A Gentle Disease (Joel Hokka)

(8) Open My Eyes, I'm Reaching For You

Sonja

I woke up on someone's chest with their arms wrapped around my waist tightly, I looked down and saw a black and grey tattooed arm was wrapped around my waist. I looked over at the person sleeping next to me, it was Aleksi. I tried to pull out of his grip, but he tightened it.

"Aleksi!" I whisper trying to wake him up, but he wouldn't budge a muscle, he seemed peaceful which cracked me up. I sighed, and decided to play with his black hair. It was soft and nice to the touch, although when the sun would hit his hair there were some blue tints in it. I tried my best to pull out of his grasp but he kept holding onto me.

I gave up and just snuggled up to him more, Rilla started barking and then Aleksi woke up.

"Five more minutes please Rilla!" Aleksi mutters while burying his face into my neck, which caused me to giggle a little. "Oh good morning Sonja! Hope you slept good." Aleksi says in a raspy morning voice.

"Ah yes...I slept good. Thank you!" I said with a smile, his black hair was all over the place and I laughed and decided to comb it away from his face.

"Sonja? What are you doing?" Aleksi asks me, while I finished smoothing his hair out. He had pulled out my hair out of my ponytail, so I began trying to reach from scrunchie.

"Oi give it back little man!" I said, while I straddled his waist trying to reach for it, I managed to grab and he pulled me toward him. Our faces were so close, I stared at him with wide eyes.

"Oi Mattson what the hell are you doing?" I asked him with a laugh. Aleksi shrugs with a laugh, while we just spoke and had a conversation about random stuff.

Aleksi took Rilla for a walk and I decided to prepare french toast, but not the sweet version but the savoury and salty type. I cracked some eggs and I began beating the eggs with a fork, I saw Aleksi walk in with Rilla. I smiled at them, I got a little bit of butter and threw it on the pan and dipped the white bread into the mix and shoved them into the pan, as they sizzled. I put three for him and two for me. I had this tendency not to overeat because I did not want to look fat.

Especially when I was sitting in front of an attactive man, I figure that it was not a good look to stuff my face like a pig in front of him. We ate in a comfortable silence, once we were done, we placed the plates in the sink. We were still sitting on his island.

"So have you had a boyfriend?" Aleksi asks, while I tried to remember one. Well I almost did, but he was no good for me because he hurt me,

"Well I just don't have the time...Especially who would go for me?" I asked with a laugh, Aleksi's blue eyes looked at me.

"I mean who wouldn't go for you...You're kind, sweet, an iron lady and has an epic personality." Aleksi says while sipping his coffee, his blue eyes staring at me. Well if I had met a man like Aleksi, sure I would go for it. But no...He wouldn't go for me. Well Joel was another story, did you see him? Tall, blue eyes and blonde haired.

"It's just being a person with you know this.." I trail off and gesture to myself and continue, "It's hard to open up to someone, let them in, let them love you because you know I am not normal. I can't give people you know intimacy, it's not that I can't. It's just hard, then loving someone so deeply then they reject you. It just hurts you." I whisper, while sighing and running my hand through my hair.

"I know exactly what you are! You're a beautiful icy cold Scorpio Queen, who can open herself up but is scared too because of the rejection. But Sonja...Remember you're more than your Cerebral Palsy. You're a beautiful individual who has personality and soul to her." Aleksi says while he held my hand, his warm touch meant a lot. I am sure I was blushing.

"Actually Aleksi that is the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me." I whispered with a smile.

"Yes, well it is true Sonja." Aleksi says, while Rilla started barking to get his attention. "Excuse me someone is being a little needy at the moment!" He says with a chuckle. Why would he say those things to me? They weren't true, were they? I decided to join Aleksi and Rilla on the carpet.

"But Aleksi...Who would go for me?" I asked the black haired one, while him and Rilla were playing tug of war, it was so cute. Rilla got tired and eventually trotted over to me, and laid on my lap.

"Seriously Rilla? I feed you, cloth and bathe you and you choose Sonja over me! Jesus even my dog likes you!" Aleksi says with a laugh, while I watched the black haired one's face drop.

"God Aleksi! Stop being so cute!" I said while leaning close to his cheek and placing a sweet peck on his cheek, I saw his pale cheeks turn red. God why was he so cute.

"I mean Sonja....Are you blind? Who wouldn't go for you? First of all, you're beautiful and second of all you have a fun personality and plus animals love you. You have a nice heart. Whoever had you, would be the luckiest man on the planet." Aleksi whispers, I looked at the black haired one. His eyes held an intense emotion, what was it? I didn't understand. But I could see his blue gaze on my green gaze, it was very intense.

"Stop! You're just saying that!" I whispered to him. The room got silent and we could hear Rilla snoring on my lap, which caused Aleksi and I to chuckle.

"Okay that is just too precious!" Aleksi says, while taking his iPhone and filming Rilla asleep on my lap, so fucking precious indeed.

"Oh Sonja, I wouldn't say that to anyone. You really are amazing and Joe is right to call you Iron Lady. You're much stronger than me, much stronger than Joel." Aleksi whispers, while holding my chin and making me look at him.

"You're so damn beautiful, sure you're a broken icy Scorpio Queen.." Aleksi whispers, his blue eyes were twinkling with an emotion. Each word, he uttered hit me in the soul. Did people really think these things about me? Or were they a lie? Aleksi could be lying right? Who know he could.

"Thank you Aleksi! That was really sweet of you." I whispered while wrapping my arms around him, trying my hardest not to wake Rilla. Aleksi and I pulled away from our hug, were both gazing at each other's eyes. Our faces were close, until he clears his throat.

"I'm sorry." I whisper while looking at the dog in my lap, who was peacefully sleeping. I heard Aleksi leave for a moment, I sighed and scolded myself. I knew my feelings were getting the better of me.

Joel

God! What is it about Sonja? The way she can scold me, it made me want to know her more. I knew that she and Aleksi would get along, they truly see eye to eye with everything. But for some reason, there is just something within her that has this shirt.

I decided to mess around with my acoustic guitar and I heard a knock on my door, I saw it was Joonas.

"Porko what's up?" I said while Porko walks in with some beers and we opened a bottle up and started talking.

"So what's up with you man? You seem like you're in deep though lately. Is a girl plaguing Hokka's mind?" Joonas asks, while I took a sip of my Heinken.

"Why yes! But she's the one that I can't seem to crack, I'm trying my hardest to break down her walls, but she always refuses me." I said with sigh.

I watched Joonas smirk.

"Is it Sonja?" Joonas asks me, and I nodded.

"Yes it is her! God Joonas, she's perfect but there's something behind those eyes, sadness and stuff like that. I want to know more of her. But I know she doesn't like." I explain to Joonas.

"Well...Sonja does have some baggage but give her time man! She will come to you, she and Aleksi seem to click." Joonas points out.

Oh true, Sonja and Aleksi did see eye to eye.

A/N: Sorry...Folks I re-edited chapter 8. Do you think that Joel will show his affections to her? What do you want to see happen between Joel and Sonja? Much love - Nantia

Song: Set Me On Fire (Flyleaf)