love me; parmiga [major editing]

|14| It's Not Cheating

|14| It's Not Cheating

July 1, 2012; 11:00 a.m.

Taissa: Hey Hardin, it's Taissa from the other night. What's up?

I didn't want to text Hardin. I mean, since I was kind of in a relationship with Evan, I didn't need to be in one with Hardin. But, Evan hadn't called me in three days, since the day we had our little rendezvous. He left me with no choice, I needed someone to hang out with. I got a text from Hardin almost instantly.

Hardin: lol i thought you wouldnt text me. ur way out of my league.

They way he texted me gave me the chills. I hated people who didn't text using proper grammar. It bugged me so much. On the other note, he said I was out of his league, but we both know that's not true. He's way out of my league. Hardin is kind, charming, and he has a great sense of humor. Also, he has a British accent.

Taissa: I'm out of your league? Please. You're accent is so hot.

Hardin: haha, thanks. wanna meet up somewhere ;)

Taissa: Can't. I got grounded for sneaking out that night we met. You can come over, if you want. I can text you my address?

Hardin: sounds like a plan. see you soon

I texted him my address, and tossed my phone on my bed. The old me would have never invited someone I just met to my house. Actually, the current me wouldn't do that. What if he's a psycho-murderer or something? I quickly dismissed that thought from my head. I need to be more positive, more wild. I need to let loose, and finally, for once, live my life.

I looked at myself in the mirror that sits on my dresser. My hair was down, and it was looking a little crazy. I grabbed my sparkly purple brush and stroked it through my hair several times, until I could comb it with my fingers, without getting a knot. I applied a little lip gloss, and applied some perfume. Just to spice myself up. I was already wearing shorts and a red tank top; nothing too special.

I grabbed my carton of cigarettes and my lighter, and I tried as hard as I could to sneak downstairs. Neither Valerie nor Amaya had talked to me since I had snuck out. I didn't really care. They were both just being hypocrites. Amaya had probably snuck out at least fifty times, and Valerie probably knew it.

I realized I hadn't been smoking a lot lately. I was kind of trying to quit, even though I never really allowed myself to get too addicted. If I craved one every five minutes, I would quit cold turkey, and then start up again. It seemed to work for me. I blew out the white smoke, and it dissolved in the air.

Once I finished, I threw the butt on the ground, and stomped it out. I went back inside, and as noiseless as possible, back upstairs, and into my room. Just as I settled in, my phone went off twice.

Hardin: almost there, see you soon.

I'm excited to see Hardin. From the few things I learned about him days a go, we had a few things in common. I checked the other text I got.

Evan: Sorry I haven't called you in days. I've been extremely busy. I'm coming over, and I'll be there in few minutes. Hope that's okay. :-)

"Fuck," I ran my hands through my hair. This isn't good. They were both coming over. At the same time. The man I love, and sort of have a sexual relationship with. The man I have a crush on, and want a sexual relationship with. Love was so freaking confusing, and I hate it.

I heard the doorbell ring, and I jumped up. I didn't want Valerie or Amaya answering it. I ran down the stairs, and reached the door right be Valerie. She scowled at me, before walking away. That's right, walk away. I opened the door, revealing a brown haired, brown eyed boy, holding a bouquet of flowers, with a goofy grin on his face. Hardin. I gave him a weak smile.

"Taissa! Hey!" He handed me the beautiful bouquet of flowers. I instantly recognized what kind of flowers they were- Dahlias. My favorite flower.

"How did you know?" I asked. I never told him they were my favorite flower. Wait- did I?

"Know what?"

"That Dahlia's are my favorite flower?"
"You told me. Don't you remember?"

"No, I don't." I laughed. I felt my cheeks turn crimson. I was extremely drunk, apparently. So drunk that I forgot what he said. Awkward.

"Oh." he laughed. "Can I come in?"

"Um, sure." As soon as I said that, I saw Evan's car pull up in, my heart started to pound. Things were about to get crazy. Real freaking crazy. Evan parked his car, and jumped out, and started walking towards the house. His eyes furrowed in confusion once he saw Hardin standing with me. He looked.. jealous? Evan walked past Hardin, and right to me. He pressed his lips against mine, right in front of Hardin.

"I see, I think I'll just go." Hardin said, turning around quickly, and walking to his car. He climbed in his car, and zoomed away, going, like.. 80 miles an hour.

"What the fuck, Evan?!" I screamed in his face, once we were inside.

"What?" He asked, looking all innocent.

"What'd you do that for!?"

"Do what?" he smirked. I rolled my eyes so hard, it actually hurt.

"You scared away my friend!"

"He was so not your friend. He gave you flowers!" He grabbed the flowers out of my hand, and threw them on the floor. Why did he do that? I felt the tears pool in my eyes, and I'm pretty sure he saw them. Evan tried to pull me in for a hug, but I shoved him away.

"So it's okay for you to not call me for days after we had sex, to scare away my friend, and to destroy my favorite type of flowers, but it's not okay for me to try and hang out with someone after I've been alone for days?! Fuck you, Evan. Get the hell out!" I screeched. He looked at me with pleading eyes, but I avoided his gaze by looking at the floor. Evan followed my demands, and left. I looked up to see Valerie standing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking at me with sympathetic look on her face. I ignored her, and ran upstairs.

Once I got to my room, I broke down, and just let everything out. I cried, for at least a half an hour. I am tired of crying, of getting hurt. It's happened to me so much now, I can barely stand it. Before I knew what I was doing, I was in my en-suite bathroom. I pulled my blades out from the bottom of my makeup bag.

"Hello old friend," I smiled, the tears still streaming down my cheeks.