A Gentle Disease (Joel Hokka)

(16) Into The Hellfire

Sonja

I had been avoiding Joe and Joel like a plague, well fuck what the hell is wrong with me? I wanted Joe to be my daddy, then Joel. Did I want to make him jealous? Maybe...Did I enjoy snogging the hell out of Joe? Hell yes....

I had shared a couple of drunken kisses with Joe, let me tell you he was so good. I think I saw stars. I was exhausted, working and especially trying to get myself together for a winter course, I was planning to take.

"Hey Sonja are you okay? You seem kind of dazed." Patrick asks me, I nodded. Here I was ruminating about my condition, did Joe like me? Is that why he didn't stop me from kissing him? Men are so complicated.

"Uh no just thinking about something." I said with a sigh, I decided to stack the CDs and stuff. Until I heard the door jingle and I saw Joel standing there, his hair done up in a bun and he wore a leather jacket.

"Sonja we need to talk." Joel said, I didn't want to talk about anything with him.

"What do you want Birdboy? I'm busy just trying to get through work here." I said while I got more CDs and stacked them on the shelves.

"What's going on between you and Joe?" He asks me, I sighed. Why the fuck did he care? It's not like I butted into his relationship, if I wanted Joe to have his way with me. That's up to me.

"It's not your business Birdboy, besides I don't butt into your relationship with Freya now do I?" I said while I climbed onto the step ladder, put more CD's up.

"Why do you push me away?" He asks me, I scoffed and climbed down the ladder and faced, the tall blonde haired man.

"I'm not the one who pushes away, you got a fucking girlfriend Joel! Now don't lecture me, if I want Joe that's my choice. Besides I can't sit around and wait for you." I said to him, his blue eyes stare into mine.

"Why ever not?" He asks me, was he delusional?

"Because waiting for you is like waiting for a rainstorm, useless and disappointing." I said, and it was true. Waiting for him was useless and disappointing.

"I can't just break up with her easily Sonja." He said, I sighed and nodded.

"Then stop visiting me, just go away." I said to him, I turned my back to him. I saw another customer come in, I stood near the counter and waited on them.

(The Next Day)

After Joel had visited, I was getting ready for my workout session with Joe. I decided to put on a pair of Fila tracksuit bottoms, a mesh moon phases hoodie with a black sports bra underneath.

I shoved my black hair into a ponytail and put in my jewelled septum ring. I shove my feet into my Veja Nova high tops and walked toward the gym.

Into the Hellfire by Lorna Shore was blasting in my rose gold Beats headphones. I sighed, it was going to be so awkward to face Joe today.

I saw Kyle sitting around, his brown hair was up in a bun.
"Iron Lady!" Kyle said and he rushes over to give me a hug.

"Hello crispy boi. Where's Joe?" I asked him. Joe was finishing up with a client of his, the girl had blonde hair she was hitting on him. What was the point?

I sighed, of course it was too good to be true. First Joel and now Joe, I mean hell why is it that every person I liked viewed me as invisible.

"Are you okay iron lady? You look sad." Kyle said and I nodded.

"Yes I'm fine." I whispered to him, I saw Joe take a step back from the blonde haired woman. He sees me and smiles.

"Iron Lady!" Joe said while he bounds over to me and pulls into a bone crushing hug. I wrapped my arms around him, just letting his arms engulf me.