Deja Vu (countryhumans)

"...Your History,"

(FYI: this version of countryhumans look like how I HC they look like. Basically, they look like normal humans except their hair color matches their flags. So in this case, a country like Spain with that cute lil emblem they got wouldn't really be clearly seen on their flag, y'know what I'm sayin? So Spain could see his own emblem and be like 'yo wtf is this?')

Living with my sons is honestly amazing, and both of them are a joy to be around, however I can't help but be homesick... of that damned alleyway of all things. I go pay it a visit, waving hello to my former neighbors. I go into Roses bakery and buy myself a muffin with the twenty bucks Star gave me... it's strange, Star seemed rather upset, and wore a guilty expression every time he was near Kiyomi... perhaps he remembered something?

That has been something on my mind recently... what if I was a bad person in my past life? Although with the note America wrote me I think otherwise... unless I was an abusive father whom they wanted to gain favor from?

However, I don't think the memory wipe could've changed us that much... unless Brawn was actually an Angel before the Awakening, which I find unlikely. I guess everyone's true nature is revealed when they're started fresh. But on the flip side, most bad behavior is learned, so when you forget what you've learned you are back to that innocent neutrality. Oh, whatever, I guess I'll worry about that if I start becoming a jerk now. It's like Philip C. McGraw says, stand up and walk out of your history.

Admittedly, I feel like history is still important to take with you... maybe quotes aren't as reliable as I thought...

Since I have some leftover cash, I get a Miller Lite. It wouldn't hurt to pay my best friend a visit. Wait-

Didn't he ask if we were like... more than friends?

Hmm...

I don't think he meant it in the way I think he meant it, and even if he did it's not like he likes me or anything... he was just making sure that I didn't because he doesn't like me... or at least, he doesn't like me...

Yeah, that's it... nothing to fret over...

I go to his apartment, and he happily lets me in.

"I got you something!" I exclaim, holding up the Miller Lite. Miller smiles.

"Thank you Buddy! I've missed you, how's life with your kids?" Miller asks.

"Awesome, Milo and Kiwi are super fun, and Milo is helping me look for a job!" I exclaim.

"That's great!" Miller exclaims, getting a bud light out for me. We sit on his balcony and drink our drinks.

"How is it?" I ask.

"It's alright," Miller says. I chuckle.

"Yeah, we really named ourselves after the more mediocre beers," Buddy said. Miller shrugs.

"Who gives a crap? Only a**holes will criticize someone for drinking the 'wrong' beer," Miller said. I nod.

"Yeah, really... well... I gotta ask you something, but it's not at all a big deal... at all," I say.

"Mhm?" Miller says.

"Um... you don't... like me like me... right? Because you know, we're best friends, practically brothers, so you don't like me do you?" I ask. Miller looks at me, and I realize I might sound like I don't want him to like me... which, I mean... I don't want him to not like me, but there's no way he does like me... right?

"Buddy, if you don't want me to like you, just tell me," Miller said.

"Whaaaaat nooooo you just don't like me right? Because you just think of me as a friend. And friends don't like each other like that," I say. Miller looks pissed, and I realized that crap, he probably likes me, and now I sound like a condescending jerk.

"Look Buddy, I see what you're trying to say, so you don't have to rub it in," Miller snapped.

"I didn't mean it like that! I-I just-,"

"Just go Buddy, I don't feel like this right now," Miller said.

"We're still friends right?" I ask desperately, hoping this awkward conversation doesn't ruin things... I probably shouldn't have said this though, because Miller glared at me.

"Yeah, we're just friends. You've made that painfully clear. Just get out," Miller said. I back away and go back inside. I begin making my way to the door... but I see a strangely familiar emblem in the form of a pin sitting on Miller's table. I pick it up and study it... I've seen this before

"What are you doing? I thought I told you to leave," Miller spat. He then realizes what I'm holding. "Hey! Don't touch it!" Miller exclaims, trying to grab it from me. I instinctively back up and hold it possessively in my hands.

"I'm just looking! I remember it! It could be mine!" I exclaim.

"Oh, so just because you vaguely remember something it's yours now? Guess what, I remember it too! So give it back!" Miller exclaims, grabbing my arm and trying to pry the pin out of my hand. I give in and let him take it. He stares down at it and gently caresses it with his finger.

"Mil-,"

"Buddy, I'm not in the mood for an argument-,"

"Neither am I,"

"...look... I'm sorry ok?" Miller says.

"For what?" I ask.

"You know...," Miller says. I really don't, I haven't been anything but a jerk this whole visit, and I also can't tell if he's apologizing for the pin or the... liking thing. I sigh.

"Hey, let's go get a bite to eat... Kiwi told me about a place near the lake with really good fish n chips," I say. Miller nods.

"Alright... that sounds nice," Miller says. We head out, and just talk. Not about the whole 'liking' thing... I think we both need some time to process that... just about life.

To be honest, I don't know if I like Miller- I'm far too inexperienced with love to know- but I sure as hell don't wanna lose him. So... we'll see.

(Sorry if this book isn't as romancey. I definitely love romance and want to add it in as much as possible buuuuut.....

I'm kinda reading this to my dad and I feel awkward reading kissy smoochy stuff to him lol)