Within The Shadows.✅ (WLW)

3 | Relief

I'm standing in front of my mirror, just staring at myself.

Wondering if this girl I'm seeing is me.

The girl who is engaged to the so-called love of her life, or is she so much more?

I can't help but wonder if my life would have been different if my parents hadn't seen that photo 5 years ago.

Would I still be in a relationship with Ava? Would I be engaged? All of these 'what ifs' swarming inside my head.

I have no idea how I'm going to face her after 5 years.

What am I going to say? What is she going to say?

*Ring*

The sound of the front gate breaks me out of my trans.

"Mel, the Larson's are here. Come downstairs please." My mother always said that you must greet your guests the moment they walk into the door, it's just good manners.

Coming downstairs, I can already hear my mom and Mrs. Larson speaking about the engagement party.

"Ahh, there is the soon bride-to-be. It truly is wonderful to see you again Mel. My word you have grown, how long has it been? 5 years?" She speaks while embracing me in a big hug.

"It is very nice to see you again Mrs. Larson." Most of my high school years Ava and I would be spent at her house because her mom was always home, and my parents weren't.

"What's all this nonsense about, you of all people should know to call us Emily and John." Mr. Larson says with a smile coming through the front door.

"Oh, hush John, we haven't seen her in years, don't scar her off now." After all these years I thought that they would stop their bickering, but it seems as if it just got worse. They seem even more in love than they were all those years ago.

Looking behind Mr. Larson to see if Ava is still outside but I see the door is already shut. Mrs. Larson must have seen me frown.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry but Ava couldn't make it today. She...ummm went to visit a friend." Mrs. Larson looks at me with nothing but sadness.

"Oh, umm no it's fine, I'm sure we will catch up another time." I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed that she didn't show.

Why would you be disappointed, you're getting married to the man you love?

"What a shame, she couldn't join. We haven't seen her in so long." I know my mum is only putting up a front because she despises Ava from the moment she laid eyes on that photo.

My parents thought it would be better if we kept what happened between Ava and me to ourselves and of course Ava as well.

She said it would be for my good. I just think she wanted it to be kept between us because she thought it would ruin our family name.

But I know from social media that Ava came out to her parents, and they support her every step of the way. Yes, I know, stalker much.

During dinner, the only thing my mother and Emily could talk about was the engagement party. Since Emily has volunteered to help where needed.

Nate was sitting next to me as we discussed a few things about the wedding.

"Okay, so when do you want the wedding to be?" I know Nate is trying to set a date because my father asked, but we only got engaged last night and we never really spoke about marriage before.

"I want a Spring wedding, not sure about the date yet." When I was a little girl, I would always imagine myself getting married in spring when all the new blossoms would begin to bloom. Also, it's not so hot or cold at that time of the year.

"Okay, so March, April?" I don't have the power to talk about the wedding or engagement party right now, it is draining me.

"Can we maybe talk about this tomorrow; all of the engagement party and wedding arrangements are starting to tire me out?" I ask him with a tired smile.

"Of course, I'm sorry." He says kissing me on the head.

After dinner, I disappeared into the garden just to catch a breather. When I was younger, I used to spend hours in our garden, just getting lost in a book. We have this big tree in the middle of the lawn where I would always sit in the shade, till my mother would call me in because it was getting late.

"You know it was strange not having you around after you graduated," Emily says walking up next to me.

I just stay quiet. I mean how do I tell the person who was there for me more than my mother was, that I wasn't allowed to visit them anymore?

"Ava told me what happened you know." I stare wide-eyed at her. "I knew you were together even before she came out to us, you two looked so happy." She continued.

"I was," I whisper, not sure if she could hear me or not.

"Now you look like you're just...existing, you're not living." She is right, I was happy. Enjoy my life, living my life. Being myself.

Now I don't know who I am anymore.

"Ask yourself this Mel. Whose life are you living, yours or your parents?"