TO BE ALONE: a series of måneskin oneshots

over the counter sleep aids (t.r.)

TW: addiction and relapse

The bathroom was still hot and somewhat sticky from the hot steam of your shower. You had left to go change into your pajamas, but now you were back, facing the same  dilemma you did every single night.

As you stared at the bottle of TylenolPM in your hand, you could hear Thomas rehearsing from the home studio you two had built in the basement of your house. Your racing thoughts tuned out his guitar playing.

Without much debate from the side of your brain that was telling you taking sleeping pills longterm was a bad idea, you opened the bottle and dry-swallowed four capsules. You typically only took two, but you were desperate for sleep.

Your anxiety had been at an all time high recently and it had been doing nothing but keeping you wide awake at night. Work was piling up for you, and you really needed the rest.

You didn't even hear Thomas come up the stairs, you were too deep in your thoughts.

"Hey, I hope I didn't keep you up." Thomas spoke, leaning into the doorframe.

"Shit!" You jumped back, startled. In your fright, your hand shook the still open TylenolPM bottle and you watched the rest of the pills spill out everywhere.

You dropped to your knees and immediately started collecting the pills that had fallen. Thomas knelt with you and began helping you pick them all up.

After picking a few of the pills up, you saw Thomas rise to a standing position. He intently studied a few of the blue capsules in his hand. He flipped them around his palm, observing them, feeling their weight.

"I thought you got off all the medicine, no?" Thomas asked you hesitantly. You had had problems with reliance on over the counter sleep medications before, and you had been doing okay about it, but recently, you couldn't help yourself.

You looked up past your eyelashes to your boyfriend. You didn't want to talk about it, you just wanted to sleep. Silently, you looked back down.

"(Y/N)..." Thomas pried, dropping the pills he grabbed into the trashcan.

Your head snapped up at the sound of the capsules hitting the plastic trash bag. "Put them back." You demanded.

"What?" Thomas was dumbfounded.

"The pills, put them back in the bottle!"

Thomas frowned. "No, (Y/N), Love, they were on the floor. Talk to me, what's going on here?"

You sunk into the floor, completely sitting on the tile. Thomas sat beside you, sliding his back down the vanity. He took the rest of the pills you'd picked up and threw them away, along with the rest of the bottle.

Just at this sight, you broke down to tears. Sobs wracked through your body as Thomas pulled you close to him.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" He whispered, kissing your head and stroking your still wet hair.

"I just want to sleep!" You cried. Your body was shaking, and you didn't know if it was from the tears or the pills.

Thomas' heart broke. He knew how hard your job and school had been on your mental health. He knew your anxiety was at an all time high. He was brokenhearted that you had turned back to the substance abuse habits you'd been doing so well with avoiding.

"Oh, baby." Thomas coaxed. He scooped you up and carried you to your shared bed, making sure you were comfortable before laying down and facing you.

You instinctively began tracing his tattoos, finding a comfort in knowing that they'd always be there, and they'd always be the same.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Thomas asked, kissing at your fingers.

You'd stopped crying now as the medicine started to kick in. "I'm just so exhausted and I can't stop thinking..." Your words trailed away and your speech was slow.

"I know. I know." He tilted you into his chest.

"Are you mad?" You asked, after a moment of silence. "Because I took the medicine again?"

Thomas shook his head. "No, baby, not at all. I'm sorry you felt like that's what you had to do."

You shrugged, your eyelids getting heavy. You twisted and turned in Thomas' hold.

"Don't fight it." Thomas whispered. "Just let yourself fall asleep. I'm here with you."

That was enough confirmation for you to let the medicine knock you completely out. Thomas held you the whole night as your body shook and kept raising and lowering your temperature. The medicine was never good on you, and no doubt with how much you had taken.

Thomas promised to himself that in the morning, he'd throw all of the sleep aids out, but for now, he was only focused on being there with you.

~~~~~

WORD COUNT
791

A/N: two sleepy Thomas oneshots because I am sleepy lol hope you enjoyed