love me; parmiga [major editing]

|12| Live More, Let Go

|12| Live More, Let Go

June 28, 2012; 12:00 a.m.

His lips were soft, and tasted like cherries. Hardin's, I think. That's what he told me. His hands were wrapped around my waist, and my hands were wrapped around his neck. The techno music blared in my ears. Hardin's touch, his kiss- was nothing compared to Evan's. I pulled away, and looked into his brown eyes.

"Hi," I giggled. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Hey," Hardin had great hair and a British accent. Guessing by the taste of his lips and his t-shirt, he liked cherries and Pink Floyd. "Taissa, right?"

"Yeah, and I remember that your name is Hardin." I was a little drunk, but so what? I was here to have fun. I grabbed the glass of red wine Hardin bought for me, and took a sip. "I can tell you like cherries, and Pink Floyd."

"How do you know?"

"The taste of your lips, and your t-shirt." I smirked. I genuinely liked Hardin.

"Ha, what are you, a part of the 'Behavioral Analysis Unit'?"

"You watch Criminal Minds, too?" I asked. I loved that show, it used to help me calm down.

"Hell yeah! Who doesn't?"

I laughed. "Right? We're such nerds."

"I like you, Taissa. Can I have your number?" he asked, flashing me a pearly white smile.

"Sure, give me your phone." He handed me his phone, and I quickly typed in my number. The old Taissa never would have done this. But I'm not the old Taissa. I gave him his phone back, and he slipped it in his pocket. "Great."

"Okay, call me later," I winked. I grabbed my glass of wine, and went to find Evan. As soon as I turned around, I saw Evan from across the club. We were staring into each others eyes. It was just like when we met. It was all awkward, but I couldn't break my gaze. Evan and I stood like this for a few minutes, before girls came over to him, and he looked away. The next thing I knew, he was making out with one of them (!!!). I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

I hate the way my body reacts to Evans. He touches me, and my skin burns. He kisses me, and my lips burn. He kisses someone else, or loves someone else, and my heart cracks into a million pieces. I need a cigarette.

I pushed my way through the crowd. "Excuse me, Brian." I hissed, walking through. I was always aggressive after I drank. I walked to the car. I pulled out a cigarette, light it, and inhaled. I tried smoke rings, and finally succeeded. I smoked two cigarettes before he came out.

"Taissa," Evan puffed, "I was looking for you everywhere. Why'd you leave?" I walked up to him, and slapped him across the face. I just could not control myself.

"You know I fucking love you to death, Evan!" I screamed in his face.

"Taissa, what?" He rubbed his red cheek.

"I love you. I love you! I'll shout for the whole world to hear. I! Love! You! I.. I can't stand being away from you, and your touch, and your kiss feels like fire burning my skin. I love you, Evan, and I want you so bad, but.. I can't have you!" I sobbed. He walked over to me, and pressed his lips against mine. Fire.

"I love you, too." he whispered, before kissing me again. I held his face in my hands, and he did the same to me. "I've loved you since the second I looked into your eyes at the party."

20 Minutes Later At Evan's Apartment

I raised my arms for him. And then he took off my shirt. I was in his apartment. Things had escalated quickly. As he laid me down on the bed, my mind was racing. What is happening? He placed gentle kisses down my neck, and a moan escaped from my lips. Who is this girl?

"Evan," I croaked, my voice hoarse.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you want to.. you know.. do this with me?" I was still shocked that he said he loves me back.

"I love you, Taissa. Of course I want to do this with you."

"Okay." He went back to kissing me. So I let him.

June 28, 2012; 9:30 a.m.

The bright rays of the sun shone through some curtains, and into my eyes, which woke me up. I just stared at the curtains for a minute, before I realized that those were not my curtains. Then, I realized an arm was wrapped around my naked body. All of last nights events hit me like a truck. I carefully picked up his arm, and plopped it on the bed. Crap.

I looked down at Evan, once I was safely out of the bed. He looked really cute sleeping. I went into the bathroom, and grabbed one of his robes. I wrapped it tightly around me, and went back into his room. I sat on Evan's bed, and just watched him sleep. Creepy, I know. But, like I said, he looks really cute. I don't know how long I was watching him before he woke up.

"Hey," he croaked, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey," I replied.

"That was.. fun." he smiled. Evan sat up, and started stretching.

"It was nice. But, we have to talk." I didn't want to talk about what happened. I just wanted to go with it.

"Uh-oh."

"Nothing bad, it's just, well... what was last night? I mean yeah, we had great sex a couple of times, but.. is it a one time thing?" I rambled. Evan took my hands in his.

"I want it to be a more than one time thing, Taissa," he assured. I sighed of relief. I didn't want it to be a 'one night stand', I wanted it to be a forever thing.

"Okay, good. I want it to be more than a one time thing."

"Great."

"Um, yeah. I'm going to go get ready," The awkward tension was so thick I could've cut it with a knife. I collected my clothes, which were scattered all over Evan's room. I went to his bathroom, grabbed a towel, and set my clothes on the toilet seat. I slipped off Evan's robe, and jumped in the shower. All of Emma's stuff was still in here. They did just break up yesterday, though. Her shampoo, conditioner, face cream, and her razors. I used all of her stuff, and used a spare razor to shave my legs. I had a slight temptation to cut, but thankfully, I didn't. I blow dried my hair with Emma's blowdryer. I used her old brush, too. Thanks, Emma.

I put my hair in a sloppy bun, and put back on the clothes I had on yesterday. I borrowed an extra toothbrush, and brushed my teeth. The aroma of pizza filled my nose as soon I left the bathroom.

"Evan?" I asked, walking into the kitchen. His apartment was rather small, but it was only for one or two people.

"Taissa," he smirked, his eyes lighting up when he saw me. "I made breakfast."

"You made breakfast?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I heated up pizza I had yesterday for dinner. It's just cheese."

"I love pizza." He handed me a plate, and I took a huge bite. I was starving. I didn't have dinner yesterday, and I barely touched Val's spaghetti she had made for lunch. We ate the pizza mostly in silence, the only sounds being the moans because it was so good. Usually, pizza that's reheated is really bad. This pizza, though, was an exception. I ate, like, 6 slices. I regret nothing.

"What you said earlier, how you love pizza, I can tell." Evan laughed, after I finished my 6th and final slice.

"Yeah, I really do." I took a sip of my glass of Coke. "I don't think I've had pizza for breakfast before."

"You need to live a little more." Evan sighed.

"What time is it?" I asked, ignoring his little comment. I know I need to live a little more. I know that I need to let go.

"Umm," He looked at his watch, "10:23." My jaw dropped.

"10:23!?" Oh, great. Now I'm going to be in trouble. Live more, let go. "Okay, cool." A smile formed on Evan's face.

"I still haven't showered yet." he smirked.

"Well, that won't do, will it?" I took his hand in mine, and led him to the showers. Live more, let go.