Within The Shadows.✅ (WLW)

23 | Dug's

"No, you don't get it and you never will! Do you know why? Because you are not in my position, Ava and you will not ever be. So, stop trying to tell me you understand! And stop fucking with my head, I cannot manage it anymore Ava! I just cannot! One moment you are kissing me the next you are ignoring me then you say fucked up things to me! Just make up your fucking mind!"

Ava and I have been 'talking' for about an hour now but for the last 20 min that went out the window. Now hopefully I do not get a noise complaint from my neighbours for all this screaming.

"I'm sorry. God how many times do you want me to say that I'm sorry?! It is hard okay; do you understand what it feels like to see the only person you have ever loved end up with someone else? Do you Mel? Because I don't think you do." I can hear how Ava's voice is starting to crack and I can tell it is because she is so close to tears.

I always hated it when she would cry. I do not think anyone wants to see someone they love to hurt so much and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. To see the hurt in their eyes as they cry, is the most crushing thing to see and feel.

But at that moment I did not care. I was hurting so badly, it felt like my heart broke in tine pieces, why? Because she was right, I do not know how it feels to see the one person I love with someone else. Ava is not the one getting married, I am. I am not seeing the girl I have loved since high school get married, she is.

"You're right, I don't understand. But what I do understand is this, I get that you are hurting, and I know it is my fault and I am sorry Ava. God, I cannot tell you how sorry I am but that was 5 years ago, so please just try to understand this... I did what I had to do, it was you or my parents. Now who would you have chosen if you were in my position?" I ask trying my best for the tears not to fall.

Ava just stays silent. Giving me the answer that I needed.

"Look Mel. I did not come here to fight or..." but before Ava could finish her sentence, my phone rings.

Frowning, I tap decline.

"Ummm, aren't you going to answer that?" Ava asked frowning at me sceptically.

"No, it's Anna. I'm sure she is fine." I say hoping for Ava to continue but my phone rings again.

"For the person who left me and Ava alone to talk. You can't seem to actually leave us alone." I say when I answer the phone.

I am sorry you can continue your make out I mean make up later, but you need to get down to Dug's NOW! And with that she hangs up, nothing more.

"Everything okay?" Ava breaks me out of my stare at my black phone screen.

"Ummm... I think so... Anna wants us at Dug's like right now." I say hesitantly.

Dug is a takeaway restaurant a few minutes form my place, Anna and I usually get our food they are after a busy day.

Ava and I decided to take her car, since mine is already in the garage and hers was outside. On the start of the car ride, you could cut the tension with a knife.

Thank God Ava decides to end the silence "Look Mel, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said on the roof. I..."

"You were right." I interrupt her before she could continue. "You were right, I can't hide who I really am forever." I continue.

"Did you mean what you said?" I know exactly what she was talking about.

"Their " I ignore her question and tell her where to park for Dug's.

"Oh, thank you're here. Before I show you why you are here, I want you to prepare yourself and I want you to remember that you only deserves the world and what you are about to see have absolutely nothing to do with you." Anna says looking at me with sadness and pity in her eyes.

"For fuck sakes Anna, just tell me or show me or whatever."

When I walked into that restaurant, it felt as if my heart stopped beating, and I froze. I wanted the world to swallow me whole.