Dwindle [Motough]

{Chapter 4}

Beth's POV

I ran the fiery red brush through my hair. I pulled away to see that a surplus amount of hair had come off. Wasn't hair loss one of the symptoms of chemo?

I picked the hair off the brush and threw it away. I went downstairs and into the kitchen. There I saw on the counter, a plate of my favourite breakfast food, blueberry pancakes. There was a note beside the table that read To my beautiful Beth. I sat down at the table and began to eat the pancakes.

I heard Derek walking down the stairs. He was in a sky blue flannel and a pair of loose jeans. He held a single rose in his hand. "Good morning, Beth", he said. "Good morning, Derek", I replied. He got onto one knee,"would you, Bethany Mota, like to go on a date with me". My heart melted at his romantic gesture. "I would love to",I replied. He stood up,"would you accept this rose", he said. "Of course",I answered, a bachelor reference. Oh, did Derek know me too well.

***

He took me to a casual restaurant for lunch. I wore a purple pencil dress and a pair of black flats with a small heel. Derek wore a yellow flannel and blue denim jeans.

We sat down and soon after, a waitress came to our table. "Welcome to Karen's Diner, what would you like to order?", she asked. "Um, I'll have a hamburger with a side of fries and coke", Derek answered. She scribbled down his order and turned to me,"And you, miss?". "Um, I'll have spaghetti and meatballs", I answered. She wrote down my order and walked away.

We sat there silent for a few seconds before Derek finally spoke up. "I love you", he said. "Well, I love you as well", I answered. My lips formed to a subtle smile.

He smiled back...

A few minutes later, our order arrived. I twisted the spaghetti around my fork and ate it. There was a string of spaghetti that was hanging from my mouth, so, I sucked in and slurped it into my mouth. We both laughed at my my lack of formality.

About halfway through my meal, my stomach began to ache. I began to gain fatigue and my vision became spotty. I felt an immense squeezing feeling in my stomach.

"U okay, babe", he asked. But before I had a chance to answer, the spaghetti cascaded to the floor out from my mouth.

All eyes turned towards us. One of the employees rushed over to us. "Ma'am, are you okay", she asked.

Derek slipped out of his seat and stood up. All I could make out was mumbling between the employee and Derek as I slowly faded in and out of consciousness.

"Beth, Beth, can you hear me", Derek asked. I let out a faint nod. I felt a tingle as Derek wrapped his arms around me and picked me up.

He carried me, bridal style, to his car. I nuzzled my head into his right shoulder. I smelt his cologne as I inhaled. His chest heaved up and down as he inhaled and exhaled.

Amazingly, Derek unlocked the car and slipped me into the passenger seat all while carrying me. I let my head fall to the headrest of the seat. He guided a strand of hair out of my face and buckled my seat belt for me.

He got into the driver's side and began to drive. Neither of us said anything.

I ruined this dinner. Why did I have to have cancer? I'm dying but the pain of myself slowly decaying isn't as bad as me internally killing Derek. I hate to see him hurt, that seeing me this way is killing him. Many night, he cries himself to sleep and he thinks I don't notice but I do. I hate how he can't do anything without me royally screwing up. I...I hate that-the pain that had momentarily subsided was back, and it hurt so much. I felt chest pain and my back began to ache so much.

I let out a wheeze as my world started to spin around. My ears were ringing so loud and I became dizzy.

Derek turned his head to look at me. "Babe, you're pale. what hurts?", He asked worriedly. I attempted to answer, but all I did was let out an exasperated cough. He pulled over and stopped the car.

I clutched my ears as the ringing began to increase. I let out a shriek. Derek sat there, horrified, unable to move and unable cease the pain. He broke down in tears and punched the steering wheel, letting out a large honk.

Then the ringing began to decrease and the dizziness faded away. The chest pain began to disappear and the pain entirely subsides.

I see Derek is still sitting there,weeping while trying to keep his composure. I unbuckle my seatbelt and stretch over the the thing between the driver seat and the passenger seat and wrapped my arms around Derek. He gradually stopped crying.

"I'm so so sorry, Beth", he said. "No, I'm sorry, I had to ruin everything for you thanks to my stupid cancer", I answered.

He let out a whimper at the word cancer. I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his and gave him a short kiss. Then, he pulled away.

"C'mon, let's get home", he said.