A Gentle Disease (Joel Hokka)

(1) Persona

Sonja ~

"You won't amount to anything! Look at you, you're a freak who can't walk!" My mother used to say. Well I had found my freedom when I got accepted into University of Oulu. Having a mild form of cerebral palsy was never an easy thing, ever since a young child. I knew that I was different, that my body would not be able to do fancy flips, or yoga poses and stuff. But I tried to roller skate, jump a skipping rope or something like that. I did work ten times harder to fit, but I felt self conscious due to the fact that I had an unusual gait or walking pattern if you will.

Some people with cerebral palsy had it badly, meaning they were wheelchair bound, but I got lucky that I wasn't like that. But who would want a slow friend? Who would want a friend who fell over constantly? Life felt like hell for me, from college I would have to go Physical Therapy or PT for short, it meant that I had no time to be social , because it was those times. I worked in a record shop, sometimes I enjoyed to go to the cafe and do some homework there, after work on a Saturday.

"Hey Sonja, how was your week?" My boss Patrick asks me.

"Not bad just too exhausted."I said with a sigh, while walking into the stock room and start stacking the CD's and stuff. I mean working at this record company was an escape for me.

I sat on my stool while we had a couple of customers. Pushing around heavy boxes and stacking up CD's and vinyls. This music story was my happy place. No judgment or anything like that.

I plugged my IPhone and Spotify Prenium started playing Never Enough by Epica, while I stacked the things.

I heard the door jingle, but I was too busy. I saw two guys walking: one had black hair with the most striking blue eyes and the other had long curly brown hair with green eyes, I was busy stacking the vinyls and stuff.

"Excuse me? We're looking for an AC/DC album." The brown haired one asks me, I made sure to walk as slow as possible so they wouldn't notice my abnormal gait patterns. They were quite good looking.

"It's right here!" I whispered while I took my time, and began singing along to Simone's voice. While I watched for the boys to finish their browsing. Although they looked familiar, I begin ringing them up.

"Alright have a nice day." I said to the boys, God please don't come back. I thought to myself.

"Wait is your name Sonja?" The black haired one asks me and I nodded.

"Yes it is." I whispered, I didn't really want to be around these guys. They were too good looking, and they would have girlfriends. Why the fuck were they talking to me? A person with a walking disability.

"Oh I'm Niko!" The brown haired one says and then points to his black haired friends, "That's Aleksi." Niko continues.

"It's nice to meet you Sonja, you look like you would be into our music. Although we play violent pop you should come it would be cool." Niko says with a smile.

"No one wants to be friends with a freak!" My inner voice told me, the body dysmorphia was getting the better of me.

"Thank you...But I can't miss work." I whisper trying to find an excuse, to get out of being invited.

"Well in case you change your mind!" Niko says until we heard someone step in. He was the most gorgeous guy I had ever laid eyes upon, tall, shoulder length blonde hair with the most piercing blue eyes. He wore a black hoodie and leather jacket, black ripped jeans and white converse.

"What the fuck is taking so long? We're late and Tommi is getting pissed." The long blonde haired one said.

"Relax dude! We were just talking!" Aleksi says with a smile, while they grabbed their bags and walked out. I looked at the paper sighing. I got it and threw it in the bin.

A girl like me, never ends up with guys like them. I liked my loneliness...I considered myself a lone wolf. Especially I felt really ugly, I hated the way I looked and the way I walked. I didn't want to be rude, so I got the paper out of the bin and put it in my phone.

The boys bid me a goodnight and the three of them shuffled out, I decided to go back and recording the things we did. I began counting up the change and handed it to Patrick.

"Good night Mr Patrick, I'll see you Monday." I whispered. I grabbed my rose gold Beat headphones and I pulled on my black denim jacket, while walking I was blasting Persona by DED.

I began working on my forensic psychology essay, but my mind was distracted by the long haired blonde man, his blue eyes were the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes upon.

"No Sonja! It isn't happening!" I began writing about John Wayne Gacy, he was the killer clown who killed boys, which was fucking insane. He had a crawl space with shallow graves and stuff. Where in the world did people lose their minds like this? It was astounding!

My fingers typed across my white Dell XPS keyboard, I was a decent student. But socially I closed myself off, well I did have a lot on my plate. Physical therapy, a masters program in Forensic Psychology. My dream was either to work with the FBI or Scotland Yard, as a criminal profiler. It would be a sick field.

Although my condition was something that inhibited everything. I cooked some instant pot ramen and I ate that because it was so good.

While grabbing a pair of chopsticks with some heavy metal blasting in my headphones while I continued typing away. Sunday was my day off, so I would get some exercises in and cleaning.. then I would relax all day then.

Honestly it was hard being a person who had a condition like this. My parents and I moved around from country to country, trying to find a cure for this disease.

"Try my life!" I muttered.

A/N: HELLO BC Fans! So I'm attempting to write a Joel story...although he's the only member that I feel intimidates to write about. Because you all write amazing Joel stories!
What do you guys think about the first chapter? Do you think Sonja and Joel will get close? Anyway I'm kind of nervous. Comment your thoughts and concerns! See you on the next one! - MyVictim

Song: Persona (DED)