Sign On The Line ✔~ trixya

Chapter 15: It Must Be Love

Have you ever felt overcome with pure joy just from seeing someone else be completely in their element? Felt a warmth fill your entire body as you watched them from across the room, your eyes nearly filling with tears as you saw their smile grow so big that their eyes crinkled up? 

That was what Trixie felt like as she watched Katya dance on the stage of Jacque's Cabaret along with her friend Fena. Katya had seemed completely captivated by Fena's performance, a tear rolling down her cheek as the drag queen lipsynced to Glimmer Of Light. But she'd completely fallen over in laughter and had started clapping along as Fena moved on to her Princess Leia performance, seemingly overjoyed as the drag queen pulled her up on stage for the ending of the number. And so now Trixie was sat watching and hollering as her two friends danced wildly to Britney's Till The World Ends. 

Katya's movements were captivating, charmingly chaotic and yet seamlessly improvised. Her legs extended for days and the Russian had flexibility that the doll could only dream of. The entire crowd was going wild as they watched her and Trixie couldn't blame them, for even without her personal bias towards the woman, she could say with certainty that Katya was a fantastic performer.

She looked as if she belonged on that stage, as if she had always been there, and a pang of sadness hit Trixie as she realized that all this explosive energy would soon end up locked away behind the facade of a perfect housewife. Katya was such an interesting person, so electrifying to be around, and yet she was signing up to become the dull arm candy of a dickhead. 

It wasn't that Trixie didn't understand, it was just that the reality was more heartbreaking than ever as she watched the Russian's carefree dancing on stage. This was who Katya was meant to be, Trixie thought, and yet she was forced to become something else. 

In another life, would she have been able to see the woman perform happily on stage?
Perhaps even perform with her?

In her mind she suddenly imagined a reality were she had chosen music over law school and traveled to Boston to perform. In that life she could have run into Katya who was already living there and performing at Jacque's regularly, and the two could have fallen in love and performed together happily. 

Would they have toured together? 
Made a career as a duo?

They'd be two completely different performers surely, but maybe that synergy would have made them that much more interesting as a pair. It was a ridiculous fantasy, and it wasn't as if Trixie had any regrets in regards to choosing to go to law school, but still the thought of sharing the spotlight with Katya filled her with longing.

Longing for a reality she'd never see.
Longing for a story that wasn't hers. 
Longing for a life she'd never have.

Maybe in that reality she wouldn't have been so scared to confess what she felt. Would that world have made her brave enough to admit her love for Katya? Maybe in that universe she'd run up on the stage and kiss the Russian right now. Or perhaps in that universe their love would have already begun. 

But no matter how much she wished for another reality, it wouldn't come.
So in her own universe all she could do was wait.

Wait for Katya to take a step closer to her.
Wait for a day that may never come.

She knew that it quite possibly wouldn't, but she wouldn't give up. Her heart couldn't let go, her feelings only growing as time passed, becoming stronger for every day she spent around the Russian firecracker. And so she would wait, wait for Katya's heart to catch up with her own. Hope that someday she'd be able to tell her all the thoughts and dreams she had kept hidden away. Hope that maybe there would come a tomorrow when they could be together.

But even if that day never came, she'd stick by Katya's side.
Support her from the sidelines and be ready to catch her if she should ever fall.
Be ready to protect her, no matter what price she'd have to pay.

If Katya blew the whistle, Trixie would come running, she'd happily follow her no matter what road the Russian should choose. And if Katya wished it, the doll would take her anywhere, carry her so far away that no one could ever find them. Her hand outstretched and ready in case the blue eyed girl should someday need it. She'd chase away the shadows and do her best to bring Katya happiness.

For Trixie's wish, her dream, was Katya.
Even if no one knew, even if no one ever learned of her affection,
Katya would remain her only love.