In these last four months I've managed to keep myself busy and occupied. I had my online boutique up and running and it was doing well. My store was thriving also. I also had a new condo that I loved and it was all mine.
I missed the hell out of my friends but I decided to distance myself because I was going through so much and I didn't want to weigh them down with my sorrows and my problems .
Each one of them were in happy relationships and I didn't want to be a burden on them because mine had quickly turned into a shit show.
I was truly and genuinely happy for each of them, but seeing them made me realize what I once had and I couldn't bare it.
Mook really broke my heart , and just recently I finally got myself to a point where I didn't cry myself to sleep anymore , but all that changed about 2 days ago when I happened to be scrolling down my Facebook timeline and I saw a post from Kayla which led me to going on her page.
I didn't even know that we were friends on Facebook because that's the one social media site that I rarely ever went on. And like a dummy I scrolled on her page and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach when I saw that she was having a girl , Mook was at one of her doctor's appointments with her and the most hurtful thing of it all was a picture she took laying up in the bed that I picked out .
I was devastated, heartbroken and a wreck all over again. And for the last two days I've been sitting at home crying and sleeping , sleeping and crying. i haven't ate or did anything other than those two things.
But today when I woke up I took a long hard look in the mirror . I was worth so much more and sitting in this house crying and sleeping my life away wasn't going to get me anywhere. At that moment I channeled each and every one of my friends.
I thought about how Kai would hug me and tell me that it would be ok , and that we'd get through this together.
I thought about how Nari would give me the best advice and let me know to never let a aint shit nigga break me because I was so much stronger and better than that.
And of course how Yaya would make me laugh because she'd be down to kill this nigga if I wanted him dead, and then pour me a shot.
I even thought about the boys especially Capo. He was like the big brother that I never had, he always kept it real with me and let me know that I was a strong black queen. Rico would always tell Mook how good he had it because I was the coolest and calmest one. Even East would tell me not to let that nigga play with me and if he did he'd give me his gun to shoot him.
Just thinking about all of them made me feel a little better and also realize how hungry I was.
I decided to shower , put on some clothes and do something to this head of mine.
After I was finished I decided to take a picture and post it to my Instagram since I haven't posted anything in what feels like forever.
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