What If?

.8.

I don't know how I'm feeling about this at all, my heart is racing as we walk up to the front door
I silence my phone so that I don't get anything from New York. The last thing I want is for a text to give up the whole secret
"Natalie! John!" Mum cooed as soon as she opened the front door Friday evening, we arrived at maybe 6pm? Just in time for dinner
"Hey mum" I smiled as she hugged me
She ushered us all in pretty swiftly practically pushing us into the living room. As soon as stepped foot inside our eyes landed on Megan.. There she was in the flesh
"Meg" I smiled rushing over to hug her, it feels like years since I last saw her
"Hey Nat" She smiled hugging me before turning to John for a hug. We had all settled before we noticed there was another bloke in the room
I turned to him and looked at him confused on who he was
"Our Megan has some news" Dad said proudly, what on earth could it be this time
"We are engaged" she smiled before placing one hand on the mystery mans knee while the other flaunted the ring
"Holy fuck" John cursed earning a grumble from my dad
"What? since when?" I asked taking her hand
"Last month, Jacob asked me when we were on a date" She said smiling at the guy next to her
"and I assume you are Jacob?" John asked making us all chuckle while he nodded
"Nice to meet you man" John said offering him his hand
"Congratulations" I said hugging Megan once more

I can't believe it, Megan is getting married. She never pegged me as the one who would want to settle down. God I remember her rebel days when she would break any rules mum and dad ever put down for us
"Hey Nattie" Megan said coming out into the garden to join us
"Hey Meggie" I replied using our childhood nicknames
"How is New Jersey with John?" She asked and I smiled
"It's amazing. I have a question for you but I want it to stay between us kay?" I asked and she nodded taking a sip of her wine
"Did you ever get into The New York Academy?" I asked, she looked at me after almost choking on her wine
"How did you?" she whispered
"You did, why didn't you go?" I asked and she sighed
"Natalie, I always wanted to go but in truth I lost that passion I had for it" She sighed
"But why? What happened?" I asked 
"Honestly? i don't know, just one day, I woke up and then the want to do it just left" She said
"Do you not miss it?" I asked and she nods
"All the time, but it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. Dad's plan worked for me but I don't think it'll work for you Nat" she said looking at me with a sincere look in her eye
"I wish you had taken that spot in New York. I wish you fought harder with dad to get what you wanted" She mumbled
Was I in a position to tell her? Or was this all a trap
"When I heard that John had let you with him him, I had hoped it was a decoy but from what we've spoken about with mum and dad. I truly think you've given up" She said
"And it's a shame because if anyone was going to make it in that way, it was always going to be you" She continued
"I haven't given up" I said knowing I was already talking too much
"What" She asked
"I'm doing exactly what you thought I was.. mum and dad don't know and I'm begging you Meg" I started before she interrupted
"I won't tell, under on condition" She said smiling
"You dance for the both of us" She said making me run into her arms. 
I had both siblings backing me, hopefully that shines a light for next year? but who knows with my parents

"Get up! We're going shopping" Megan said coming into my room hitting me over the head with my pillow
"Fuck Meg really!" I yelled making her laugh
"Well since we have you this weekend. We need to get your dress" She said making me roll my eyes

Walking into the wedding shop with my mum and Megan felt so strange. It was as if it was a dream
"So what is the theme?" Mum asked turning to Megan
"So it's Dusk Pink and Navy blue. Our favourite colours" Megan said looking around
"The plan is the groomsmen will have a Navy blue tie as the Maid of honour has Navy blue. Whilst the bridesmaids have the dusk pink with the Best man" She smiled looking through the dresses
"And Natalie!" Megan said poking her head around
"I want you to find the best Navy Blue dress this place has! I want it flowy, I want it perfect" she said making me stare at her in disbelief
"Are you saying?" I asked and she nodded
"Will you be my maid of honour?" she said making me pounce on her with a smile
"Of course I will" I giggled before rushing off looking

We had been here for too long, my feet were hurting and I was getting bored of trying of dresses
"I don't like that one" I groaned coming out in the poofiest dress you could imagine
"Yeah that aint it" Megan laughed drinking some more champagne 
"I give up" I sighed sitting down on the dress, Megan looked at me and chuckled
"give me 5 minutes" She whispered disappearing. Mum had been the one to pick our most of these and as much as I love that woman, she has a certain taste in clothing and I was not a fan, I don't think Meg was a fan either 
"Try this one" She said holding up a satin Navy Blue dress, it looked gorgeous on the hanger but we all know that it can look different on a person
I smiled taking it into the fitting room getting out of this monster of a dress
The dress that Meg had picked out was gorgeous, it fit me perfectly and I felt pretty in it. That takes a lot and is a lot to ask for in clothing
"What's taking you so long Nattie" Meg said getting impatient
"I think this is the one" I smiled before opening the curtain
"Woah" Mum muttered
"That most certainly is the one" Meg smiled coming over to the mirror with me to look at it in all it's glory. It had a small train which Megan seemed to love, I loved the back on it, it was open and gorgeous. I was in love
"Looks like we have one thing checked off of the list then!" Meg said with glee. This still does not feel real

First time anyone has ever asked me to be a Maid Of Honour. I hope you know what you are getting yourself into @MegannPhillips. 
Cannot wait for the Phillips Anderson Wedding coming this summer <3