Rainy days

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"Depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die"

TW:Descriptions of abuse and depression

Hailey was discharged and walked out to the waiting room. Jay stood up from where he had been previously bouncing his leg. He hated the hospital, but he hated it more when Hailey was in.
"Everything okay?" He asked Gesturing towards the cut on her arm.
"Uh, yea. Had to get some stitches but yea. All good." She said as they walked out, got in the car and drove back to the precinct.

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As Hailey entered the bullpen she was spotted instantly.
"Brad?" Haileys whole body seized ad he stood and walked over to her "I...uhh thought you had to work today?" she tried averting her eyes from everyone, Brad included, which was hard since they where all sat at their desks which seemed to perfectly surround her. She panicked so she ended up looking at her shoes, looking like a small child being told off cause they broke a vase.

"No I managed to get the day off, where were you last night? You didn't come home, I was worried." he roughly grabbed her wrist as she was edging towards her desk. Her teeth came down on her tongue to stop from wincing since her wrist was already bruised.

"Uhh I had to stay late, to work on a case and I had paperwork after that I really needed to get ontop of so I" he had tightened his grip and she stopped, just short of a gasp, "I uh, decided just to stay here overnight. Napped in the break room"
"hmm, anyone stay with you?"
"yea uh, Kim till pretty late. She must've went home at some point while I was asleep." She was really hoping she would catch on and not say anything, Brad looked towards Kim, who Hailey had nodded towards, as if expecting her to tell him she was lying.
"Yea, yea left about 4, half four? She was asleep" Kim didn't know why Hailey had to lie about being at Jays but figured she had good reason so went along with it.

Hailey didn't like doing this infront of everyone but Brad seemed adamant on doing so. Probably to humiliate her. It was working.
"Huh, ok i have to go, but be home tonight okay?" He looked pointedly at her. Tightening his grip again.
"Uh sure" She had noticed everyone, including voight was watching so she decided not to say anything else. Being in a room FULL of detectives, it wouldn't be long before one figured it out and Vanessa was starting to be that one already.

He gave her a squeeze for "reassurance" and went on his way.She saw him out but as they passed the corner where no one could see he pushed her, and slammed her head against the wall "DONT lie to me. I could tell Hailey. Come home tonight, dont stay at a friends, or I promise you. I will find you again, this time by yourself" He spit in a harsh whisper in her face. She had a cut on her head but he didnt care, She couldn't really even feel it.

She nodded weekly and went back. Never had Hailey been this scared around any boyfriend. She went to sit, trying her hardest not to ring her painful wrist out of instinct. But as she sat she shot up, a sudden pain shot through her thigh, she played it off as forgetting something and going to the locker room. She went to lock the door but just found it was broken. She slammed her hand against a few lockers and the sink.

She proceeded back to the locker and hit her hand against it repeatedly and groaned loudly. Her back made contact with the wall of lockers as she slid down, on the edge of crying. She didn't know where any of this was coming from. Nor did she like it. She was just so done with him. And now to make a scene infront of her friends, her colleagues, her team FULL of detectives.

He was playing a terrifying game of Russian Roulette with their secret. That or he was just stupid

She wanted SO BADLY to scream, wished this would all go away. She was SO exhausted. So tired of having to cover bruises, cuts, scrapes. Having to be hot daily cause she was either wearing a hoodie or a long-sleeved.  So sick of having to hide this from everyone. Her heart hurt. Something she told people she partially wore on her sleave was just a badly ironed on cover up patch.

And it was slowly falling apart.

She suddenly felt a hand on her back and legs.
She had tucked them as close as possible to her chest. Her forehead was resting on them with her hands wrapped tightly around her calf's. "HAILEY!" It was at the sudden jolt of a voice she realised she was crying hysterically. But she didn't care. She really didn't. Nor did she have the energy enough to stop it.

"Hails can u hear me?" She heard the voice slowly creep in and out. It was familiar but her head was so full she drowned it out. Thinking it was just another thought floating around. She was so done. Everyday was exhausting. And painful.
She wished someone would belive her. But everytime the thought of telling someone would cross her brain a sharp scratch of red would be drawn through it. Replaced with 'they won't belive you'. Everything in that horribly familiar voice.

She didnt want to lift her head to see if those voices where real or fake. To see if she could put a body to them. But didnt feel like she could. Couldn't tell whose voice she was hearing. Or if it was a real voice or not. nor did she really care. She seemed to be doing the whole "not care" -ing thing alot lately. She was just too tired to care. She hadn't had a good nights sleep in weeks.When she wouldn't answer, the person stood and rushed out.

A/N: So sorry for the late upload. I've had a busy weekend and been sick but finally have the update for you. The next part will be heavily based on the panic attack in S9.

Now here's a question: how did you come to start reading this fanfiction? Was it recommended? Did you find it? If so how? Answer and interact In the comments

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