Vanilla Boy

Chapter 9

Beam sat on the bed smiling. He was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and all buttons open, over a pale yellow t-shirt and black jeans.

His hair was neatly styled with raised bangs and accentuated the shape of his thick eyebrows. The vanilla scent from him made my heart beat faster than usual and I struggled to keep my hands from reaching him and squeezing his body in my arms.

I'm afraid, the Beam that is now in front of me is just an illusion that has haunted me for a week since he disappeared and will disappear again if I touch him.

I even had to hold my breath and back away until my back hit the wall when he walked through my door and stepped casually inside.

He took off his shoes and socks then put them neatly on the shoe rack near the entrance then walked over and sat on my bed.

Like a fool, I followed his movements without making a sound and just stared at him. This beam is real, but I dare not prove it.

"Forth? Are you sick? Why is your face pale and you have dark bags under your eyes," Beam said softly as he looked at me.

I am quiet. There was a feeling of tightness that I feared would soon explode, either into anger or tears. Neither is a pleasant choice.

Beam reached out and his touch made me flinch. He took my hand gently and brought me to stand between his exposed legs. I'm speechless.

Beam wrapped his arms around my waist and then, pressed his head against my stomach. I felt the friction of his hair tickle my navel and his smooth cheeks made the skin of my stomach tingle.

"B-Beam...w-what are you th-doing?" Damn! I stutter? I've never stuttered in my life.

I hear Beam sigh and his arms wrap tighter and tighter around my waist, pulling him closer to my stomach. Oh my God, I'm about to explode.

"Forth, I'm sorry," whispered Beam. His breath is warm against my skin. "I'm too cowardly and always run away, without feeling like trying at all. However, what happened two days ago made me not want to run anymore. I'm tired and want to stop. I need to stop and I think, actually I've found my harbor, it's just I don't dare toss and sink anchors to lean on. I'm sorry, Forth."

Really, I don't understand what Beam meant by what he said now. He looks different, from the last time we met. In a better way, I think.

I touched his head, stroking his silky, thick hair. "Beam, what's wrong? Why have you been missing for a week? Are you all right?"

Beam looked up and our eyes met. He smiled. Oh my God, I want to crush those cherry red lips with mine. "I am fine now, Forth. I really need this, hugging you and feeling your arms around me. Its feel like home. You are my home. You always a home for me, everything about you, even just a simple touch like this."

I moved, releasing his arms around my waist, so I could kneel in front of him. I cupped his face in my hands and tried to read his eyes. "Beam, what happened? Did someone hurt you? Or was it me, that made you disappear?"

Beam touched and grabbed my wrist which cupped his face. "No. It was me, hurting myself."

"Beam, please, I'm not smart enough to understand what's going on inside your pretty little head or what you're saying through your eyes."

Beam smiled and unexpectedly, he leaned his face towards me and kiss, he kissed my lips. A quick kiss he did with a smile.

I looked at him, fascinated. I brought his face towards me and kissed him. I touched his lips with mine, feeling the soft texture of those full lips, they were sweet and chewy like jelly.

I licked the surface of his lips with my tongue, licking him like a lollipop and sticking my tongue out further to enter his mouth.

A small sigh escaped Beam's mouth as he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out to meet me. He nibble on my lower lip as I explore every corner of his mouth and our tongues meet to dance together.

This kiss felt different. It is very gentle, careful, and full of patience. We enjoyed each other, expressed each other, and gave each other, all the pleasant feelings I had just realized were so beautiful.

Worry, longing, and love. Yes, as the intensity of this kiss increased, I became more and more convinced that I loved him. Beam Barame. He is the one for my soul.

"I love you, Baby, I love you," I whispered against the surface of his lips, as the thinning air forced me to take my lips off his.

Our foreheads pressed together and we were gasping for air, my hand remained on his face and his hand had moved to squeezing my bare chest. I feel hard down there.

"Forth, would you like to hear my story? I need to tell it to you, before I say anything in return. You might change your mind after hearing my whole story and I won't force you to change it. I'm just this you know, I'd be grateful. with you giving me the opportunity to open myself up."

I knew there was something very important I needed to do for Beam right now. Listen his story. Just listen to him.

I stood up and asked Beam to stand too. I removed the bed cover and led Beam up onto the bed, adjusting the pillows behind his back and making sure he was sitting comfortably against the pile of soft pillows and I followed, sitting beside him.

I tucked part of my body behind him so now he's leaning against my chest and my arms around his shoulders. I pulled his head into my shoulder and kissed the side of his head. "I hear you, Baby."

Beam looked up and looked at me. I smiled and touched the tip of his nose with my index finger. He kisses my chin and shifts to comfort himself in my arms.

"Forth," Beam sighed. "I am a patient of a mental hospital."

*****