You Gave Me The Sun.Twice!!

CHAPTER 10

I decide to head to the kitchen to drink some water before we head out.I also need some time to myself and I know I'm being a coward right now by leaving him alone with the twins but he said he wanted in their lives.
I also need to get myself under control,  I can not believe I still react like a horny teenager when Damien is around me.
What's worse is I can't even blame him because he asked me, that's what I get for staying too long without being intimate with anyone. Now the first person who kisses me makes me want to strip him naked and do dirty things to them.
Come on Jess Focus!!

Dinner was actually nice, the twins seemed to enjoy have Damien around, I guess they do need a male figure in their lives.
Dj kept asking him so many questions, and to my shock Damien answered all of them without even getting annoyed.I get annoyed after a while because they are forever asking questions.

Damien was also asking them questions, im guessing he does want to be in their lives. But it has only been one day so I cant really assume he is here to stay.

But I will always make sure to put the kids first. I also have to get my emotions on track because they keep dissappointing me.

Im glad the kids are here so I dont jump him. This is honestly so embarrassing. Thats what I get for not being intimate with anyone.
Besides the fact that i didnt have time due to having twins, I just was not interested at all in getting into anything with anyone.

I felt I did not want to burden anyone with my problems. I started having trust issues with all guys after Damien.
I just felt they will all discard me after they had their fill.
So i figured it would be better to keep to myself.

Having kids also reduced my circle of friends also, every single friend I had in college left, after they realised I was pregnant. They were flocking around me when I was with Damien, I'm guessing because of the parties he used to throw every weekend on his many cruise ships.

Then after I was thrown out everyone just kind of disappeared, not that I blame them or anything, maybe I would have done the same thing if i was in their shoes.
Honestly if it was not for Mia I dont know where I would be, we had never been close growing up, with her being the golden child, she did well in school, graduated first class in college, but she just decided to be a YouTuber, and she makes close to 300k dollars per year on YouTube. She does have part time jobs though here and there. She says she wants to remain humble.
So she did helped me a whole lot when I was pregnant, I couldnt work when I was pregnant, my feet were swollen all the time from 3 months, I was throwing up constantly until the end of my second trimester, honestly I had a terrible pregnant.
At 7 months i was put on bed rest until I gave birth, so all I could do was rely on my sister and her income until the kids were around 2 years.
That was when I decided to start doing internships to gain experience, i was an online assistant for 6 months and it worked really well since i worked from home.

If im really honest with myself i missed Damien's energy, but im 100% sure that im not going to get involved with him no matter what.
Not happening, i have to have a chat with my sister about him coming back into their lives.
She has always been the rational one between the two of us.

"Mom can we get ice-cream please?"Dj asks.

"No, there is ice-cream at home, and you had enough sugar for the day. You had bubble gum milkshake already, thats enough sugar."
I waited years to say that, the way my mom always said that every Sunday when we passed by Star bucks.
It's days like these that I actually miss my parents, I thought by now they would have come around but nope.
I also long gave up on them, I'm just heartbroken for Mia, she also cut the off after they disowned me and we don't even talk about them.
He pouts but he doesnt argue any further, that's what I love most about Dj he listens when I speak unlike little miss smarty pants over here.