Sonja Knight is a 23 year old who struggled with a mild form of Cerebral Palsy, always struggled to find her purpose in life. She calls condition 'A Gentle Disease'. Her parents always hard on her and she's finding it hard to fit in.
What happen whe...
I missed my sessions with Joe, so today I was at the gym. I wanted to crush and break my body. Aleksi was getting too close and Joel fucking shattered me.
"Iron Lady let's rock and roll!" Joe says. "Hell yes Beast, let's fuck this shit up!" I said with a laugh.
"Do I need to beat someone up?" Joe asks me and I nodded.
"Perhaps Joel Hokka!" I whispered while we started our warm up, I just wanted my body to be broken todsy. My mum was screaming down the phone at me, I just wanted to get so numb.
After the first few exercises I was feeling a burn and Joe told me to take it easy. But no I kept pushing through it, I just liked the pain. The pain of my body. I was a fool to think that Joel would go for me, a tear streams down my face.
No I couldn't allow myself to be weakened, I must fight my body and urges. The kiss that Joel gave me haunted, then his brunette girl clawing at me. She has been plaguing my mind.
I went for the Romanian deadlifts, I kept lifting until my hips and body was at a place where I was broken.
"Sonja! You need to stop that otherwise you'll injure yourself." Joe says while stopping me and I just couldn't take it anymore.
"Joe this is the only way I can release my pain! No one fucking cares." I said with a sigh, I just wanted the pain to stop.
We got through a couple more exercises and he began giving me mobility stretches. I walked into the gym changing rooms and took a shower, I brought a change of clothes, I stared at my reflection. I hated my body, although I could see abs forming but no change in my posture or walking. They frustration I fucking felt. I felt angry tears, I hated my life.
Why couldn't I have just fucking died? I put on a bralette and underwear and got dressed into:
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I pulled on my shiny Doc Martens and storm out sighiing. Finals were handed in, I just didn't have the energy to deal with Joel or Aleksi. I had my laptop out, the doorbell jingled. I prayed it was none of the Blind Channel boys.
I sighed while I continued working on my PowerPoint presentation final for my Victimology class. Aleksi had been blowing up my phone nonstop, Joel hadn't shown up in a while. I was so sick and tired of everyone, I just did my own thing.
I had no energy...Joel was busy with that brunette and Aleksi had been checking in on me. But I didn't answer because I didn't want to deal with anyone, gosh my body dysmorphia was into overdrive today.
My walking wasn't improving, here I am stuck with my thoughts. A tear streams down my face, but I willed myself not to cry. But it was a crushing blow. I was so focused in my schoolwork.
I looked up and saw the tall slender blonde hair man standing before me.
"Joel please go away! I got nothing to say to you!" I said and turn my back on him.
