Marvel x Reader Oneshots

Steve x Reader: not enough

A/N you're an Avenger in this! Right from the start, Fury recruited you along the others because he thought you had potential.

I'm feeling rather angsty atm so here you go: feel with me

trigger warnings: self doubt

_____________________________________

It was leg day. You hated leg day.
But you did your workout anyways, because who would want an Avenger with scrawny legs?

"Uhg, come on," you groaned, pushing your shaky legs up once more. You could lift your own weight with only your legs now, which was rather impressive, but it still wasn't good enough for you. You tried to lift 10kg more this time, although you shouldn't considering that you were alone in the gym and working on a constraption that you couldn't get off of if you couldn't lift the weight. You somehow managed to lift the weight but right as you strechted your legs, you felt yourself weaken. Your legs began to give up on you - "Oh no, no, no, no," You mumbled trying your best to keep the weight up, which seemed impossible at the moment.

"Fuck!" You yelled, right as your legs completely gave up on you and the weight squished you.

"Wow, easy there" - You hadn't even heard Steve enter the room. The supersoldier lifted the weight with ease.

"Thank you," you breathed. Yours legs were shaking, your whole body trembling. You really pushed yourself to far this time. But being you, you would never admit that.

"You know you shouldn't do this alone, right? You're lucky I came here to get some stuff"

"Oh yeah, everyone thank Captain America, supersoldier and savior of us all," you replied sarcastically. It wasn't fair to let your feelings out on Steve but you couldn't help it. You weren't good enough for them, you knew that. Right from the start you knew that you would never be good enough, that you would never live up to their expectations, but how could you? These people were magicians and soldiers and assasins. You were just - well, you.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, offering you a hand to steady yourself while you got off of the constraption that almost sealed your fate.

"Nothing." You forced a smile, but your legs refused to give you the strength to stand up.

"Y/N.."

"I'm fine. I just thought I was better than I actually am - turns out, I'm not." You forced yourself to stand, ignoring the hot pain that ran through your legs and up your spine. You felt satisfyed that you could at least walk out and away from this situation, but you got your hopes up for nothing because as you tried to take a step, you just stumbled and almost got the chance to kiss the floor. Luckily Steve caught you before you could actually fall.

"That's it," Steve mumbled picking you up. Before you realized what was happening, Steve was halfway to the elevator. Since you couldn't do much about it, you let Steve carry you to your room - although it was rather embarrasing. Luckily no one saw you two.

Steve sat you down on your bed and turned to walk away. Good, you weren't in the mood for further socializing. But you got your hopes up for nothing again, because Steve only closed the door and walked right back to you, sitting down next to you.

"Will you tell me what's wrong now?" His voice was soft. Too soft. Was he pitying you now? That was the last thing you wanted. You knew these thoughts you had were stupid and not necessary at all, but you couldn't help it. They were getting bigger and bigger with each day that passed and you were slowly starting to believe them more and more.

not good enough for them

not enough in general

you're not one of them

never truly were - or will ever be

"I need you to leave." Your voice was barely audible. You knew if he wouldn't do as you asked, you would break down any second. You were dying to tell someone, especially Steve, how you feel. But you just couldn't. How would you tell your friends that you felt horrible because of them?

"Y/N, I'm not going to leave you like this," Steve said. You felt his eyes on you but you didn't dare to look at him. Your hands seemed very interesting for some reason. Maybe it was time to paint your nails again. You hadn't done that in forever..

"I'm not going to leave," Steve said again.

"I'm serious, Steve. Please just-" Your sentence was interrupted by a sob leaving your mouth. "I'm sorry.." You breathed, covering your face with your hands.

"Hey, hey... it's okay," Steve said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you towards him. His other hand reached up and around you to gently rub your back.

"Tell me what's wrong," Steve said again.

"I am." You mumbled. You couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What?"

"It's me Steve, I am wrong. I am not enough, I never was and I never will be. I'm not a supersoldier, I'm not the worlds greatest spy or assasin, I'm not super smart or americas ass," You laughed unironically. "I'm me. Not strong, not smart, not fast, not enough."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but you interrupted him.

"I know what you're going to say: Don't say that, that's not true ecetera.. but it is. I don't feel like I'm enough. I know that all of you could acomplish the same without me. I'm not necessary, not truly. I don't-"

You for sure weren't done but Steve interrupted you this time.

"I will not let you talk yourself down like this. I am glad you're expressing how you're feeling, but I will not listen to this bullshit. God, Y/N, do you really think like this? Do you truly believe this?"

Steve was cursing, this wasn't going to end well.

"You are enough, Y/N. Of all things, this is what you are worried about? You are smarter than anyone I know - don't give me that look, I'm not talking about smart like Bruce or Tony, I'm talking about world-smart and people-smart. No one knows so much about life, has such advise that you give all of us all the time or can read a person like you can, not even Wanda. No one I know has a heart like you do, no one knows me like you do. You are more than enough, Y/N. You are to me, to all of us.."

You didn't know what to say to this. How could you tell him that he was wrong when he looked at you like a damn lost puppy? His eyes held nothing but desperation in them. Desperation for you to believe him, for you to feel better, to be okay.

"You are beautiful, inside and out. You are so strong, so loving. I am so grateful to have you in my life, love."

"I-I.. I'm sorry." You said, still not knowing how to process this. Of course his words wouldn't just erase your feelings, wouldn't make the pain go away instantly, but hearing those things about you did make it a little easier. A little less hurtful. Maybe he just said them to make you feel better, maybe he truly meant them, maybe they were even true. Whatever the case was: they were helping.

"There's no need for that, Y/N. We all doubt ourselves all the time. Just- just know that whenever it gets to much, you can always come and talk to me. Always." Steve grabbed your hand with his free one, the other was still wrapped around your shoulder.

"Thank you, Steve. I mean it" You tried to shift more towards him, but it seemed like your legs were still not functioning right. Steve noticed that and said: "You don't have to prove yourself to anyone here, Y/N."

"I was trying to prove it to myself actually." You winced as you finally managed to shift into a more comfortable position. "I will not try that again though." You laughed lightly.

"Good to know." Steve smiled at you. "You can consider myself as your new workout buddy from now on," He added. "So you don't have to go through that ever again. Or at least not alone."

"I don't deserve you." You halfjoked and laughed with Steve.

- 1405 words

A/N please let me know how you find these oneshots! And remember that my dms are always open for anything, especially ideas/ requests ;)