I Was Born Sick But I Love It

Goodbye

Packing my bags, twins on my bed asleep, the moon shining and stars twinkling, our house quiet, my body bruised.

Memories flooding in my head of my childhood, of when our family actually used to be a family, not many memories in total, but enough for me to realize I will miss this place like no other.

No matter the abuse, no matter the night of crying, no matter the night of despair I went through, this home will be stitched into my heart for eternity, and I beg I can remove it someday.

Some might say I fell in love with the wrong person, but even now, I know I didn't fall in love with the wrong person, I fell in love with him at the wrong time. Maybe if we would have been twenty, and we were legal, everything would have been alright. Or if we were born twenty years later, where everyone is accepted, we would be fine.

But sadly, it didn't happen that way.

And we have to accept it.

Saying my last goodbyes, to my room that would be a safe haven for me, the twins sleeping bodies on my bed, cuddled under the sheets, tired tears dried on their cheeks, I will never forgive myself for leaving them, but I have to.

I'm not just doing this for Harry, I'm doing this for me.

I grab my bag and kiss the girls foreheads, letting myself indulge in them for just a few more slow moments before pulling away, the knot in my throat growing as every second passes by.

"I love you two, never forget that. And I will come back to you one day, that's my promise to you. I love you so much, please don't forget me." My voice chokes up as the tears in my eyes spill. I have to leave.

I stand up and take a few moments to collect myself, grabbing my bag, phone, wallet, charger, and pen and paper.

I go to my desk and write whatever comes to mind, it's all such a blur. If you asked me what I wrote, I'd have no clue.

As I finally finish, I stand up and walk out of my bedroom, taking one more glance and leaving.

I tiptoe down the stairs and don't even look back as I slowly open the door and leave this place, and start my new beginning.