A Gentle Disease (Joel Hokka)

(12) Is it always my fault I end up alone?

Sonja

(A Week Later)

I called out of work today, I was feeling in extreme pain. I got a couple of grades back on my papers and I managed to get A's. I just submitted my PowerPoint for Victimology class, because we would have to present it next week.

I've been extremely tired with all the emotions and stuff. So I slept in, thankfully Aleksi and Joel haven't been in touch with me. They've been busy with band stuff.

I ran my hand through my wet black hair, I sat up on my black sheets dressed in a massive oversized Metallica hoodie and nothing else.

I was reading Neferet's Curse by P.C. and Kristin Cast. I was absorbed by this book, her father was abusive toward her, mailing her the lady of the house once her mother passed away. My iPhone dinged.

Aleksi: Where are you Sonja? Are you okay?

I sighed, I didn't want to deal with anyone. Not even Aleksi, Olli, Niko, Tommi, Joonas nor Joel. Well joel hadn't been to the shop from what Patrick told me. I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

I padded out of my room and headed toward the living room, carrying my book with me and I placed it down onto the wooden table. I decided to have some tea, I got my electric kettle and filled it up and put it on.

I searched through my assortment of teas, I decided on black tea and made it, I got my favorite mug out and decided to shove the tea bag in there. I made a little sandwich and I walked toward my living room and sat down on my leather couch.

I was munching on my sandwich, I looked at my wrist I had never been bullied. I always kept to myself but someone's girlfriend terrorising me was the first thing. Did Aleksi like me? Why was he so attentive with me? Why was he the one that I crawled to when I was losing it?

What about Joel? Well...Joel was out of the question now. He's busy with Freya, his girlfriend. I remember when she jumped me in the bathroom. I found myself zoning out until I heard a knock on my door.

I tiptoe to my door and look through the peephole, I saw Aleksi and Olli standing there. No why are they here? Please go away...
"I guess she's not home!" I heard Olli mumble. They left thank goodness.

I rushed into my bedroom and put on my black high waisted ripped skinny jeans, a black crop top with my favorite Foxblood white and black stripy cardigan. I put on a my favorite Crystal amulet necklace , with my black Swarovski Crystal choker. An evil eye bracelet, been told by my mother that's a good way to ward off the envious eye.

I had an addiction with T.U.K creepers, so I decided to wear my black velvet mondo creepers. I put on a black beanie and I did my winged liner, with primal by Tom Ford. I sprayed some Black Opium and I was out.

The cool crisp air felt good, I liked it. Sometimes the solitude of my loneliness was my favorite, it helped me reflect on things. My black hair blew in the gentle breeze. Constant stares from people, but who gives a damn? Today I was numbly emotionally that I was over it.

I approached a bench, autumn was my favorite season, the way the green leaves turned a beautiful orange, with some reds mixed in. There was a beauty about this season. The smell of pumpkin spice, cinnamon and cloves. The leaves crunching underneath me, it was just an escape.

There was a tree which had a wooden swing, I decided to take off my rucksack and put it near the tree and swung. I felt carefree, and just felt a little smile on my lips. I just hoped no one found me.

I sat and looked around sighing, I decided to go to a cafe and got my laptop out, I was watching something while sipping my regular old Matcha latte. Until I heard a rowdy bunch of boys, I saw Aleksi, Joonas, Niko and Olli sitting there. Joel was sitting with his brunette girlfriend Freya. FUCK!