bucket list || l. norris

forty three

* chapter forty three is here! mila is finally ready to take some big steps and if she was real i would give her the biggest hug ever <3 hope you lovely lot this and as always, don't forget to engage! it means so much to me - i'll be replying to comments and following people hehehe. it's almost christmas so let's share the joy x *

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All I wanted to do since leaving hospital yesterday evening was sleep. It felt like the longest day, in and out of hospital in a few hours after I was totally reassured that I was okay. So, when I woke up from another nap on the sofa in my parents' front room, I couldn't really be surprised.

I was surprised, however, when I realised that Lando was sitting on the floor, with his back resting against the sofa, his head close to mine. Close enough for my fingertips to reach out to begin to stroke his soft, dark curls. It took less than a second for Lando to register that I was awake, and he was quick to turn around and look at me.

"Hi, baby," he smiled, and that smile made me feel emotional. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I smiled, lifting my head from my pillow for a brief second to give my boyfriend a kiss. "Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"I just wanted to be close to you," he was far too good to me. "And be here when you woke up."

We decided to join my parents and Micah at home, just for a little while and until I was feeling better in myself. It gave me that time to talk to mum without the pressure of leaving her and having her worry. However, everyone was adamant that I just had to rest and they would get me anything I needed. I didn't want to be so reliant, but they insisted.

This wasn't exactly how I envisioned mine and Lando's summer break to pan out.

"Can I get you anything?" Lando stood up and brushed himself down, before stretching his arms above his head. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Would you like the television on?"

"Lando," I chuckled at him whilst reaching out for his hand and successfully taking hold of it. "Stop. A cup of tea would be lovely. That's all."

"Of course." He stood up from his uncomfortable position on the soft carpet, pressed a kiss to my forehead, then disappeared into the kitchen.

I sighed, closing my eyes and stretching my legs beneath the blanket which covered my body and kept me toasty warm. I felt like a burden to everyone. However, I wasn't letting those negative thoughts consume me anymore. I couldn't. There was absolutely no way I could end up so stressed to the point where I thought I was having a heart attack. It was unfair on myself and my family.

I could hear the kettle boiling in the kitchen. Mum came through, probably leaving Lando to make some tea, and she sat on the sofa opposite me.

I think she knows that I need to talk to her.

Mum was very good at her job. She took pride in her profession and that reflected in her status as a well-known, well-respected therapist throughout the system. People paid a lot of money for her time. I was proud to call her my mum.

"Hi, darling," she smiled. She looked exhausted, and I wasn't surprised. She took time off work - a family emergency - to be right by my side to care for me. I told her there was no need, but it also seemed like she just wanted to spend time with me. Like the rest of my family and Lando's, she was terrified. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," approaching this situation calmly was the only way to prove to mum that I meant what I was saying. "How are you, mum?"

"Okay," she nodded. "Pleased now that you're home safe. It was so scary to see you like that, thinking I was going to helplessly watch you die in Micah's arms."