WE NEED MEMORIES (HAIKYUU MIYA TWINS FANFIC)

Chapter 20: ATSUMU'S ENDING

"Okay. I'll make sure to give it a read."

Ms. Nakamura: I'm going to get some coffee, and I think I have to.. take a call. Would you mind holding down the fort for me?

"Of course Ms. Nakamura." The wink she gave me didn't escape me as I looked down at the letter in my hand.

FLASHBACK

Ms. Nakamura: I want you to sit in a quiet place and think about all things you'll miss when it turns out forever isn't quite as long as you thought

END OF FLASHBACK

Which means that whoever this person is... I'm what they'll miss when forever comes to an end. Someone would miss me. Please don't be him, please be anyone, but him. There it was... at the top of the paper written in his barely legible chicken scratch, Atsumu Miya. Could I read this, his personal thoughts? I shouldn't, but...I know... these are all things he probably wanted to say but couldn't. Okay... here goes nothing.

I want to start this off by saying that sitting in a quiet place and thinking about all things that I'll miss when forever ends is borderline depressing. I am who thinks about the things they like disappearing instead of enjoying the moment?

Anyway, forever, the future, memories, I can honestly say I've never given much thought to any of them. Originally, I had some trouble with this assignment, but a good friend told me to just sit and write, so that's what I'm doing. She said "Tsumu, no matter how terrible you write, your grade is being determined by completion, submission and sincerity, so just do write whatever pops into your little head for me, okay?" (F/N)'s book-smart, but above anything else the girl is an idiot. She's "a creature of habit", just like she said all setters were.

Tsumu, she only calls me that when she really wants something. I like when she calls me that, because when she is really angry, she calls me Atsumu and she kind of sounds like my mom. Tsumu is a special name though, it's a name I got when we were kids. Her, Samu and Mia are the only ones allowed to use it; but she knows that. So, when the time comes, and she pulls out this voice then looks at me with those eyes and asks for whatever she wants to ask, I can't say no, especially not when she ends it with a "for me."

It's a cheap and dirty trick, if you ask me. Placing those two words at the end of any request, is like bringing a gun to a knife fight. She really is an idiot if she still doesn't get it. After all these years, after all she's done for me, I would do anything for her and all she has to do is ask. I'm not sure when it happened, but I can't really remember a time when I didn't love her. One day I met her in the gym and then she became the only thing I could think about.

When she left the first time, I don't think those feelings ever went away. I think they stayed hidden, buried, in the darkest corner of my memories, almost as if they were waiting for the day she'd come back again. Any time they'd try to resurface, I'd push them down, and focus on my game instead. But when she came back this year, when I saw her in the same gym again, it was as if nothing changed, and all those feelings came rushing out. All those years of shoving down the feelings I had for her, they were useless and all she had to do was smile. I think that's what I'd miss most, if forever ended and I never got to see her smile again, I'd miss that the most. That's what this assignment is about right? Hold on, yeah, so it's that. Actually, it's not just her smile, I think if forever ended and there came a time where we were apart, it's her that'd I miss the most. This entire stupid essay, it's been about her the whole time, so yeah, it's her that'd I miss.

I don't like thinking about it, thinking about a time where we're apart again. Like I said in the beginning, it's depressing. I want to sit in the gym with her forever. I want to sit in silence and watch her smile because even when we're not talking, I'm still enjoying her company. I want to watch her laugh at me when I mess up, I want to see her serious face when she's explaining a new play. I want to see her make that little pouty face when I make the new "hard" play right away. And I want to see her get angry when I give her the same lecture on ball control, she's been drilling into me. I want to keep talking to her about everything in the world. I want to know how her day was and if I could make it better. I want to fight with her again. I shouldn't, but I do. I want to fight with her, because even when she's mad at me, she's still one of the most caring, selfless people I know. I want to sit around and do nothing with her, because she's her and even that will be the perfect experience.