2gether You and I || BrightWin Fanfic

39 - Tine's POV

CHAPTER 39
Tine’s POV
“Man called me earlier, did you say something?” P’Type asked “huh? Well I actually mentioned it to Wat. I mean, you look like you miss him badly so I asked Sarawat to tell Man to call you. So? What did he say? Did he say he misses you?” “yeah, something like that. But you wouldn’t want to hear what he exactly said. You see, Sarawat is cheesy and clingy but Man is worser than him you’ll just get cringy over it so better not talk about it. But thanks anyway, for being so observant all this time and seing that I miss him too. I felt like I have always been strict and hard on him all this time. That sometimes when we fight he always tell me that I act more like his mom than his boyfriend. Now, I realize that he was right. I was so hard and a little too much on him. Now that we are getting married, I want to act more like a lover more than his mother. How do you even do that, you let Sarawat do everything he wants even if he nags you sometimes and annoys you too. But still you are ok with everything he does, how do you do that?”
I can’t believe that I am giving an advice to my older brother for the first time just because I have a longer relationship experience with Sarawat more than he is with Man. “seriously P, I also don’t know. I just got used to it, I got used to what he always does. And we divided our world evenly, we have a world outside of our relationship and we agreed to have our own privacy on that. We just respect and trust each other that we are both allowed to do things our own way. And I don’t want to control him because he lets me do what I want, and I want him to do the same for him. I just want him to  enjoy life like how I am enjoying it too. I just want to have fairly for the both of us” .A lot of people has asked me how I managed to stay with him for 5 years when we got so busy after working permanently.  Seriously, I don’t have an exact answer for that but  I think that maybe I just love him so much and vice versa that it made our relationship work after all this years. 
“you know what Tine? Maybe Sarawat is really the one that has been planned to be yours. Are you  not afraid that he’d lose interest in marriage? Don’t you want to get married already? You’ve known each other longer than the 5 years that you have been together. What’s more to be scared about settling down with life, are you still waiting for someone from the past appear and ruin everything again?” P’Type asked “I just trust him, we’ve talked about it and he said he is still waiting for the right time to come. I don’t know when that is but I am just assured because I love him and he always remind me that he loves me even when we don’t usually say those kinds of things verbally. We just let it out through our actions” . Married or not, as long as we love each other that is more than enough for me. After all we are both contented with the life we have right now.  But if there is still no plans within the next month then I’ll have Phukong move in with us again. His boyfriend has been nagging me about when he’ll be back in Bangkok. They have been going on virtual dates only and P’Mil seems to feel lonely. Well, Phukong will be here on the wedding day and I have sent an invitation to P’Mil too but he said that he’ll double check his schedule. So I’ll let destiny decide if they are meant to meet each other on that day. After all the bookings we did, P’Type and I went to prepare for the clothes that will be worn on that day. Seing all this made me imagine myself wearing one for my own wedding too, will I really get married or will we only stay together without being married?  “Tine, you are thinking too much again. Don’t worry for sure Sarawat will marry you, you don’t have to worry about that. If you want to marry him now you can propose to him first. It doesn’t really matter but I think you should just ask for a sign and if it doesn’t happen then ask him to marry you.. that’s easy”
Should I ask him first? I don’t even know right now. But I’ll ask for a sign, if it doesn’t happen then I’ll decide what to do. After reserving the clothes, we went to reserve for flowers. The florist recommended a flower and after P’Type looked at it he decided to have it for the wedding day.  Everything made us so busy that we forgot to eat so we just had a fastfood take out and ate inside the car. “your boyfriend will kill me if he finds out that I made you eat uncomfortably inside my car” P’Type said “he won’t dare, you know he is scared of you right?” I asked him “yes, in the past he wouldn’t dare but I think he would right now. I mean you guys look like a married couple already. But even in the past he cared just this much about you that sometimes you feel very annoyed but still cuddles with him. Just get married fast and give me rest in worrying about you guys”
“we will, wait for it because we will. Don’t worry about it because we will get married if time allows us too. And if he ever has plans of getting married to me then why not? But right now let’s just wait for it. Don’t worry, I won’t tell him that you made me suffer by eating uncomfortably inside your car when I came all the way from Bangkok to help you” I teased him “hey don’t make me feel guilty will you? I don’t like the sound of being indebted to you or anyone else. Don’t worry I’ll buy you steak for dinner, let’s stay outside until then. I think we should have a bonding aswell, I mean I can’t get married without hanging out with you like the old times right? I miss the past too when we haven’t realized that we’re different like all the others. Now that I am getting married, I want to remember how we were in the past and enjoy it like the old times too. So? Are you ready to spend the day with me? If you agree I’ll buy you steak for dinner” “are you blackmailing me with food because I am a foodie? But fine, I can’t say no to free food. And I miss hanging out with you too so why not? Let’s have fun today together and think about our single life.
“Tine, did it ever come to you in the past that you’d turn out just like this?” he asked me as we were walking around “when I was in grade school, I thought of nothing. I wasn’t the type to think about the future when I was years younger. Because everytime I think of the future, I miss mom and dad. You know that we both grew up differently. Mom was still in Bangkok until I was 6 years old and you were already old enough that time to understand everything that has been going on. But me? What was going on through my mind that time was mom didn’t want to have me that’s why she left, I was too young then.  When I went to middle school with a couple of friends and you starting to study for college, I slowly forgot about the fact that I grew up without my parents and I was the one who taught myself things that parents should’ve been the one to teach their kids. Then I grew up to think for myself and do things that would make me happy unlike all those other kids who did good at school to satisfy and make their parents proud. That was a big difference, at college I felt like I wanted to test myself in taking up something that I had no passion for. That time everything became a chaos but nobody really cared when I was introuble because everyone else was busy and it’s not like I want to bother you when you had just started out your life.  I dated almost all kinds of girls at the university, none of them had stayed with me until the end but I really didn’t feel any broken heart. I was serious about my studies in college but I had just as much time to look for someone to care for me because I was longing for a family. Then someone came into my life by chance and made me feel that I have the family that I have always dreamed of with him.  Seriously, it was so hard to start a relationship with Sarawat P, I heard a lot of bad things from people who surround us at the university. Not because I was known to be someone who dated tons of girls but because Sarawat was a public figure at school. He is every girl’s dream gut but he suddenly ended up with a guy as well. What we had was a contractual relationship to get rid of Green but one day, when he got beaten up at the rest room because of someone’s jealousy I felt like I was so worried sick that he might get badly hurt. Then I realized that I cared for him more than the contractual relationship that we have. When we both found out that our club’s leader was Green’s boyfriend, I thought everything has ended but Sarawat confessed to me that he has met me before and has been looking for me for over 2 years. I couldn’t believe how someone got so dedicated for looking for a person whom he doesn’t even know. He said that he liked me ever since then, to cut the long story short here we are still together after 5 years. We still feel the same after we have grown. We learned a lot from each and every experience and problems that we had together. I don’t know what’s there for us in the upcoming days but all I am sure of is that we’ll always feel the same no matter what. I’ve come a long way from who I was in the past. I’ve changed a lot including my gender but that doesn’t mean that I’ll forget who I was and what I had experienced in the past because that made me who I am today and that made me meet Sarawat as well”
“you see, the most unexpected things come to us at the most unexpected time too. Don’t feel bad that your gender have changed as well because none of that matters if you are just happy. You have the right to be happy no matter who and what you are, and as what you have said you have Sarawat now.  The dream guy of almost every girl at your university, that means even if how pretty and great they were Sarawat wasn’t meant for them. Just be happy and forget everything, it doesn’t matter anymore”. P’Type is right, it doesn’t matter anymore because I am happy and both Sarawat and I are ok with this kind of life. After the whole day of strolling around the steak P’Type has promised me has really become visible. “I guess you don’t get back on your word” I teased him “of course not. I mean it’s been ages since I last ate steak. Man and I are quite busy to have time to eat together outside but we always eat together at home, I guess that’s just the same” he laughed “well, Sarawat takes me out to eat dinner from time to hime. Maybe because he knows that food is my stress reliever and he knows how much I love food” “I guess he doesn’t tell you all the time that he loves you but he takes you out to eat from time to time to show you that he loves you right? That’s just so sweet” P’Type said.
“well, I told you we are not the type to verbally tell each other about how we feel like all the others. I’d like it more if he just buy me food or when we play scrubb songs together as well. Sometimes hearing him sing Scrubb songs for me are the best therapy when I had a bad and a long stressful day. We just enjoy our time like that, we spend days off work like that. We don’t need such grand food or things to do that needs a lot of effort. Sometimes even sleeping next to him the whole day at a weekend is more than enough for the both of us. I just don’t know but even staying still with him doesn’t make me feel bored at all. I might have been enchanted P, what do you think?” I asked him “you’re too old to believe in that. Do you really think someone enchanted you to fall so deep in love like this for Sarawat? Look Tine, Sarawat is a good and a nice person. Even without doing anything I can  see how much he loves you and how willing he is to spend the rest of his life with you. Don’t think about getting enchanted or what because it would be a bother if he cared for you that much and you don’t even love him right? From now onwards, I want you to trust him and trust your love for him. That way you won’t get distracted even if he works with several kinds of people everyday. I do the same with Man, I believe that trust is needed specially now that we are getting married too. And you are gonna be married in no time as well so trust him and trust your feelings for him just as much as he does for you. It would be unfair for him if you won’t trust him so do it. Don’t be scared all the time becase he loves you”
Oh well, I think I have entrusted him with my life already so there is nothing to really worry about right? Don’t think of something so not necessary Tine.