2gether You and I || BrightWin Fanfic

36 Sarawat's POV

CHAPTER 36
Sarawat’s POV
When Tine asked me why I have never asked him to marry me, I felt guilty. Because I know that he thinks that I don’t love him anymore that is why I have forgotten about it. I know how much he wants to get married more than anyone, and I have everything planned already. But it’s not the time I am waiting for yet, I want everything to be perfect when I ask him to officially marry me. So I have to wait, I have to wait for that time patiently. I am not saying that after 5 years we should still take everything slow. All I am saying is that I need the perfect timing for a perfect event. I was asked by Man too, if I am scared of getting married because I’ll lose all the previlleges of a single man. But seriously, I am not scared of getting married. Being scared of marriage should only exist if you don’t love the one you are marrying. But it’s different for me and Tine, because I have loved him even before he knew about my existence. I have dreamed of marrying him the first time he laid his eyes on me.
Even if that time, we were both so childish and knew nothing I still wanted to marry him. How much more now that we’ve grown so much together now? I told Man that I lost all my fears the day Tine agreed to be with me. From that day until now, the only thing I have feared was him leaving me. It’s not that I am scared to marry him or I am not ready for a life in marriage, it’s because I want everything to perfect when that day comes. I want to make my boyfriend so happy and be thankful that he agreed to be with me. Sometimes, I doubt myself  if I can really take care of him even better in the future. But I realized that I have been, we have been taking good care of each other the past 5 years of being together. We have our own ways of showing and giving care for each other. So there is no such thing as standards of how we care for each other.
I don’t  have to think if I can take good care of him because I am already doing it in ways that maybe even I couldn’t see. All I wanted was to make sure that we’ll be together happily for the rest of our lives. I cannot be more sure than I am right now that Tine and I will be together for a very long time. It’s hard to find a love like ours, most people we know told us that we are already so lucky to have met each other. We are much more lucky to spend time together,and so much more if we get to spend a lifetime together. We have already adjusted to a life together as we have been doing that the past 5 years. I can say we are more than ready to spend the rest of our lives together. Nothing much will change, just that we’ll be legally married but marriage means a  lot to us, and to our families so basically this is a must for us. I think I’m ready to spend my remaining life with him…

“what’s this all about?”
“is that the new hello?”
“I’m a busy person unlike you, this time is crucial for me so tell me your issues now”
“I’m ready, let’s plan out your marriage together and I need your hand too”
“I think, I know what your planning. Have you finally gotten courage to do so?”
“yeah, I thought that I should not be wasting anymore time”
“that’s more like it. Brave men are adorable you see”
“did you just realize that now?”
“why did you decide to do it the same day as my wedding day? Do you want to ruin me? You jerk?”
“hey! I just realized that your wedding day is a great way to surprise him too”
“your just a copy cat. But yeah whatever!”
“just be kind enough to help me will you? P’Type said that he will send you here to plan with me for your wedding. It’s just like hitting two birds with one stone”
“well, you have a point. But it’ll be hard, we haven’t talked about where the wedding will be. Either Bangkok or Phuket, we haven’t decided yet”
“that’s ok, you can use both places.  You can held your wedding at either Bangkok or Phuket then have your reception at either places too. There’s no need to worry”
“you have a point”
“by the way, are your parents coming?”
“yes, they booked their flight already. Why? Are you scared?”
“no, I am not. I am very prepared to meet them actually”
“that’s great then. They want to see you too”
“I think, I am so ready”
“don’t worry, let’s just each lend a helping hand to each other. No need to feel bothered about it”
“yeah, thank God I had you”
I had a throwback, I was thinking through my dreams at night about how I met Tine and how everything started. I realized that it has been a very long time ever since and everything seems to have changed. But seriously, the changes weren’t a big deal because we adopted to it has time passed as well. Sometimes I think that life has given us more than enough experiences together to determine our compatibility as a couple. If each couple gets successful in every trial then it gives them a positive number of compatibility. I have always known that Tine and I were different from all the other couples. Not because we have the same gender but because we have different ways to show and give our love to each other. Some get clingy but our couple commonly shows care and love if each other does something that we get mad of.  Basically, we say that our love is still active if we fight, weird right? But for me, our fights made us closer, made us stronger, made our love deeper and most specially it made us stay together.
Being with Tine all this time made me realized that there are different kinds of love and relationship. Not just differences in the gender but differences in how people show and give their love to the people they love.  There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and we are the living proof. Because months after we got together in college we broke up because of a sudden occurrence of a person in my past that made him think that what you used to love will always stay the same. But not all people think like that, because even if you loved that person from your past it doesn’t mean that will be the only person you’ll love forever. And it doesn’t mean that because that person was from your past, it’ll stay in the present and even in the future.
Because I admit, I loved Pam. I had feelings for her when I was in grade school. But it’s not the same love as I have for Tine. Because Tine is my exception to everything, even if I had feelings for Pam in the past, it was all in the past. I was too. But not all people think like that, because even if you loved that person from your past it doesn’t mean that will be the only person you’ll love forever. And it doesn’t mean that because that person was from your past, it’ll stay in the present and even in the future. Because I admit, I loved Pam. I had feelings for her when I was in grade school. But it’s not the same love as I have for Tine. Because Tine is my exception to everything, even if I had feelings for Pam in the past, it was all in the past. I was too young to even call that love. Maybe I just had a puppy crush on her because I’ve known her ever since the day I attented school. She was the one who introduced me to people that has now become my friends. She was the reason why I slowly loved going to places full of people. But not because she was there all this time for me, she’s meant to become the one who’ll stay with me the rest of my life as my lover. Everything I did with her was a memorable time, but it’s nothing more than that.

But I am very thankful to Pam, because if not for her I wouldn’t have realized that I am not how other people think of me. If I hadn’t rejected her, I wouldn’t have been with the one I am happy to be with and the one who makes me happy everyday. She was and will always stay special to me because she was my very first friend. The one who’s bound to love her, take care of her and will be with her the rest of her life as her lover will be so lucky to have her. I will continue to support every decision she makes as her friend. And the next time we meet, I hope we are both settled with life and is happy living with the one who makes us happy. “what were you thinking? You’ve been looking at your highschool photo album for quite some time now.” Tine said as he came out of the shower. “nothing, I just got reminded of the good old days and how I was back then” I answered. “good old days? With Pam? Were you thinking about her just now?” he asked again.
“well, she’s part of that good old days. I just realized that my highschool friends and I haven’t been going out for sometime now. I want to see them” “but you see Boss everyday, so what’s wrong? Who knows maybe Pam is so busy at this time of her life too. I haven’t been seing her too” Tine answered “I want her to be there on the day that we get married” I said “sure, why not? I mean, she’s your very first friend. She’s a very crucial part of who you were and how you’ve become so why not? We’ve grown so mature so if you think that I’d be jealous of her like how I was in the past then move on. Because we’ve been together for so long for me to be assured that you love me and that never changed”
“of course, and you’re already a lawyer. You should know the big difference of the word LOVER from the word FRIEND. And you are also well aware of which one of the two you stand. So let’s not argue on that, I just want to tell you in advance that when the day comes that we get married I want Pam to be there. No matter what issues we three had in the college, she is still and will forever be my bestfriend” I explained to her “yeah, I know. It’s all in the past. There is a big difference from the STUDENT TINE and the LAWYER TINE. You know that too, and besides I have already let go of all the grudge I had for her. You explained it to me already and I understand it well enough. The past will always be a part of who you are and who you will be, and I am happy that she came into your life to help you grow. I am sure that she’s happy wherever she is right now. She’s happy for you and she’s happy for herself too”
“thank you, for being so understanding. For being such a cute and sweet lover who’s there to support and be with me all this years. You know what? I don’t know what I did in the future to deserve you but I am thankful for the man above for letting me have you… I promise to take care and love you the rest of my life Tine. Trust me, I will be right here beside you no matter what happens”