Starsky and Hutch: Too Close To Home

He Is Dead

As I held Angel and try to calm her down, my mind goes to the one that hit her. I'm still very upset about the whole thing that she just told me, this jerk hit my wife more than once and the things that he told her. I would give this guy a piece of my mind if I ever ran into him. I felt Angel's grip get tighter on me as I started to rub her back. "Shhhh....I'm right here." I whispered to her. "You are tense," she replied. "I'm okay." She looked at me as she said, "No you're not okay, you are tense, and you are trying to keep your cool with me right now. David, what is wrong?" I looked down for a moment before I answered her, "It just upsets me that someone would treat you that way that guy did, and I would show him a thing or two if I ever met him." She brought one other hand to my face as she said, "I can promise that you will never meet him." "That is a good thing and for the best." She brought her hand down to lay it on my heart as she said, "David, he is dead and that is why you will never meet him." I sat there stunned for a moment as I tried to wrap my mind around what she just told me. I looked at her to see that she was turning pale and starting to shake.

"Honey," I said as I started to rub her back again in hopes it would bring her out of her thoughts. She didn't move so I said, "Angel." She then looked up at me as I asked, "Angel, why is he dead?" She shook her head no before she laid her head on my chest. I brought my hand up to her neck as I rubbed it. "It's okay, you don't have to talk about it." I said as she shook her head no again. I kissed the top of her head as she took a deep breath, she then sat up as she said, "One Friday night I was on the phone with my best friend, the only friend I had. She was driving and I don't know where to, but I knew what she was going to do. She wanted to kill herself and I was trying to talk her out of it. Then all of a sudden...." she trailed off as she closed her eyes before she continued. "There was a crash, and the line went dead. I found out later that he was driving the other car, he was drunk and high. It was a head on collision, both dead at the scene and I couldn't get that sound out of my head. It was awful, the worst sounds I had heard, and I never opened up to others after that. It scared me that bad, David, I'm so sorry." She looked at me with tears in her eyes as I asked, "Sorry for what?" "Not telling you sooner." "Oh honey, it is okay, don't worry about it." "David, please hold me and don't let go."

I pulled her in to hold her as tightly as I could. "I'm not going to let you go, I would never let you go." I told her. "I want the photos to leave my head, Davy. I hate the images; the sounds and I want it all to end." "I know you do, honey. In time it will get easier to deal with. You aren't the first person to deal with something cruel and you won't be the last. I know what it is like, and I know that you will make it through this. I'm not going to leave you at all, and we will get through this." "You what I'm dealing with?" "Yes Angel, I know what you are dealing with." "Are you talking about when you were in the military or as I cop?" "I tensed a little bit with that question. She knows I was in the military, but we never really talked about it. It was something I don't like to talk about, but I know at one time or another we will end up talking about it, but it is still really hard to talk about or think about. "Well, both, I have done some things I'm not proud of and it has taken time to work through some things. Before I met you, I shot a 16-year-old kid. He was on drugs, the gun he pointed at me was not loaded and I shot him. He was dead and it hurt me in more ways than one. It took me awhile to think clearly again after that and yes things happened in the military as well." I felt Angel's grip get tighter around me as I laid my head on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Davy, I really am. I know that there are things you can't talk about with your job but why don't you open up about some of the things you can talk about?" she asked me as she started to rub my back.

I let out a sigh as I whispered, "I thought you would leave me because of it." "What," she said as she pulled away to look me in the eyes. "David, I would never leave you for that reason," as she said that she got a look on her face as if a light bulb went off in her head. "What is it Angel?" I asked her. She brought her hand up to my face to wipe some of my tears as she said, "That is what you have wanted this whole time. You wanted me to open up to you." I just looked down but only for a second, but she had me look at her again. "Davy, I'm so sorry about all of this. I promise to talk to you more about what is going on. But please David, talk to me as well. I know it is not easy for both of us, but we can work through it together. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me walk out on you. I love you far too much to leave." I brought my hand to her face as I said, "Yes honey, I have always wanted you to open up to me but what you have been dealing with is a little different than the rest of the time. You do open up to me under different circumstances and I promise to give you time as I also promise to open up more to you. Yes, it is hard for me to open up, always have been but with you it is a little bit easier as time goes on. I have my moments where I get sad, upset or frustrated and I don't know where it is coming from. But somehow you know what to do without me saying anything. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," I said as I started to cry.