"Jeongwoo, where is Haruto?" asked Junkyu once that guy entered the dancing room.
"Don't know hyung. He's already gone when I woke up this morning." said Jeongwoo while setting up a song to warm up before they start practicing.
Junkyu just pouted his lips, trying to figure where Haruto could possibly be. 'Is he at the studio?' mumbled to himself just before another person stepped into the room. There is the straight-face-handsomeness-without-trying guy walking slowly towards them.
"Is Haruto in the studio, Asahi?" the older one asked when the Japanese were getting nearer. Asahi shook his head blankly. Junkyu frowned after seeing Asahi's reaction.
"What is wrong, hyung?" asked Jeongwoo when he saw a glimpse of worries on the older's face. Junkyu shook his head while pouting still. A minute later, they heard a group of people approaching the room. The door is wide open, as Hyunsuk leads the group and the remaining three follow behind him. Junkyu brightly focuses on seeing the three rappers and the japanese vocalist enter the room.
"There you are!" he shouts and a wide smile curving on his lips when he sees the tallest member, who is standing at the back. All eyes in that room shift to Haruto who looked startled when Junkyu suddenly approached him excitedly.
"Why? What happened?" the deep voice asked while glaring at Jeongwoo before his sight landed on Junkyu. The older one just pulled Haruto by his wrist and brought him to the corner, far from the others. While the two are busy with their own business, everyone takes their time and starts to warm up. Mashiho walks closer to Jeongwoo and hints him towards the two people who are already in their own world like there are no other people in that room.
"What is the matter?" asked Mashiho towards Jeongwoo. The Korean just shrugged his shoulders while taking a glance towards his two favorite persons, who were busily whispering and smiling with each other. There is uneasiness starting to creep in his heart when seeing those two and slightly feels hurt when he is being left behind by those two. Especially by Haruto who normally doesn't keep secrets from him. He quickly shoved his thought when Mashiho patted his shoulder with a soft smile curved on his lips and gestured to him to continue with their practice.
The room starts to feel lively when the rest of the members have already filled up the room. Junkyu and Haruto return to join the squad. Jeongwoo stared directly into the Japanese's eyes once Haruto walked closer and stood beside him, trying to search for an answer for his unuttered question. Haruto just raised his eyebrows before the smile suddenly curving on his lips when realized the sharp gaze that Jeongwoo gave him, which made Jeongwoo divert his sight towards Jihoon, who instructed them to start with the dance practice.
********************************
Jeongwoo lying on his bed after having a quick bath that night. His body has been drenched out from the practice earlier. Suddenly his phone vibrated, disrupting his nap.
"Jeongwoo-ya, what are you doing?" asked the person in the line.
"Sleep." he answered with his eyes shut, noticing the familiar voice.
"Already? Have you eaten? I'll come over, I have some...."
"Not today. I don't feel like eating anything. I just wanna rest." he said, cutting Haruto off on the line.
"Really? Are you okay?" Haruto asked, his voice started to tone down, feeling a bit disappointed with Jeongwoo's words.
"Yeah.." replied Jeongwoo, short.
"So, are you sure you don't want to eat?....eh..Junkyu Hyung, wait!!!...okay Jeongwoo, rest well. I'll hang up now. Night!" Haruto ended the call in a hurry that made Jeongwoo widen his eyes.
"How dare he end the call just like that? Junkyu? So he will eat with Junkyu hyung...that long legs rascal. Not even trying to pursue me more? Fine!!! Like I care." Jeongwoo tosses his phone away and shuts his eyes with the thought of Haruto's and Junkyu's image in it.
"Why should I care? He is always like that." He muttered under his breath. His eyes slowly open. "One time he let me put on hope by treating me so special and made me flutter, but then he acted like nothing happened. It has been years already and he never changed. But I can't blame him for that. I can't force him to feel the same way as I did. Not like we have the kind of relationship that gives me the right to disallow him to be with others. Even though we are close, he was never actually in my possession in the first place. The one that should be blamed is me. I'm not supposed to have this kind of feeling towards him. He is just kind to everyone. How foolish to think that I am somewhat special to him? And never did I see he is interested in 'that' kind of relationship. He has everything in his hand, looks, money, popularity. Trading what he has for something like me? Who would do so? Then? What is the reason that I put my hope up?...He is just too perfect. There's no reason for him to be with someone like me. But still...I can't help wanting a piece of him. I don't know why. I never find myself to be attached to people like this. Especially not to a guy. Yes, I am pretty close with others but no one ever makes me feel so fond towards them. Even Jaehyuk hyung, the person who I always shared the bed with when we were trainees. How we always endup cuddled everytime we wake up in the morning, but still it never shakes my heart to the point like I feel right now. I won't let the same mistake happen again. Reflecting on the things that happened between us in trainee days makes me more cautious. That is why I am like this. Foolishly being hurt but can't do anything about it. Yah Park Jeongwoo...what's wrong with you? Just act like you always do. You are doing great so far. As long as we are in this same group, fighting for the same dream, you can always be with him...at least, that is the thing that you can do, right? Yeah...Park Jeongwoo, Fighting!!!" He encouraged himself before trying to catch some sleep.
"urghh...I don't think I can sleep now." he quickly get up from his bed and open some books to study. "I've been less concentrating on my studies lately. If mom knows, she might be sad. How she wishes I could be an entertainer with a brain." Jeongwoo starts to focus on his study for a while, pointing down the important keynotes for easy revision and the moment he gives into it makes him forget everything about Haruto and the dilemma that he has been facing.
