My Journal

Let Her Go, India.

12/21/21
11:38 PM

Dear "India,"

Please don't try again. Please? Please don't put yourself through anymore pain. Your efforts will always be futile. Until your mother seeks therapy, nothing can be resolved. She will not be willing to listen. The weight of fixing your damaged relationship does not rest solely on your shoulders. You've done all that you can, and now she needs to do her part. And she's not ready. Please understand that you are not to blame for this. And please, please know that your feelings are valid, despite what she claims. I know that you want a healthy relationship with your mother, but you can't reach a resolution with someone who does not recognize that there's an issue. No, she recognizes that there is an issue, but she does not acknowledge the role that she plays within that issue.

Your mother is deeply troubled. She's extremely insecure. She is cold, bitter, and envious. She's unsatisfied. These are issues within herself that she must resolve, not you. Your relationship cannot be resolved until these issues are resolved. So please, for your sanity, stop trying.

I know that it's tough. You worry that the minute you decide to distance yourself from her, she'll drop dead. And you'll regret it. And you'll be overwhelmed with guilt for the rest of your life. That's why you try so hard to fix things between you two: because you know at any moment, you could lose the opportunity to... forever.

But do not let your anxiety confine you to a cycle of emotional abuse. Your mother will be fine. And if she's not fine, just know that you've tried. You've done all that you can. The rest is out of your control. It's time to move on until your mother is ready to accept the truths that taint your relationship.

India, please. Please don't try anymore. Please, I'm writing to you because I'm hurting right now. I'm hurting very badly. Your mother hurt me again, and she'll keep hurting me—hurting you—until you move on. Go, India. Keep finding yourself. Love your mother from afar; it's healthiest for you.

I love you.

- India