To Be With You (Westlife Fan Fiction) Completed

Chapter 19 - New friend

"Bryan... I'm sorry to say, but that's the way you would let us all down."

"I would fulfil the tour, of course. But after then... I don't know, Louis."

Louis knew there were seriousness behind those words. "I think we should take this chat after the show." He put his hand on Bryan's arm. "Okey?"

"Yeah."

•••••••••••••••••

"So... I guess you expect me to ask about that particular guy, aren't you?"

"His name is Bryan." I said and rose to walk out to the kitchen. "And I'm hungry."

"We have some soup, honey." My mum rose to catch up with me and to warm the soup.

Of course I was expecting my mother to be curious about, what after all had been big headlines, about me and "that particular guy". But I can't lie and say that it felt natural, especially not when I hadn't told her about the break up with Derek. Maybe I should start with that part.

"Uhm... Just so you don't think anything, like... You know, that I wasn't fair towards Derek when I..."

"I understand that it has ended between you and Derek." She said crouched while slamming with the pans, searching for the right one in a cabinet underneath the sink.

"Yeah... And it was before Bryan and I..."

Mum looked up from where she sat crouched on the floor.

"I haven't cheated on anyone... That's basically what I'm trying to say." My mum had always rose me up to always be truthful, and I guess that's what I was trying to live up to. But in that moment I was over weighting wether I was entirely truthful. The answer depended on the definition of cheating. I had after all been kissing Bryan while still being with Derek.

"But that Ryan, he has a wife, doesn't he?"

I began to be filled with irritation and I started to wonder where we were going with this conversation.

"Yeah, but that has it's own story and his name is Bryan, mum."

"I don't blame you. I think that boy acted irresponsibly. I'm just glad he didn't take it any further."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think it's good that it didn't end up being "you and him"."

"Mum..." I was surprised by her statement. "You really know nothing. How can you say that when the only fact you have, is what the magazines want everybody to think. And that is only, and I mean only, to make Bryan look like a complete ass, and partly Westlife too."

She looked ashamed when she responded. "All I thought about was that I don't want you to get hurt." She poured the soup into a bowl and placed it on the counter behind me. I grabbed the spoon and ate the soup during silence and my mum started to clean the counters.

"How was the working?"

Finally some less frustrating questions.

"I know I want to be choreographer, I know that."

"Well that's good, don't you think? I had to try four jobs before I found the right one for me."

I reached her my bowl and spoon after I'd finished the soup.

"Were they easy to cooperate with, the guys in Westlife?"

"I couldn't have better people to work with. They were professional and still fun. The whole crew made me feel like one in the team, you know."

Mum noticed my wistful look. "You miss it, don't you?"

I couldn't reject my tears from filling my sight and at last making their way down my cheeks. I immediately covered my face. I've never liked crying in front of people.

"Honey..." My mum hugged me but I rejected her.

"I threw my dream away! I ruined my dream and I will never get that chance again. And I might never meet those people again!" It hurt so bad to hear myself confirming it to myself. I didn't know if I would ever see them again. Maybe I had seen Bryan for the last time. He may just be an impossible vision in my mind. He was married, and that fact was still not out of the picture. And maybe, forgetting him would save a lot of tears.

••••••••••••••••

They walked off the stage and went backstage. Louis waved for Bryan to finish their chat.

"You probably get that I wouldn't be very pleased with you leaving the band. That could be the end of Westlife, you know that?"

"I know, I've thought about it. But you know... I have things outside Westlife that I need to sort out."

"Think this all over and fulfil the tour at least."

"I will, I promise."

"And one more thing... Have you spoken to any of the other lads?"

"No, they don't know."

"Good, let it stay that way. I don't want them to start worry or loose focus."

"I understand."

••••••••••••••••
A month later - May 2003

"Hello dear, how was your day?"

"It was ok. I'll meet up with Abbey and some others soon."

"Do you stay for dinner?" My dad sat in the living room tapping on his laptop.

"No, I'll just grab something before I go." I went to my room to change clothes. It was Friday afternoon and Abbey, Babs and some others from school had decided to watch a movie together, and I was included.

I was back in college. Thanks to my dad, they accepted me to continue my education and start on the second year. But my days were stressful. I had to catch up everything I'd missed since I started late. And I hated it.

Just a week ago, I had been introduced to Abbeys friend Alex. He seemed really sweet. Abbey even meant he had a thing for me. I mean I had nothing to remark on when it came to his appearance. He was just my height, dark-eyed and dark-haired. And his British accent was dripping from every word he pronounced.

I changed into a white top with a print saying "Don't Stop" in purple. I kept the same blue jeans but let my hair down in their natural waves.

My mum stopped me in my way out of the apartment. "Lauren! I hope you remember we're going to Sweden next week."

That would stay to be just my mums hoping.
"Was it this week?"

"Yes. As I've told you, I don't know how many times."

"Sorry, have a lot in my head."

"Very well, just don't forget it. And-"
I was just an inch from stepping outside the door, but froze to listen to my mum. "-why don't you bring a friend with you?"

"To Sweden?"

"Mhm." She nodded enthusiastically.

"You mean Babs or Abbey?"

"Well... I thought more about that new friend Alex."

I was really surprised by her suggestion. "I'm not sure if he would like to come. We've known each other for a week, mum."

"But you can ask and see?"

"Alright then..."

•••••••••••••••••

It was Monday and time to leave Cardiff. Alex would join us to Sweden, meeting my Swedish family and see another part of Europe. He was a good looking guy. Maybe this trip could bring us closer. That's what I was hoping for.

(Video: Westlife - how does it feel)

AN: I know I've made you wait again. But to figure this whole story out and write it in an exiting and logical way, it has to take it's time. I'm sure you understand! And thanks for still reading :) (April 16 2015)