then she turned on her side to shut off her lamp. "I was thinking about taking Clancy to the park tomorrow." She announced as she slipped down further into the blankets, while he worked on getting comfortable only a couple of inches away.
"She'll really like that." Lindsey assured with a soft nod.
It took a moment, but then she slid in a little closer, wrapping one arm around his waist. "I've become the queen of empty promises and it isn't fair to the kids." She mumbled as her head slowly met his chest.
With one arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other hand coming up to her cheek, he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "They know this hasn't been easy for you... for us." He rephrased as his thumb ran up and down the side of her face slowly. "They understand." He was certain of that, to an extent.
