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She's Hurt, He's Okay

They say if you love something, let it go.

That statement just goes to show that there's a reason why you're still with him.

There's a reason why the light to heaven looks so dim to you because you're eyes are never open.

And if home is where the heart is, then he made you homesick.

You need to take control and pick to live rather than fall for more of his tricks.

He is not what you expected, not what I respect and not what you regret because you claim to be in love.

But the "love" you see is just passing by and you're making no receptions.

Is he everything you ever wanted or did you make a few exceptions?

Are you even considering the thought of redemption from everything he's done to you?

You said his smile was a gift from heaven, but you didn't tell me it was created in hell.

You never told me what he had to sell to capture your attention.

When you said you felt the beating in his hands, I thought he was holding your heart.

I didn't know you were speaking in the literal sense.

And since he saved you financially, you call him your hero and he expects you to be his heroine, but he treats you like his heroin.

He's addicted to abusing you when he should be addicted to amusing you.

Yet you still sit there with a smile on your face, one hand on his thigh, and one hand on the floor.

How can you sit there and act so strong when you know he gave you tears that lasted for so long?

He hit you like a bong, carelessly.

He hit you like a song, in a rhythm.

He hit you and you act like nothing is wrong.

Makeup can cover a scar, but we live in a rainy world.

Pills can erase the pain, but not erase the girl.

She deserves much more than this living hell.

His knuckled slamming against her cheeks.

She wept from the pain, and now she hasn't slept in weeks.

In fact, even as I speak, she's still in her bed:

Her pillow caved in from her head

Her head wishing she was dead

Wishing she could just close her eyes and never open them again.

I can only pray to ever live in a world where open eyes are more satisfying than closed eyes.

And she never knew when the sun was out because she always saw the dark spots on her skin.

Confusing her skin with the shade.

Confusing her fingertips with razorblades.

Confusing her tears with the rain.

Confusing a shooting star with a plane...

And he wants her to be dirty, but she just wants to get clean.

She wants to no longer bleed during the day and scream during the night.

She just wants to dream like a normal girl, but she can't even think about anything except making him smile even if it's just for a little while.

And she wants to stop smoking just in case she ever has a kid.

Getting high made her a low life, so she talks low hoping she'll live a high life.

That's why she treats others the same way he treats her.

And in her mind, it's what she deserves for not pleasing him every second of the day.

And she swore on her life that she'd leave him when she had the chance, but she never took the chance hoping her swear would take effect.

Nobody knows what the hell she expects from him.

Nothing ever changes.

And when she's with him, she speaks with her body and not with her mouth and it always ends with those two lips heading south... for him.

She still gets up with the moon rather than to go to bed with it, using the cold moon as an ice pack for her swelling, but she doesn't mean to sleep in the daylight, she's just knocked out...

Being unconscious is the only way she sleeps.

An alarm clock beeps, but hers screams at her for being asleep when she should be washing dishes, dusting the house, giving him head, doing anything that she doesn't want to do, but she'll still stand up and say "yes, sir" because to her, he's worth it.

And to her conscious, he's worthless.

And somehow, he heard that.

The whisper under her voice was a poor choice because the next noise in that house will be a skull hitting the tiles... again.

But did that ever stop her from leaving him?...

No, she started saving up for carpet floors, so she could fall on something soft.

I guess if you're gonna fall everyday, then try not to fall on a rock.

But just imagine what it would be like if he ever killed her:

[If she opens her eyes, she'll see the inside of a coffin buried underground and if he opens his eyes he'll see the metal bars and brick walls surrounding him. He thought men and women were unequal, so why must they be living in unequal environments after what he did to her? He'll live the rest of his life believing he was right.]

And I guess that's why she puts up with the fight.

She doesn't want him in jail because she cares so much about him.

If she had to, she would die for him.

She would die believing heaven's light is dim, but still not care.

....One night she announced her pregnancy to him.

She said "I'm pregnant."

He said "You act like I care. if this child is coming straight out of you, then I don't give a fuck. I'll beat his ass too. Give him a matching bruise so he can look just like you. You are both here to serve me and if you fuck that up, then you don't deserve me. You think I hurt you? Bitch, you hurt me. I'm in pain everyday of my life, praying to the gods that you'll be my wife.

I've prayed to every God in existence hoping one of them is real, so they can make you mine for eternity.

I don't mean to hurt you.

I just feel like forcing you to stay with me is the only way you'll actually stay.

Baby, please don't ever leave me. I love you more than my voice can ever say, but just know I want you to stay. I want you to be with me forever.

Just... stay."

And that night she held him tight as she fell asleep by his side, but the beatings continued.

She drowned the smell of blood with her perfume.

She gave in to his demands.

She gave out to his hands.

She gave everything to that man.

And if she stays with him, she's gonna die slowly...

Slow and steady may win the race, but everyone ends up getting there anyways.