"It's my husband... isn't it?" When those words left her mouth, it felt like the whole world came crashing down around her.
Her body was numb and her eyes stung from the tears that were just over the horizon. She knew the truth before Carrie even said anything... She could feel it.
She could feel the betrayal.
Swallowing hard, the younger woman stood frozen for a long moment as her mind raced to find a suitable answer.
The truth was, she had kind of figured that Stevie would never find out about the affair. She had just hoped that it would be a secret forever... And now that they were there, in that awkward situation, she didn't know what to say.
"No..." shaking her head quickly, Carrie tried to think of a good lie. "I accidentally picked up his coat a couple of days ago and I had totally forgotten to get it back to him." That was so pathetic, it really was.... Probably the stupidest excuse she could have come up with.
And Stevie knew, by the look lingering in those blue eyes that it wasn't true... She hadn't just accidentally picked up his jacket- he had left it there.
Biting down on her lower lip, her eyes burned into Carries. "Don't lie to me." Stevie shook her head lightly as her eyes fell back to the jacket. She wasn't stupid and she wouldn't tolerate being treated as if she were. "I... I don't think we'll need you next week." She stuttered as she dropped the leather coat back onto the chair.
Embarrassed was probably an understatement... Carrie felt horrible- like the worst person in the entire world. "I'm so, so so-"
Holding up a hand, Stevie silenced her immediately. "Don't say that you're sorry when you aren't." Her eyes were so cold, yet also so sad and dark at the same time.
She was devastated, but she wasn't willing to let Carrie see that side of her, not right in that moment. She wanted to be strong, even though her knees felt weak and her emotions were begging to let loose.
"It was a mistake." Carrie's voice cracked as tears streamed down her cheeks. "It didn't mean-"
"I trusted you..." Stevie cut her off once more as she brought one hand up to her chest, only to feel her heart racing. "I trusted you with my kids, in my home.... with my husband!" Her voice had shifted and suddenly a hint of anger washed over her.
She was so mad, but she was even more sad.
Carrie used both hands to wipe away her tears, but they were coming so quick, she couldn't keep up.
"Oh, cut the bullshit..." Stevie waved her other hand, not at all interested in listening to the other woman play victim.
"I..." Carrie was at a loss for words, she really was.
Nothing seemed good enough. Sorry didn't cut it and Stevie could see through any lie.
"I'm leaving now..." She shrugged a shoulder as she turned around slowly to head out.
Watching her boss open the front door, Carrie spoke up again. "I really am sorry, Stevie." She was, because deep down, she knew that she had done the wrong thing, but she couldn't go back in time... She couldn't change what had already happened, even though she wanted to.
Without another word, she slipped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her.
Stevie made it all the way down the steps, across the street and into the car before the tears fell... She broke down.
It felt like the end of the world, and that might sound a little dramatic, but when you've given someone so much of your life and they so easily, so brutally break all the promises they had ever made... that's what it feels like. It feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel and everything you've ever worked for feels like a total scam.
That's how her marriage felt, like a scam.
~~~
It wasn't until noon, three hours after she had left that she finally pulled back down the driveway of their home. It was same home that they had shared for twenty years. The same home that welcomed four new, tiny little babies. And the same home that they had lost one.
She loved that home and everyone and everything inside. But it felt different that morning... It didn't feel as welcoming, or as loving.
It just felt like any other old house.
"Hi, mommy!" Clancy greeted her the moment she stepped into the foyer.
She was sitting on the floor, trying to tie her shoe laces.
Stevie gave her a faint smile as she trailed into the room. "Hi, my angel baby." She had cried all the way home, but reapplied her makeup in the car before she walked in.
She didn't want the kids to see her upset, not after she'd been doing so well staying happy for them.
She wasn't ready to lose herself, not again.
"Where are you doing?" She wondered as she bent down to unzip her boots.
Glancing up with two "bunny ears" in hand, Clancy let out a soft laugh. "Karen is taking us to the zoo to see the Christmas lights." She replied with a toothless little smile.
"That sounds like so much fun." She hung her coat up in the closest, trying hard not to let the little girl hear the way her voice had cracked. "Make sure you stay with Miss Karen, okay?" She added, venturing back through to foyer to get into the living room.
When her eyes found him, she felt this sting... She could have sworn it was her heart breaking.
He was alone, sitting on the sofa, watching the morning news and finishing up a cup of coffee. It seemed like he had no other care in the entire world- like he had nothing else on his mind, all while their marriage flashed right before her eyes.
And suddenly, as she stood completely still with her gaze fixated on the man she had been so in love with, she realized that she had put them in that situation... She felt, deep down, that she was the reason that he no longer loved her.
"There you are." His voice pulled her back into reality as he gave her a soft smile.
Biting down on the inside of her cheek, she nodded her head lightly. "I want you to leave."
