What If?

.12.

I spent the rest of the weekend on my own. I didn't want to see anyone or speak to anyone either, I know Mila tried her luck a few times and I love her for it but I wasn't ready to be pulled back into that level of drama again
Now it was Monday morning again and it was time for class, something I knew I couldn't escape and to my dismay I remembered who my partner was
As I walked in I could see Jess glaring in my direction again while James looked at me a little hopeful. Probably glad I had turned up

"Hey you" Mila said hugging me tightly, I smiled at her as we pulled a part
"Alright class let's begin with Group A!" Leon called, luckily that was not my group so I could have time to prepare
"Can we talk?" James asked and I shook my head walking away from him to stretch
"You good?" Kieran asked coming and sitting with me
"Peachy" I replied with a sarcastic laugh
"He's a douche" He said nudging me making me laugh lightly
"I just don't understand his problem" I replied and Kieran put his head in his hands
"I want to say it's complicated but I'm sick of him using that excuse" Kieran confessed
"I think he just needs to sort himself out to be honest. He can't expect you to be waiting around for him" He said and I looked at him confused
"What do you mean waiting around? We are friends, well I guess it's not were" I corrected myself
"He hasn't even spoken to you? Fucking coward" Kieran cursed only making me more and more confused
"Group B!" Leon called before I could reply, this was my group.. 
I walk over to the back only for James to come next to me to start the routine
"Can we talk now?" He asked as he spun me
"No" I replied trying hard to focus on the routine
"I'm sorry okay Nat, please just talk to me" He said dipping me
"Apparently there is a lot we were meant to talk about" I replied jumping
"What?" He asked catching me and spinning
"Nothing" I mumbled finally out of his arms
"Look can we talk on the rooftop tonight. Just us" He asked 
"Maybe I have plans with Freddie" I said as I looked up at him in the position he held me
"Don't say that" He said lifting me to my feet again. I glanced over to see Jess watching us like a hawk
"I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate us meeting tonight" I replied making him look the way I was 
"She isn't my girlfriend. I didn't mean what I said on the roof the other night" he said and I scoffed as I continued to spin into a jump
"Can you please think about it?" He asked as we finished the routine ending up face to face
In his face I could see the hope and the worry in his eyes. I didn't want to cave but I could feel myself beginning to already
"I'll think about it" I replied bowing my head moving away

Mila and I had booked a studio that afternoon to work on some of our Hip Hop sections. She wasn't that fluent in this style, kind of how I am with Pointe
"Okay but from here, how do I get to here" She said doing separate moves
"Jump" I laughed showing her
She looked at me like I was from the moon before we both burst out laughing
"Okay okay" She said as I went to play the music so we could do a run through
"And 5,6,7,8" I called as we both started
"Ha Ha Ha ooo" Mila yelled doing her usual dance noises
Everyone has their way of keeping their counts. I use the numbers, Mila the boys and Ashley yell random shit and I think Kelsie and Jess somehow manage without
"Boom! Got it in two!" She yelled running over to me allowing me to catch

"I fell like it's been forever since we probably spoke" She said laying in her stomach in the studio while we took a break
"I know, there has been a lot going on with Team Practice" I replied and she rolled her eyes
"and you know, James and Jess drama" She chuckled
"Mm something like that" I replied
"What are you going to do about it?" She asked looking at me hoping for some intel
"I have no idea. I don't even know what is going on myself" I replied
"Well it's obvious he likes you. You should have seen him when he saw you walk out with the guy, I was certain he was going to beat him" Mila laughed making me roll my eyes
"I don't know why, he has Jess on his arm nonstop and I don't bat an eye lid" I answered making Mila not
"Yeah but the difference is he likes you, not Jess" she said
"Do you like him?" She then asked and I looked away not really knowing how to reply

James and I have been pretty close since day 1, I think that every night on the rooftop just made us closer. Then we became partners and got onto the Team. There was no time we weren't together 
Have we just grown to be used to each other around or have we grown to like each other?
I won't lie, the last few days not being able to speak to him how we usually would, not spending our evenings on the rooftop throwing crisps at each other has been a real shock to my system and I've felt like something has been missing
Am I missing James? Or am I missing the company? 
Surely if I had just been missing the company I would have opened the door when Mila knocked, I would have tried to hang out with others 
But it wasn't James
If he had coming knocking on my door best believe I would have probably opened it 
I don't like how everything has turned this complicated, why couldn't things just runs it's course with out the drama of Jess or the jealousy of Freddie
Why can't we just be simple and admit how we feel..

"Yeah.. I think I do" I muttered to myself only making Mila squeal with joy