My Journal

It's Just A Game

12/27/20
11:10 p.m

Another fairly uneventful day. I haven't much to write about. Today was my dad's last full day here. He leaves tomorrow around 2 p.m, and I don't know when I'll see him again. I really wish it didn't have to be like this, being able to see him only a few weeks a year. But it is what it is, and all I can do is make the best of the situation, at least that's what everyone says.

I want to mention something, but I've admittedly been avoiding the topic in fear of my boyfriend reading this journal one day. But I've decided to keep this journal private because I want to document as much as I can as accurately as I can.

So let me explain:

I have a friend, no, a best friend that I've known since eighth grade. (I had a crush on him in eighth grade actually, but that ship has long sailed.) Anyway, he's my closest friend, and I text him everyday. Honestly, I suspect that he has a crush on me. I don't have any evidence right now, just a feeling—and my gut's usually right. But if I told my boyfriend this, he wouldn't feel comfortable with me talking to my friend anymore. He wouldn't force me to stop talking to him, but he'd voice his discomfort, which would ultimately lead me to want to stop talking to him. My boyfriend sees our friendship as harmless—and it is—so I'm not going to voice my suspicion. I'm just going to enjoy our friendship. I don't have many friends, so I really don't want to lose him.

Anyway, my friend and I are going to play Animal Crossing together soon. I'm really looking forward to playing with him. We've never played many games together because we play different consoles, but he recently got a Nintendo Switch Lite after I gushed about how fun Nintendo games are. We played Wizard 101 together in high school, and it was awesome. I hope Animal Crossing is just as fun.

But part of me feels like I'd be "cheating" on my boyfriend by playing Animal Crossing with my friend. And that sounds insane, but it's true! You see, my boyfriend and I met through an online-multiplayer video game, and playing Nintendo games together is kinda our thing. And my boyfriend and I played Animal Crossing together awhile ago, but I got bored ten minutes in and never played again—not until my friend recently bought the game. What if my boyfriend thinks I think my friend's more fun to play Animal Crossing with? What if he gets jealous?

Wow, reading my thoughts really highlights how bizarre they are. My boyfriend wouldn't get jealous over a game. I should really just enjoy myself. My boyfriend and I are going to be fine—right?