Windows To The Heart

Just another day/Page 26

A newswoman appears on the TV screen, "In recent news, Mexican-American multimillionaire Carlos Martinez has been killed, alongside his wife and son in their house. The local fire chief said in a statement earlier today, that 'the house was intentionally set on fire late in the evening', the suspect, investigators are saying, the family's catgirl maid, whose identity is now being revealed as unit, M-97491. The local police department released information in a news conference today showing 'circumstantial evidence' that strongly implies the family's catgirl maid is responsible. Authorities say 97491 'started a fire in the family's living room and main hallway, this was done by pouring gasoline at vital choke points throughout the family's house, the suspect then lit the fireplace located in the living room, igniting the gasoline. The suspect also seemed to have cut the power in the house from a centrally located fuse box, which stopped wire-based fire alarms from going off, and sealed windows shut to prevent ease of escape'. Authorities say that the gasoline jug suspected as being the cause of the fire was found some yards away from the house, on Mr. Martinez's backyard, the jug contained only one set of fingerprints, which were identified as that of the family's catgirl maid, 'further showing that it was the only one capable of committing the act', said police, authorities are also saying 'Mr. Martinez and his wife died in their room', they also later revealed in the same news conference that, 'their son, Lucas, and the suspect were both found in the ocean, which the family's house is located next to'. Authorities also revealed from the family's autopsies that 'while Lucas died on impact with the rocks below the cliff edge, near the family's home, the suspect, died from downing' which suggests to authorities that this was a case of murder-suicide. The suspect's motive is still unknown at this time, but authorities are warning everyone with a catgirl made in the year 2000, to bring them to the closest Neko Farms Medical Facility for a mental evaluation."

"In related news, Neko Farms stock has plummeted today, as the triple homicide that occurred late last evening, is just one in a long line of incidents involving catgirls this year, since the company started genetically engineering catgirls in 1981, over 124 cases of catgirls committing crimes have been reported in the US alone, polls taken since 1985 have shown an increase in concern in the number of catgirls out in public every year, with some labor unions and animal rights groups calling for the complete halt of catgirl production altogether. Calls for the banning of catgirls have been steadily climbing since the reopening of one of Neko Farm's biggest facilities in 2012, large protests have been held in Washington and around Neko Farms facilities since the announcement in 2016 of the biggest expansion to Neko Farm's facility ever, they claim that this expansion, which includes upgrades to older facilities and the construction of their largest facility yet, 'will produce as many as 15,000 catgirls a year', which is over 5,000 more than their peak in 2008. This expansion would double the output they had in 2019, many analysts believe this expansion was to be expected after Neko Farms won lawsuits against many of the world-leading economies last year on the definition of slavery, some of which had been going on for decades. Although catgirls have been legal in the US, Canada, Japan, and South Korea since Neko Farms started producing catgirls in 1981, many world governments banned them based on fear of hurting low education workers, though private sellers have often found ways of smuggling them out of the US, with ICE claiming to have detained nearly a dozen catgirls being illegally transported across the US-Mexican border in 2019 alone."

"More on this story and stories like it on our website, now to John Jacobs with sports."

"Hey waitress!", a large burly trucker yells out.

A catgirl dressed in a waitress uniform turns away from the TV to look at who's yelling.

"I've been waiting on my coffee for 10 Goddamn minutes! Is it done or what!?", he spits in anger.

"Y- yes sir, it's nearly done, I'll go get it right now!", the catgirl quickly goes to make the trucker his coffee, which she hadn't even started on.

"And turn this shit off," the trucker yells, "I wanna watch the game!"

In her attempt to do everything at once, the catgirl waitress quickly goes to change the channel and accidentally spills some of the trucker's coffee on the floor, causing her to slip and fall on the hot liquid. Everyone sitting at the bar table erupts in laughter, embarrassed, the catgirl gets back up, and sheepishly goes to make the trucker a new coffee.

End.