What If?

.21.

We were all up early that morning, we wanted to spend as much time on the stage as we could. Our finals routine we have prepared was out of a lot of our comfort zones but they seem to trust my judgment enough to take that leap
Before we continue, in came Beth and her team
"Your time is up" She growled earning a look from all of us
"Good thing we are done then" I said as we all got off the stage.
As i walked past them all I couldn't help but notice two of the boys. My boys from back home
"Hey Nee" Mason said hugging me before Lewis got the chance to. I could feel my teams eyes looking at us
"Hey guys" I replied giving Lewis his hug, the rest of the team move to my side as we pulled away
"Guys this is Lewis and Mason, some of my closest friends. Guys this is James, Kieran, Caiden Neil, Joe, Ellie, Kelly, Annabelle and Jodie" I smiled introducing them all
"nice to meet you man" James smiled making Mason smirk and look at Lewis before earning an eye roll from me
"You guys poached our best dancer" Lewis chuckled making them laugh
"hey she came on her own free will" Caiden replied making the boys smile at me
"That's because we all know that Nee was going to be the only one who got out of our shitty town" Mason smiled 
"Hey, your here aren't you" I reminded him
"you know what we mean Nee" Lewis replied and I sighed
"It's lovely to see you though. When you come home for summer, we will have to catch up! Looks like we have a lot to talk about" Mason said before looking at James again
I smiled at the boys once more before giving them a hug and going out separate ways
Those boys are one of the reasons I danced. I could and probably would have given up ages ago when I struggled a little mentally. But they were there
They were there when I thought I had no one

"Okay so remember, messy isn't a bad thing" I said as I stood in the wings with the girls. I glanced over to see Beth stood on stage with her team
"The Pittsburgh Dance World scored 92 points! Putting them in first place" The host said allowing the team to cheer and walk off. It was a new day which meant the scores had reset to 0 and none of us get an advantage on the last day. All we need is better then 92 to be in the finals. But it means we'll be facing my old team head on
"Next we have The New York Academy! Please Welcome, Ellie, Natalie, Jodie, Kelly and Anabelle" the host yelled causing the crowd to cheer as we walked on stage 

That was it, we had done or best on that stage and I couldn't have been more satisfied how that turned out! We hit everything! The crowd loved it, It was perfect
"The New York Academy scores 98 points putting them in first place! Meaning they will face Pittsburgh Dance World in the final in an hour!" The host yelled making everyone go wild

We ran off stage and started jumping around, none of us knew we had that in us, but nether the less we did and it worked in our favour
"You girls were awesome" Caiden gleamed as we met all the boys in our dressing room. Caiden instantly hugged Ellie while James did the same to me
"You guys smashed it" Kieran said making us all smile
"we would not have been able to do that without Natalie, that is for sure" Ellie said grabbing my hand and giving it a little shake
"hey, we all worked on that together" I smiled
"i can't believe we are actually through to the final" Jodie squealed making us all laugh
"We've been thinking" Caiden said making us all smile
"We want James and Natalie to be the dancers up front" Ellie said making me look at Caiden before looking at James
"Why?" I asked, that had been Ellie and Caiden's spot. Yes me and James were the ones who choregraphed this routine but it was meant for them
"we just know you two will smash it, you deserve the lime light" Caiden smiled

We were all ready, we were ready to win, we were ready to finally get past nationals
I look around and I can see everyone with so much hope and nerves on their face, but I know we have this
Pittsburgh just went and now it was our turn. Ellie, Annabelle and I took the stage in our starting position
"Please welcome for the final time. The New York Academy" The host called allowing the curtain to be raised and our music to start

I looked next to me to see James there breathless. Everyone used all the energy and power they had left and put it all into this routine and it truly showed
"That was fucking awesome" James cursed making me laugh, we all huddled together as Pittsburgh came back on stage too for the final winner to be crowed 

I looked down the line to see Beth looking as cocky as usual while my whole team had gotten this brand new level of confidence that nothing could shake
"And the Winner of the 2021 Nationals is...." The host started. I took James' hands and Kieran's giving them a tight squeeze
"The New York Academy!" The Host yelled making us all scream as we all started to jump about, I instantly jumped into James' arms crashing our lips together
"We did!" He yelled hugging me tightly
"Yeah we did" I said hugging him closer, soon the whole time were in a massive huddle as the judge handed us the trophy
It was real.. We had really won

--

The team and I were stood in front of the stage talking to some of our family and friends that had showed up. Megan and John were here but sadly had to leave
"We won this because of you" Caiden said coming over and hugging me, I chuckled patting his back
"Stop saying that, it was group effort" I laughed
"Nellie" A voice whispered causing Caiden and I to look in their direction
There stood the one person I didn't think I would see here
"Mum?" I asked causing Caiden's eyes to wide. He took a step back probably realising this wasn't going to be an easy conversation

"what are you doing here?" I asked
"I've been here since the competition started. Baby I had no idea what you were capable of" She whispered taking a step closer taken my hand in her, I moved away
"Why are you here?" I asked
"you and Dad made it very clear how you felt" I said, she looked at me with a little hope. I could feel Caiden and James looking over so I looked at them before returning to my mum
"I just wanted to see you" she answered
"but why? You sat there and you let him destroy the entire family. You walked away with him" I said letting a tear fall
"Do you know how much I wanted you to stand up to him, to fight for your kids" I cried
"Nellie" She whispered but I shook my head
"you don't get to call me that. You don't have the right anymore.." I said before finally giving in and running out of the unit.. I couldn't do this 

All I've wanted for the last 2 months if for her to come back, with or without him.. I wanted my mum more then she will ever know
But now? now she comes back when she can see I'm doing well. When she can see how much I'm accomplishing without her..
What is up with that
"Hey hey hey" James said as he came running after me, he brought me into his arms instantly.. I just stood there frozen crying into his chest
"It's okay Nat, it's okay" He replied stroking my hair while still placing an odd kiss on my head while I just stood there crying