2gether AU: Stay, be Still

Chapter 18: Why Didn't You Stay?

Wat's POV

"Did you still remember that morning when I fainted and you called Fong to come over?"

I nodded bitterly, it was a day that I wished it didn't happen. I hate seeing my Tine in pain and worse still, I couldn't do anything to take the pain away from him.

"I remember you were writhing in your dreams before you woke up." I nuzzled closer into Tine's neck, feeling him growing uneasy as I let that memory out.

He smelt like vanilla and mint. A weird combination, but I loved it.

"I dreamt of you, Wat." Tine whispered inaudibly.

"What was I doing? Kissing you till you drop?" My fingers found the small of Tine's back and started scrapping against the smooth planes lightly, feeling Tine squirming in my arms slightly.

I smiled at the thought of us kissing, it has been so long since I last kissed my Tine nicely.

"No. I wish you were, but you weren't." Tine shook his head, his voice cracking and his arms tightened around my waist.

I could almost feel the hint of desperation from his actions. Yes, my Tine could overthink a little too much sometimes, but he wouldn't be this paranoid.

My heart grew cold almost instantly.

"We were standing in the middle of a really pretty chrysanthemum field. You were wearing your white shirt, the one in the closet. You told me that the chrysanthemum flowers would answer a lot of my questions.

Then, the next second, you were disappearing right in front of me, I begged you to stay but you left me all alone in the darkness. Wat, you left me alone. Why didn't you stay?

Why didn't you stay when I asked you to? You were disappearing right in front of my eyes. I was so cold, so hollow. I had lost you completely. Why didn't you stay?"

Tine was literally breaking down in my arms, his balled fist met my chest in irregular rhythms as he let his nightmares out.

That's why Tine told me not to leave him alone when he woke up that day.

I didn't know how should I comfort him, when all his pain pointed towards me.

I wanted to make him feel better, but how could I do so when I was the root of his demons.

I could only stroke his back gently, patting his shoulders occasionally to remind him that I was going to remain still whenever he needed me.

Tine, I'm so sorry.

"Tine, how long this had been happening? Why didn't you tell me?"

I swallowed the lump that was forming slowly in my throat.

"I thought it will eventually go away, I thought it was only a one-off thing, but it kept running back to me. My demons kept running back to me and you kept running away from me."

That was when I realised that Tine wasn't trying to abandon me, he was just trying to escape from his nightmares.

I was your nightmare.

"I woke up crying in the middle of the night for the past few weeks, wondering what have I done so wrong that you just have to leave me alone. Wat, tell me, did I do something wrong? Why did you keep running away from me?"

The uncertainty in Tine's voice was heartbreaking.

"No no, Tine, it was just a nightmare. You had done nothing wrong, and I'll never ever leave you even when you've done something wrong."