MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE ONESHOTS

the mandatory xmas special (part one)

(trigger warning for caps lock and language)

(children!! i have finally found the motivation to provide 4 u)

(now excuse me while i come up with a plot. i'll be back)

(update: okay i've got something!!!! let's go)

{{what gerard looks like in this fic above ^ if you'd rather imagine him 4 urself, don't look i guess :D}}

Ray

           "Ray, zank you zo much for zaving our blanet," an alien said with a German accent. "Zee Kalactic Forces vould like to avard you vis ein Sviffer Vet Jet." (Translation: Thank you so much for saving our planet. The Galactic Forces would like to award you with a Swiffer Wet Jet.)

           "Raaaay..." someone sings.

          Hey, that doesn't sound like the space alien talking to me... this person has a Jersey accent... like me... wait a minute, I'm dreaming. My fucking roommate is trying to wake me up. I pull the covers over my head.

           "RAY!!!"

           "Go away," I mumble almost unintelligibly. "Sleep," I say smartly.

          "No! Wake the fuck up!" he shrieks like a raptor.

          He pulls the covers off of my head and peels my eyes open with his grubby fingers. I slap his hands away and wince at the bright light.

          "What the hell, Frank?" I sit straight up.

          "It's nearly Christmas and I haven't gotten anything for Mikey or Gerard!" Frank cried. "They never even say anything about what they want!"

          I glare holes into his face. I hope he'll realize I want him dead, but Frank has an incredible superpower called pretending to be oblivious.

          "You woke me up for that?" I grumble. "Just get 'em something you think they'll like. You're a good friend." With that, I pull the covers over my head again. I should've known it wouldn't have been that easy. Frank tears off the covers again.

           "What if they think it's stupid, though?" Frank fretted. "What if I get them something they already have?"

          I grumble again and grab my glasses from the nightstand. I let the covers stay over my head as I stand up so I look like a ghost with limbs. The covers fall off shortly and I put the glasses on. Time for a cup of coffee.

          Hey, speaking of...

          "You could just get Gerard coffee," I suggested. I flicked the button on the coffee machine and readied my mug. "There's no way for that to go wrong unless it's decaf."

          Frank frowned. "Maybe, but that sounds lame." He pulled on a pair of jeans that sat halfway down his boxers... these weirdos and their dumb fashion statements. "And what about Mikey?"

          I shrugged and watched the delicious coffee pour into my cup. Actually, it's pretty shitty coffee — but if it ain't broke, don't fix it. "Maybe another shirt. He only ever wears that Anthrax one." 

           I zoned out briefly at a wall as I realized that Gerard and Mikey really never did discuss anything Christmas related. "Or maybe a Christmas sweater. You never see one of the Way brothers wearing Christmassy stuff. Maybe they don't have any."