Beautiful Chaos

{part four | chapter two}

 "Lilith," the god breathed and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, one hand cradling the back of her head and the other holding her body close to his. The young woman was too shocked to say anything or react. After a moment, she moved her hands around Loki's torso.

"Loki?"

"Hm?"

"Where are we?" Loki let her go, taking her hand in his and leading her out onto a large, shimmering terrace. The young woman's eyes widened as she gazed out upon the incredible city below.

"We're home."

"Home?"

"My home. Asgard."

"Asgard..." Lilith echoed. She leaned over the balcony's railing to see more of the city. She turned back to the god, awestruck, "I'm on another planet?"

"Yes."

"Oh..." Lilith said, gripping the railing tighter. Loki grabbed her waist, keeping her upright.

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes, Loki, something is very wrong." She pushed herself away from the railing and out of his reach. He followed her inside.

"Darling what's the matter? I thought... I thought you would be happy to see me..."

"I- '' She whipped around to make a snarky comment, but when she saw the expression on his face -brows creased and eyes shining slightly- she hesitated, "I'm not unhappy. But you- you took me away from my family. I was happy there, things were just getting good for me."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

"Not really. I wanted to see you. I... I needed to see you."

"Ha," Lilith scoffed.

"It's true," The god explained desperately, "It's true I swear it. I needed you, Lilith. I needed to be with you. Only being able to see you, to hear your voice... to touch you in dreams. It was torturous. I needed you to be real. I needed you. When the dreams stopped... I thought- I thought something terrible..." his voice faded into silence. Lilith hadn't torn her eyes away from him. He looked ruined. Exhausted, hungry, hurt... scared. As if her legs had a mind of their own, she was moving across the room to him, throwing her arms around his neck as soon as she was close enough. His arms wrapping around her waist, he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," He said, one hand cradling the back of her head, "It's not, I promise. Just my own fears getting the better of me."

"No..." she said, "no. It's nobody's fault. We have no idea what we're doing. We're so scared of all of this. You and me, we'll be okay. I promise. When the dreams stopped..." She stopped. He pulled away from the hug, looking into her eyes, searching for the rest of her sentence.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she continued, "I was scared too. I was so afraid I had lost you forever. I didn't want to admit it out loud. I'm terrified. I'm terrified because I don't just love you in the dreams. I love you in the real world too."

"You are real. And I love you," He whispered, "I love you. Please don't leave me."

Lilith smiled, "I want to stay." The god smiled and leaned in closer, moving his hands from her waist to her face, cupping her cheeks and pulling her in. Their lips brushed only slightly at first, he was hesitant. But when she closed the small gap between them his world burst into colors he had never known. Her lips were soft and she tasted like sugar and raspberries. His teeth grazed her bottom lip and she giggled into the kiss. When they finally pulled apart, she was smiling.

"You know," She started, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"You're going to ruin the moment aren't you?"

"I personally think this makes it better."

"Proceed."

"You know," She began again, "the last time we saw each other in person, you stabbed me."

"Yes, and look at all of the wonderful things that happened because of it." The pair laughed lightly, but the god's expression quickly grew serious. His hands slid from their resting point on Lilith's shoulders down her arms to rest on her hips. She watched his expression as he tentatively brushed his fingertips across the fabric of her shirt, dipping below the hem and making contact with her skin. His touch sent shivers through her. His fingers searched her abdomen, only stopping in their exploration when they found the slightly raised scar that rested four inches to the left of her bellybutton. He lifted the hem of her shirt slightly, revealing the mark. He brushed his thumb against it softly, feeling the texture of it. Lilith's breath hitched in her throat as he continued this motion. She watched as his brow creased, his lips parting slightly and a displeased expression crossed his features. Finally, after what felt like an eternity his eyes met hers again. Guilt and remorse lingered beneath the warm hazel of his irises.

"I did this?" Lilith nodded. Loki placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, her nose, her lips, her chin, her jaw, her cheek, her lips again, "Forgive me."

"You're forgiven," She whispered. They stayed as they were, foreheads resting against each other, eyes closed, wrapped in a gentle embrace. Lilith nearly forgot that she was on another planet, with the god of mischief, her family light years away. None of that seemed to matter. She felt an overwhelming sense of... being home. She had plenty of homes, yes. She found her homes within people. Wanda, Natasha, the Bartons, her father... but this was more intense than that. She had been waiting for this home for a very long time... and now she was finally wrapped up in its embrace. She never wanted to leave.

"There's something I have to tell you." Loki whispered after a while, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed around them.

"What is it?" Lilith asked quietly.

"Aha... I'm sort of... dead?" Lilith's eyes snapped open wide, and she pulled away from the god, everything that had happened within the last hour returning to the front of her mind at full speed. She gaped at the god, incredulous.

"Pardon me?"