TO BE ALONE: a series of måneskin oneshots

after the breakup (t.r./måneskin)

TW: drug dependency, poor coping mechanisms

Coming up on the next album, you and the band had done what you five had done during the creation of il ballo della vita: rented a home and borderline locked yourselves in there until the album was completed.

"Locked yourselves" up was a little dramatic, however. You all went out from time to time, whether that be to get some air, play with Chili, swim in the pool, or cool off after an argument.

Damiano had been very vocal about not wanting to call this album Teatro D'Ira vol. 2, which Thomas would respond with an equally as vocal "so why the fuck did we call the first one volume one?!"

None of the bandmates could quite blame Thomas for his snarkiness. He had just suffered a pretty horrendous breakup.

His entire three year relationship had ended in the girl, Evelynn, confessing to her eighteen month love affair with her boss, to Thomas in a three minute and three second voicemail.

While the relationship and breakup was private, the emotional toll it took on Thomas was everything but.

You and Thomas were arguably the closest friendship that Måneskin had created. It broke your heart to see Thomas in such a state of grief.

There were mornings that nobody, not even you, could get Thomas out of his bed. Other days, he would be active and awake in rehearsals and then the minute you guys ended the session for the day, he'd tear his fingers up by playing (and taking) his emotions out on one of his older guitars.

You'd tend to his ripped open fingertips later in the night. He would be sidelined from playing his guitar for at least a day after that, for the blisters were still fresh and at high risk for getting re-opened.

Some days Thomas would refuse to eat anything, and some days, he would make a special trip to the grocery store and bring home bags full of Oreo cookies, pints of ice cream, and last night, he brought home an entire sheet cake.

You sat with him through the night as he gagged and heaved, trying to get the nauseous feeling out of his stomach. Impressively, he only threw up once after those instances.

He had been going hot and cold like this since the breakup three weeks ago.

The band agreed to take Sundays off, not writing or rehearsing unless they absolutely could not let an idea slip. On these days, you and Ethan would typically watch a movie while Thomas and Damiano would play soccer on the PlayStation.

However, this Sunday was not full of PlayStation games for Thomas. He had spent the entire day in bed, and come seven p.m., after dinner, Thomas just left.

Vic had gone out with some friends from back home that came to visit, so she was also out for the evening. On the contrary to Thomas, Vic had been in constant contact with the rest of the band -- checking in every now and then on when she thought she'd be home and reminding the band she was only at that Chinese restaurant down the road with the same friends.

Thomas had claimed he was running some errands, but now it was nearing nine and he hadn't come back home.

"Fuck!" Damiano shouted, throwing his phone down.

"Voicemail again?" Ethan asked.

"Yes." Damiano scowled.

Ethan and you both frowned, checking your respective phones to see if Thomas had answered either of your texts. He hadn't.

"Nothing here either." You said.

Damiano rolled his eyes. "Shit, okay. Should I just...go out looking for him?"