Indefinitely - Armin X Reader

Chapter 3 | Abandoned

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During the time you spent as orphans in Trost

If life was hard in Shinganshina, it was purely unfair in Trost. When Wall Maria fell, 10,000 people died. A further 250,000 people were sacrificed to "reclaim" Wall Maria, but in reality, but it was just to cut down on the food shortage. While somewhat rational, it was barbaric. Only those who no longer saw people as people, but merely as numbers, could make such a decision. It made sense then that the decision was made by the Government; the King. It was almost laughable to suggest that the King had felt the true effect of the famine within the walls; as if he had been allowed to starve, with only bread and water to survive for weeks like we had. Eren sometimes joked that it must have been a rather large grape that he had lost from his banquet that made him decide to cut back on the mouths to feed. 

I had lost almost everything except for the 3 people closest to my heart. The cold nights were the worst, when I felt the losses so unbearably; when I realized just how much I missed the safety of my home, the comfort of my bed, and the reassurance my family provided. Not to mention the feeling of protection of having people there to make the decisions for me, to take care of me, and make sure that I always had food on my table. Now, everything was up to me. 

The day that I arrived at my new "home" was one I would never forget. I couldn't even call it a home. The best I, or more Armin's Grandpa could find for us all, was a less crowded corner in a shelter. A few thin sheets and that was it, our new home. The floor was dusty and cold, and the the calculative glances of the strangers sitting near us were enough for all of us to keep a tight grip on the few belongings we had, not that it was much. Despite this, it would have to be enough. Tired legs led me to sink down in the corner, and I shut my eyes wishing that I could wake up in my warm, safe bed at home, and that this would all be a dream. But when I opened my eyes, I were still greeted with the sight of despair. I could see more groups of children around our age huddled together, and it made my heart hurt. 

This is so unfair... What did we do to deserve this?

My eyes stung from crying so much, and my throat was sore from screaming. Both were a painful reminder of what I had experienced that day, and made it hard to even get a moments peace from the memories that had seemingly ingrained themselves in my mind. I felt a hand brush against my cheek, and I glanced up to see Armin leaning down, holding my marked face in his hand. His gaze was somber, but not pitying. He knew I didn't need pity. A tender thumb brushed a smudge of dirt from under my eye, and I gave him a wobbly smile that threatened to break. 

"Thanks, Ar." I said softly, reaching up and placing my hand over his, keeping it in place. Only now did his cheeks flush at my action, but he didn't shift his hand, scared of upsetting me further. He could only imagine the horror I had witnessed. He almost bitterly wished he had been with me.

"I'm sorry," He started weakly, and as I blinked at him in confusion, he continued on. "I'm sorry that I wasn't with you. I know I probably wouldn't have been any help; the only thing I could do as it was was to tell Mr Hannes where you three were going... but I wish I could have been there for you. I'm sorry."

I immediately reacted, pulling him down in to a tight hug. "There was nothing to be done Ar... and I wouldn't have wanted you to see that... and you did more than enough." 

Armin exhaled softly, holding me close. I looked up from his shoulder to see Eren staring blankly ahead, a furious look in his eye. He was angry, per normal. But there was something different in his gaze this time; a disjointed look, like he was staring without seeing. I let go of Armin reluctantly and crawled to my brother's side. I reached up to gently place a hand on his shoulder, and his eyes shifted to mine.