Possessive You (Enhypen Series #2)

43

xliii.

I feel bad for Jay, nanatili parin siyang tahimik sa byahe namin. Pagdating sa condo nila sa BGC ay agad na itong nagpaalam sa akin para makapag pahinga na. He didn't even bother eating dinner. Nagluto ako ng adobo saka siya dinalhan sa kwarto nito.

"I told you, kuya. Hindi ako uuwi sa Korea!...No! I won't leave Karen here....I'll drop the call." rinig kong mga sagot niya sa kausap.

I knocked on the door at agad naman niyang binuksan, I smiled at him and he smiled weakly at me.

"I brought you a dinner. Hindi pa tayo kumakain kaya for sure gutom kana." sambit ko.

He stared at me, "I love you." aniya.

I smiled back at him, "I love you too."

Jay needs someone to comfort him right now, he's been my comfort whenever I have problems, he's the one that I can open with. And seeing him break down right now tells me that I should be with him to comfort him.

His dad wants him to go back in Korea, at sa pagbalik nya roon ay maaaring hindi kona siya makita pa. He will marry that woman who is used to be his fiancée by force, by the deal, by decision of his parents. At sa ngayon ay mukhang ayaw rin makialam ng mga kapatid niya sakaniya dahil alam na nila ang mangyayari.

Ayokong maparusahan si Jay dahil sa akin. Dahil sa nilabag niya ang tradisyon ng kanyang katutubo, at sa di pagsunod sa kaniyang mga magulang. He's still their child, and they are still his parents. All I can do right now is to guide Jay, and never let him die because of me.

Ilang gabi ko rin itong pinagisipan. Kung anong maaari kong gawin para sakaniya, nguni't iisa lang ang naiisip ko. Ang pakawalan siya at hayaan sa maging buhay niya sa Korea. Pero masakit at mahirap sa akin iyon. Ano ang gagawin ko?

Jay woke up the next day, smiling at me. Napansin kong wala ang lahat at kaming dalawa nalang ni Jay ang natitira sa condo,

"Nanood silang prelims ni Benjamin sa Ice Skating." he said.

Hindi ako makangiti ng literal dahil nakikita ko mismo kay Jay na handa niyang isuko ang lahat para sa akin. I cried when he goes to the kitchen. Ayoko sanang gawin ito pero ano pang choice ko? Ayoko siyang mamatay, ayoko siyang itakwil ng pamilya niya. Ayoko!

Maybe I'm fine seeing him alive, and being loved by his family and future wife. I will be fine seeing him doing his best to survive, do everything he wants, and more without me.

Ako lang naman ang tanging naging problema kaya nagkaroon ng ganito sa buhay ni Jay, kung hindi na sana ako napalapit sakaniya ay baka hindi mangyayari to.

I wiped my tears as he go back sa sala. Binuksan niya ang isang soft drinks saka inilipat sa isang movie ang panoorin. Sumandal siya sa balikat ko at doon na nagsimulang tumulo ulit ng mga luha ko.

How can I let go this man? Mas pinili niya ako kaysa sa pamilya niya, but here I am planning to let him go. Pero ayoko ring maitakwil siya dahil sa akin. Those traditions wreck me, wreck him. But what should we can do? It's a tradition to be followed.

"J-Jay?" I called him.

"Hmm?" he softly answered.

"Do you love me?" tanong ko.

I heard him sighed and smiled while looking straight at the television, "Yes, I do. I really really do."

Sumikip ang dibdib ko. It will become days bago siya pabalikin ng Korea. At ang mga araw na iyon ay ang mga araw na mag iimpake siya kasama ng Kuya niya.

"I-I think you should go back to your own home." sambit ko.

"You are my home." I saw some tears escaping on his eyes. "Akala mo ba hindi ko nararamdaman iyang plina-plano mo, Karen?" his voice cracked. "I can reallt feel that you want to let go of me. Baby please no."

Tuluyan na siyang umiyak, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. It breaks my heart seeing him like this. Pero kailangan kong tatagan ang sarili ko.

"Hindi ako ang gusto ng parents mo para sa'yo, Jay." sambit ko. "I think it's better to listen to your parents-"

"You think it's better? What about me? What about my opinion? Is my opinion doesn't matter?" mas lumungkot ang mga mata at boses niya.

Ayoko rin nito, Jay. Pero wala tayong choice.

"Karen, hindi ko gusto si Chelsea. Ikaw! Ikaw ang gusto ko! Naiintindihan mo ba 'yon?"

"But you're breaking your traditions-!"

Napatayo ito, "Fck that traditions!" pagalit niyang sigaw. "I already committed a sin since the day I let myself fell in love with you." aniya.

"You need to get everything packed." matigas kong sabi. "Your brother will come here to fetch you."

"So you're breaking up with me?" he straigh forwardly asked.

"Yes, I am breaking up with you." iyak ko. "Ayokong mamatay ka dahil sa akin."

"Sa pakikipag hiwalay mo sa akin ay para mo na rin akong pinatay, Karen." nabasag nanaman ang boses nito.

Tumayo na ako at pumasok sa kwarto kung saan ako nag stay, inimpake ko na lahat ng mga gamit ko habang pinupunasan ang mga luha ko saka nilabas lahat ng sakit sa dibdib ko.

Jay keeps on knocking my door, "Karen, please. Please don't you leave me! Don't break up with me. I promise I will fix this, please trust me. I'll do my best for them to accept our relationship. Please baby, I'll do anything for us! Please stay on my side. Baby please." basag na basag niyang sabi.

We are over. He can finally go back to Korea to say sorry to his family for breaking their tradition. They can now accept him back, and make him marry Chelsea, the one that is suitable for him that is talented and a Korean. I do wish Jay for the best, now that I let him go. Maybe he can finally accept that I was not the one for him. That the world doesn't want us to end up with each other, but splitting us apart. This is what destined for us, and I can finally say to him now,

"Jay, we cannot escape the reality. The world doesn't want us together, you should go back and forget me. Do not chase me, or even try to go in our house because...you are not welcome there anymore. Always remember that I love you, but the pages of our love story ended right here. Thank you for the memories, always take care of yourself. Good bye."