No control

"Remember...?"

Francis' POV

I'm taking Mary to the park. I'm driving the car, looking once in a while over to my beautiful girlfriend, I am truly so grateful for her, she's perfect in every way. I'm holding her hand, once in a while she squeezes it lightly if I'm staring too long at her and I'm not focusing on the road anymore. When I finished parking she kissed my cheek and we both got out of the car, our arms entangled immediately.

"Francis?" Mary asked, she looked up to me, I looked down with a tight smile on my face, not sure what I could expect.

"Mmm?" I murmured. I lowered my sunglasses and looked back at the park that was full with people. Somewhere sitting in the grass reading books or listening to music. Some people were barbecuing. Some were playing with a ball.

"Could we go to my place after this? So I could get my stuff and could stay for the week." She smiled at me while she said that she's so excited to be staying with me alone for a week, no parents, no siblings, just us. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't excited for this as well.

"Of course." I said and kissed her head.

We walked for a while, not talking, just being happy about the situation that is going on right now. God, she's amazing. I love her so, so much. Sometimes I really wonder what I did to deserve her. When we were almost in the car she let go of my arm to step into the car, immediately I felt the cold spot on my arm where she held on to.

"Your house then the supermarket to fetch some food for tonight?" I asked her, while clicking in my seatbelt and holding my girlfriend's hand, while starting the car and driving to her house.

"Francis do you remember the first time that you drove me to my house?" Mary asked, cutting the awkward silence that was hanging around us.

"Of course I do, for your swimsuit I recall." Where you looked incredibly hot. I wanted to add but that might be crossing my imaginary boundaries. I couldn't see her face but I knew that she was staring at me, smiling. how

"We talked about relationships." She said, I turned to her but turned quickly away as the road needed my concentration. We indeed did talk about relationships, that moment I also hoped that this is how we would end. And we did. We also talked about how I needed to act in school to not be seen as a playboy, and oh, we also talked about sex. That's also a thing we might need to talk about. I don't know how far she is in this relationship, and I will totally wait if she's not ready, I just would like to know where she thinks we stand as a couple, even though we've only been together for a week, but we know so much about each other already its been 2 months since I came back from boarding school and since everyday here in England, I've seen her some days even twice or trice. So she is like my bestfriend and my lover.

"We did, about how I should act if I didn't want to come over as a fuckboy or about..." I didn't finish that sentence, I didn't want to push her.

"-Sex." She finished what I couldn't.

"That's actually where I wanted to talk with you about," She said, taking a breath. I quickly glanced at her once more before turning my head back to the road. I don't know what she wants me to say, do I even have to say anything?

"Remember when we were in your parents' cabinet, in the woods? And that one night you- we needed to leave suddenly." I know exactly where she's talking about, we almost did it. I almost had sex with Mary Stuart.

"Yes, I see what you mean." I answered, showing her that I knew where she was talking about. She turned to face me and then looked down at her hands, her fingers entangled with each other and slightly playing with the fabric of her dress.

"I- I want to do it eventually, but not like tonight if you thought that that was what we were going to do." She said, Oh dear, she thought that I thought that... No. No. That was one of the least possible things that would happen tonight, I thought we would just lay with each other in bed and kiss or something and then fall asleep in eachothers embrace.

"Oh Mary, I don't think that at all. If you even feel uncomfortable at all I can sleep downstairs or I will grab a mattress and I can sleep on the floor." I suggested. I truly wouldn't mind if I just could see her when I wake up and see her when we fall asleep and the time inside that space I would already be thrilled. I love her, and I will do whatever she finds comfortable.

"No, Francis please. I'm just glad that we figured that out, that I figured that out. And I really don't want you to sleep on the ground. I want to sleep next to you and I mean sleep sleep, and I don't want to sleep with you, like..." She didn't finish out of shame probably, she was blushing furiously and was hiding her face from me.

"I know. And I don't think I'm ready either. Mary, whatever you're not comfortable with just tell me, don't be ashamed." I said, kissing her hand. We arrived by her fathers house. I already parked in the garage but I was still holding her hand protectively.

"Oh Francis," She kissed me and then embraced me "I love you." She finished.

"I love you too, forever."

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I'm loving this. I'll try to write tomorrow in the morning as well but we'll see. If I don't write a new chapter MERRY CHRISTMAS:)

-B