deuxième amour

III. -her pov-

Andromeda Jasphine

"if i can't kill him, i can have him killed. it works perfectly" i say to jay and zelva

they both share a glance like they think i might have lost it. i lost it 3 years ago. i lost it when he cheated on me

" 'rome you haven't been able to do it and it's been 3 years. you think you can do it now?" zelva asks.

i set my spine straight and jaw tight. of course i know he's been my weakness for longer than he should have been. but i can't bring myself to kill him with my own hands so i will use aldrin.

"I'm sure. i can't have weaknesses. not that he is one" i maintain eye contact with jay and he finally nodded

"I'll text him to meet up near an alley" i said and walked out the room

-

*flashback to freshmen year*

"omg- I'm telling you he's really cute and like really built-" viv continued explaining about the guy she has supposedly set me on a date with. but i didn't want to date, i was happy single.

if only my drunk self didn't promise to vivian that i would try to date last week. I'm never drinking again

"vi i don't want to, you know about my dad-" i start but she cuts me off

"i talked to him and he was ok with it. c'mon dude he's fineee and your babies would be hot" viv gushed. my face was hot from embarrassment

"we haven't even gone on a date for god's sake!" i hit her and she laughed loudly. vi always had this contagious loud laugh, one only she used when she was comfortable

"and if this guy is this amazing, you go date him" i looked down at my chapped nails. we were gonna get them done tomorrow

she glares at me and pinches my arm and i flinch "he's my brother's best friend! that's just ew. besides i have my eyes set on leif" 

oh right leif, vivians 'savior' who supposedly helped her once when she was getting bullied in junior high and it's been like they are soulmates since. well at least for viv. but i don't think its a one sided

"fine whatever i will go but i won't promise about any future" i point a finger at her and she grins like a devil

"yay name you baby after me" she called out as she walked to my walk in bathroom in my room.

i roll my eyes at her back

That week i don't know if i was happy or sad when the guy didn't show up to our meet up place. but i did meet kyle, one of the waiters who decided to sit with me when he watched me wait for 30 minutes with no one coming to sit opposite me

---

kyle was my only hold to my past life. the life i had before my dad and vivian left me.

adjusting to the mafia lifestyle was hard as in itself and over that i had to say goodbye to all my dreams, my hopes, my relationships. but i couldn't let go off kyle, because i knew i would go insane if i did

our relationship was rocky but that's all i could offer him at the moment. i could only see him once a week for 3 hours and i knew he saw the changes in me.

he noticed my arms getting bulkier from all the combat and gun trainings i was doing, he noticed my constant state of being overly-anxious but i couldn't answer him when he asked me whether i was ok

i truly wasnt

but that changed when i he told me he was having a child with another girl

he said i wasn't able to give him what he wanted- attention, love, affection- so he went to someone else and got her pregnant. he didn't feel guilty because he thought i was cheating on him too

that was the last straw. when i lost every sane part of my life and became the monster i am today. killing hundreds without a blink of guilt

--

he showed up. he actually showed up.

I'm gonna be honest i didn't think he would. but to be honest he didn't know i was a murderer. he still thought i was the nice girl from high school. too bad for him

"hey" he said breathlessly. i still remember when i used to swoon over his deep husky voice. what a loser i was

"you showed" i stated. neither of us had any emotion on our faces

he nodded and looked behind my back to the open side of the alley "i have been meaning to talk to you for a while." he took in a breath and then "she lied. the girl. she wasn't pregnant. we can get back together" he looked up at me with kind of pleading eyes

i was shocked. "what?" i asked

"i know I'm dick for cheating on you and I'm sorry, i didn't wanna leave you but i felt i had a responsibility with the child and- d i was pissed......you were hiding things from me-e and-" he looked up at me and then he seemed to make a decision. the next second his lips smashed on mine and he pushed me against the wall

my mind was hazy

i could have it back, i could have him back. maybe even a normal life. he apologized. he was my first love. maybe i can put this revenge away. maybe i can have the old me back, the nice sweet girl.

"aldrin just turned the street" Jay's voice spoke through my ear piece

i smirked into the kiss and kyle's eye furrowed

i don't want my old self back

then i pulled away from kyle and kicked him in the knees. he doubled over in pain and i crouched just enough to reach his ear

"apology not accepted" with that i turned to the alley way opening and i saw aldrin's shadow in a distance. perfect timing

i took off my long coat and threw it over into the dark part of the alley. underneath i had torn and dirty clothes which made it look like i was attacked. by now kyle was a little normal and he looked up at me

"what the-" i cut him off by letting out a scream. kyle's eye widen as he covers my mouth and when i hear a gun being clicked i smirked internally and kneed kyle again. then i run out of the alleyway and immediately saw aldrin

his eyes widen when he sees me and my attire. i run to him with tears in my eyes. he seemed to get out of his daze and met me halfway and held me by the cheek, looking over for any injuries

"what- are you ok?" he asked in a worried voice. god i was a great actor

i pretended to choke on a sob and starting shaking my head violently "th-ther-e is a-a g-gu-uy and he tri-ed t-to" i didn't finish the sentence and broke out into 'sobs'

"stay here" he told me and i nodded my head while still crying. i smirked as i watched him secretly pull out his gun and walk into the aisle

i waited to hear a gunshot. i hated that a part of me was scared for kyle. a stupid part of me that will have to die with kyle

but all i heard were grunting and aldrin's low menacing voice. it could catch anyone off gaurd

when i hear silence, i know he's coming back out. so i sit on the curb and my shoulders started to shake. thanks to the cold, it helped me keep my cover

when i feel a hand on my shoulder, i shook it off. I've seen many girls after they were attacked sadly. i knew how to act

"hey it's me"

he came to sit beside me, keeping his distance. in my plan he was supposed to have me in his arms but he sat away

so i did the cliche 'girl falling asleep on the shoulder' thing as a way to have skin touch. he tensed but didn't pull away

a few minutes later i felt him pick him up and start walking to his car. i started to freak, this was not the plan. he was supposed to drop me back to the bus stop but i know for a fact he's taking me to his house

"don't panic. I'll keep an eye on you, go to his house it will make you closer and important to him. by the time i will make sure they take away kyle" jay said into my earpiece "if you heard me, silently take out your ear piece"

as kyle sets me down, i do the sleep turn and sneakly take out my ear piece and as aldrin drives, i silently crush the small objects. he can't find it on me. then somehow i fall asleep