A Gentle Disease (Joel Hokka)

(14) Lonely Girl

Sonja

It was a rainy day in Finland, I found my Doc Martens hitting the wet pavement after work. I decided to get some Chinese and Whiteclaw. I had been happy that the boys hadn't visited the store.

Well of course Joel's confession about regretting the kiss plagued me. I just fancied a quiet night to myself, laying around eating junk food and some Whiteclaw. A perfect way to spend my Friday evening.

I unlocked my flat door, it was silent but I liked it. I decided to put my food down and I dug into my DVD collection and pulled out a movie called Suite Française.

I had showered and put on a baggy Darkthrone long sleeve top, it's not like anyone would be stopping by away. I set up the movie and grabbed my remote and pressed play.

I had my box of noodles and a Whiteclaw in the flavour of mango. I was so absorbed into the movie, when the Germans occupied France.

Then the chemistry between Lucille and Bruno was one of my favourites. God this movie made me feel so single.

Just as the movie was about to begin, I heard a knock on the door. I groaned pausing the film, while wrapping a blanket around me and I placed my box of noodles down.

I headed toward my door and opened it, I saw a soaking wet Joel standing before me.

"Bird boy what are you doing here?" I whispered, Joel shrugged. His blue eyes looked deep in thought.

"Can I come in please?" Joel asks me and I noddd, letting him in sad we walked toward my living room. He pulls off his leather jacket, I decided to give him a beer or two.

"Why are you here?" I asked the blonde haired man, while he stared at my television.

"You see Freya and I got into a fight, I wasn't in the mood to visit Niko or Joonas. So I figured you were the best option. What are you watching?" He asks me.

"Oh a movie called Suite Française. It's a wartime drama, a forbidden love story if you will." I whispered to the long blonde haired man.

"Whose the extra food for?" Joel asks me.

"Oh just for left overs. If you want you can have some." I said looking at the blonde haired man before and he nods with a smile. Joel kicked his shoes off, and made himself comfortable on my couch, we were also sharing a blanket.

I drank my white claw and munched away on our food, while we watched the passionate love affair of Lucille and Bruno unfold in front of our eyes on screen. I sighed, I found myself glancing at Joel.

You know Joel was my Bruno, he was like the forbidden officer in this story.

"Do you think they seriously loved each other? Like he played the piano for her?" Joel asks me and I shrugged.

"I guess they loved each other..." I whispered, I found myself snuggling up to Joel. It was getting to the sad part, the part where Bruno and Lucille shared their first kiss, how he tells her that he has nothing in common with people around him...Only her.

Out in front of the Germans, after the execution of the town's leader. The intense emotion Bruno and Lucille held, I had my face buried in Joel's chest while I felt the tears stream down my face.

I wished I could have a love like that, a love that someone would do anything for me. I found myself sniffing.

My heart broke, he regretted our kiss and here I felt tears stream down my face. God stupid emotions! I liked being in his arms, I felt Joel's arms tighten around me, I buried my face in his chest. I inhaled his cologne and his scent, we laid on the couch in each other's arms.

"Are you crying Sonja?" Joel whispers, while his tattooed hand cups my face and he wiped away my tears.

"No of course not! It's that stupid movie, makes me so damn emotional all the time." I whispered to him, Joel looks at me and cups my cheek.

"Has anyone told you how beautiful you look now?" Joel whispers and I shook my head no. This man is taken, I shouldn't be close to him like this.

The movie credits were rolling by, while Joel and I laid side by side, enjoying each other's company.

"You're just saying that because you have to." I whispered, while my black hair fell into my face and he smoothes it away from my face.

"Sonja I don't regret kissing you. It's just so complex...I don't know where my head and heart is." Joel whispers while cupping my face in his hand.

I nodded, looking into his blue eyes and sighed.

"Listen I can't be your second best. I can't be your fucking puppet that you drag around. Either you want this or not." I whispered and sighed.

"Sonja you intrigue me." Joel whispers, while cupping my chin and I sighed.

"But you aren't interested in me! Like I am with you." I whispered, another rejection would be hitting me soon.

"That's not true! You assume that." I said. We both stared at each other, he pulls me closer to him and leans down to place a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm done with Freya! I like you Sonja a lot, but you'll regret this." Joel whispers, while our faces were so close.

"Then show me you care." I whispered to him, he carresses my cheek, his thumb grazes my lips.  I was falling asleep on Joel's chest, I felt him scoop me up bridal style and carry me toward my room.

Joel

"Then show me you care!" Sonja said to me while I carresses her cheek and my thumb traces her plump lips. The black haired girl looked at me, she was falling asleep and I scoop her up bridal style and carry her to her room.

I was about to leave until I felt a hand on my wrist, it was Sonja.

"Can you please stay the night? I don't want to be alone." She whispers and I nodded. I stripped out of my jeans and shirt. She scoots over to make room for me on her Queen sized bed.

Her green eyes looking into my blue eyes, she bit her lip moving closer to me and snuggled up to me.

"Joel I wish you would notice me." She whispers muffled against my chest, I looked down at the black haired girl who was knocked out on my chest. I begin to smile at how peaceful she looks, I found my fingers running through her shiny black hair. My heart was beating out of my chest, the feelings she was making me feel.

God...I think I was falling for this woman. But she wasn't like the others, it made her more intriguing and the more I wanted her.

I found myself getting comfortable, this is the first time that my ADHD was at ease, her presence made me feel at ease. I knew that she would be the one eventually. The more I saw Sonja, the more I wanted to know her.

"God you've bewitched me Sonja, I hope you know that!" I whispered to the sleeping black haired girl and I placed a peck on her lips. I got comfortable and pulled her body close to mine, entangling our legs together and fell asleep.

A/N: Re-edited chapter. I thought we needed some cute Joel and Sonja moments... Suite Française is one of my favourite movies. What do you think about this moment with Joel and Sonja? Do you think he has feelings for her or is he stringing her along? Comment and share your thoughts! Love hearing your thoughts! - Nantia

Song: Lonely Girl by Tonight Alive