Starsky and Hutch: Too Close To Home

He Already Knows

I leaned up from kissing her forehead to see peace on her face for the first time since we got her back home. She kept her eyes closed as I rubbed my thumb over her hand. She took a breath before opening her eyes to look at me. I had a smile on my face as I looked at her. She looked over at the table and then back at me. I looked at her and said, "What is it sweetheart?" She looked back at the table as she moved her mouth some. I looked down before I said, "Do you want water?" She blinked once as I nodded. I got the water, held it to her mouth and lifted her head some as she drank some water. "Take it slow," I told her as she started to drink a little too fast. Once she was done and I put the cup back on the table she laid back again. After a moment she looked to her left side and saw her parents for the first time. Her eyes filled with tears as she tried to speak. I watched as mom took her hand before speaking to her softly, "Don't talk honey, you need to rest your voice." She was still trying to speak so her dad helped out. "Kiddo," he said as she stopped and just looked at him. That name has always been her favorite because that is her nickname that only her dad calls her. She just watched as he started to rub her head. "I know you want to talk; I know you are scared and worried. But you are safe now, David is here and see are we. You're not alone and you won't ever be alone. Please don't try to talk till you know you are ready and till then we can always use the old system." He said so softly as they both looked at each other.

As he spoke I wondered what system they were talking about. "Dad, what system are you talking about?" I asked as I looked at him. He looked up at me and said, "The one we came up with the first time she was taken. She couldn't speak for a week after being back, so we came up with a system." All of a sudden, I felt Angel tense up, I looked down to see her pale face and looked at her dad in shock. Before I could say anything, her mother spoke, "Honey listen to me." Angel started to shake her head but then winced in pain. I held her hand tighter as I rubbed her arm. "Sweetie listen to me, David knows about what happened when you were 16." Her mother continued. She stopped to look at her mother as a few tears ran down her face. She then looked at her dad and then at me. Tears came to my eyes as I saw more pain and hurt in her eyes. I knew it wasn't from the pysical pain that she was in. "It's okay baby, your mother told me about it. I'm so sorry that you went through that, and I now understand a lot more as to why this case affect you more than most." I said softly.

She just looked at me before she turned her head to look straight ahead of her. She didn't move, she didn't do anything but just looked straight ahead of her. I can see the fear all over her face. I sat on the bed very lightly, so I didn't hurt her. "Babe, look at me." I spoke calmly to her. She didn't look at me or blinked. "Angel, please look at me." I tried again. I smiled when she slowly turned her head to look at me. "I need you to listen to me, okay?" She blinked once before I spoke again. "I would like to ask you a few questions if you are up for it?" I asked her. I need to know what she is thinking before I tell her what I know she needs to hear. She blinked once again as I smiled at her. "Are you upset that I found out about it?" She just looked at me for a moment before she blinked twice but it was hard for her, I can tell. I nodded at her before I asked another question, "Are you upset that you weren't the one that told me?" She looked down for a moment till I saw her shrug her shoulders very slowly as she winced in pain. I just looked at her trying to figure out what has upset her the most when I heard dad ask her a question, "Kiddo, are you scared David will leave because he now knows or that you didn't tell him?" She looked up with tears in her eyes as she blinked once. There it is, I thought.

I squeezed her hand as I put my other hand on her face, and she closed her eyes. She leaned into my touch as I rubbed my thumb over her face. "Sweetie, please open your eyes and look at me." I asked her. She opened her eyes as a tear rolled down her check which I was fast to wipe away before I spoke. "Babe, I'm not going anywhere and I'm sorry you were not the one that got to tell me about it. I know you probably wanted to be the one to tell me and, on your timing, when you knew you could tell me. But your mom told me in hopes it would help me through the time you were gone....." My voice cracked as I took a breath. I felt Angel squeeze my hand and I squeezed back. "Babe, it not only helped me, but it made a lot of sense. Looking back now, I can see why you acted the way you did when the woman screamed that day you came to see me at work. I see why you were so upset about a little one getting.........ummmmmm.....killed." I said before I took another breath. I looked down for a moment to hide my tears before I would keep talking. But I felt a hand on my hand that was on her face. I looked up to see Angel holding both of my hands, tears in her eyes as she mouthed, "Don't." I just smiled weakly at her as she brought her hands up to me. I looked at her so confused as well as worried. "Angel, please don't hurt yourself." I told her and she moved her hands back down to her sides with tears rolling down her face.

"Babe please don't cry, I don't want you to hurt yourself." I said with worry in my voice. She started to cry a little harder and that made her get sick again. Dad held the trash can while I sat on the bed with my back up against the back of the bed and Angel was leaning on me. Once she was done, mom wiped her mouth and she leaned up against my chest. She let out a sigh as she snuggled up as close as she could get to me. She closed her eyes while she had her hand on my thigh. I had my arm around her as I rubbed her arm. That was when it hit me, that was why she was reaching up to me. She wanted to be held and I didn't get the hint. I kissed her head as I thought, I'm so sorry babe for not seeing it. I hummed softly to her till she fell asleep in my arms. I smiled down at her as she slept in my arms, and it felt amazing. I just wish we would be at home instead of the hospital but soon we shall be. I smiled up at mom and dad as they watched her as well. The only sound that was in the room was the machines but the only sound I heard was the sound of Angel's breathing.

The next few hours were rough for Angel. She woke up every 20 getting sick to her stomach and when the pain medication would wear off, she would have a pain attack. It was hard to watch her go through this but at least she wasn't going through it alone. She was finally back to sleep as the medicine had started working again. Mom and dad went to go get some food while I held my sleeping Angel. They told me they would be back something and I wasn't really hungry, but I knew that I still had to eat to keep my strength up. I had laid my head on her head and closed my eyes. Even with all the machines that were making a sound it was so peaceful in the room. I started to doze off when I heard the door open. I looked up to see Hutch walk in. I smiled as he walked over to the bed. We shook hands before he sat in the chair next to her bed. "How is she doing?" He asked while looking at his sister. "She is better now that she is awake, but it has still been very hard on her," I replied as I rubbed her arm. "How so?" He asked. I then filled him in on how she had been getting sick every 20 to 30 minutes, the pain she had been in and how she just wants to sleep.

Hutch shook his head as he listened to every word that his buddy was telling him. It saddened him to hear what his sister has been going through but he knew it would be over before they all knew it. "At least she woke up on her own and is fighting harder now." He said as he watched Starsky just nodded his head while looking down at Angel. "Buddy, how are you doing?" He asked with so much concern. Starsky looked so tired and worn out. "I've better be honest with you. Seeing her like this breaks my heart but I won't leave her for nothing. I will help her fight and get better." He replied as he looked at Hutch. Hutch nodded at him before asking, "Have you thought about getting some sleep yourself?" "Hutch, I'm not going to leave her. She is already scared as it is, and I just can't. I'll leave when the visiting hours are up but not till then." "Are you still staying with your parents while this is going on?" Starsky nodded and then added, "I won't go back home till I take this Angel home with me." Hutch nodded as he saw that she was waking up.

David could feel that his wife was waking up and he only hoped it was because she wanted to wake up and not for any other reason. Nope he was wrong, he saw that same look and he knew what was coming. "Hutch, get the trash can from the other side of the bed." He said really fast as Angel started to sit up. Hutch got up, ran to the other side and held the trash can up just in time. Angel got sick again but this time she cried through it all. I held her hair back and talked to her softly to keep her calm. Once she was done, I wiped her mouth and gave her some water. She put her head on my chest and she cried. I held onto her as tightly as I could as my heart was hurting for her. I could see that Hutch was worried, so I mouthed, "Concussion." He nodded as he knew what was going on at this point. Angel smiled up at Hutch as she reached her hand out to him. He took with a smile on his face as he said, "Hey, sis. It is good to see you." She smiled as she squeezed his hand. She then fell back to sleep and Starsky said, "That is how it has been all day. "Give her time buddy. She needs a lot of rest with all she has been through." Hutch said, Starsky nodded as he laid his head back on Angel's head.

Hutch stayed for a little bit before leaving to go home. After he left mom and dad came back. They gave me the food and ate it while holding Angel. We stayed until the visiting hours were up and I hated to leave again. I gave her a kiss on the head before I slowly started to get up. Her grip on my leg got tighter and it broke my heart to know that she didn't want me to leave. "I'll be back first thing in the morning. I love you very much and I'll see you very soon." I whispered to her and then tried to get up again. Her grip was still so tight on me, and I had an idea that would help her, but I'll get it to bring to her tomorrow. I was able to get up with the help of mom, I then kissed her forehead before we left. Once we got into the car, I looked out the window and hoped that tomorrow would come fast so I can get back to Angel.